Slivers
by alterego1387
Summary: A young singer who is living her dream begins to fall for a dancer putting all her plans in jeopardy. Will she give in and let love have its way or will she forsake it for her career? AU fic
1. Chapter 1

**Hello again. This has been tumbling around in my head for awhile so I decided to write it down. The finale didn't really satisfy my Brittana cravings and so as usual I turn to fan fiction. This is a teaser chapter of sorts, to get things started. Hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee.**

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**PROLOGUE**

It was an evening like every other and yet it was supposed to be magical, beautiful even. The young latina sat looking out her window at the ocean, listening to the crash of the waves and the calling of the gulls. Her stylist knocked on the door and upon getting no response impertinently stuck her head inside to remind her that it was time to start getting ready. Her team bustled in led by the loud young woman with blonde hair who barked instructions at the others and insulted them at every step. Seeing her only brought another pang to the latina who was reminded of her earlier stylist quitting. Kurt's not just a stylist, he is her friend.. was her friend.

She sat staring blankly at her reflection as the blonde who had the obnoxious name of Kitty curled her raven locks and tried to have a conversation with her, one that involved her chattering endlessly and receiving a grunt or monosyllable as a reply. She supposed she looked amazing, or atleast that was what the team was gushing, her hair and makeup impeccable, her clothes ravishing as usual, but she could barely look at herself in the mirror, but even in her numbed state she acknowledged that Kurt would do better. When she was ready she walked outside where Will was waiting for her in a limo. He was excited as usual and overly enthusiastic, but even that didn't bother her. She felt numb and cold. It sucked.

He looked down at her in concern and asked if she was alright to which she just nodded, content to sit in silence, alone with her thoughts. He was quiet before whispering, "I know you miss her". This caused an enormous surge of anger to erupt through her entire being as she fixed an angry glare on him and asked him to shut his mouth before she had him committed to an asylum for the clinically insane on account of his insistence that vests and gel actually mask the fact that he knew anything at all. Will clamped his mouth shut, knowing better than to aggravate her as he stared out the window. She on the other hand, felt her whole body shake with emotion and reached forward to tell the driver to stop. The driver obliged and she hopped out, mindless to Will spluttering that they were going to be late. She just needed some air.

The fresh breeze did soothe her somewhat as she continued to shake with anger. She was mad, mad at Will and mad at Kurt for leaving her with that idiot blonde and mad at Jesse who was a douchebag and tried to control her and mad at...She stopped pacing, not even wanting to think of her because that brought pain, and she couldn't deal with pain. She could divert her rage, yell at others, drink herself into oblivion, hurt and strike out but this soul crushing, gut wrenching pain she couldn't handle. She stomped back to the car and a tiny part of her mind acknowledged that she was also mad at herself.

The rest of the journey passed in silence. They pulled up at the venue and as she got out there was pandemonium, with flashes of cameras, people yelling out to her and general mayhem and chaos as she stood at the entrance. She smiled as she made her way down the red carpet, it was mostly genuine especially when the fans screamed her name. It made her feel... special, wanted. Like her life was worth it. But she didn't really feel complete, not without..._Stop it! _She told herself as she gave her mind a mental shake. Just get through this. She posed for the camera, her artificial smile firmly in place as numerous photographs for magazines and websites were taken and she made small talk with a number of people. Various idiot reporters asked her why she was alone and if there was no one special in her life and she smiled stiffly as she gave them her overused one liner response, "You guys will be the first to know" followed by a quick wink.

Her breath caught in her throat as she made her way into the auditorium. This was it! She, Santana Lopez was officially nominated for a Grammy Award. This was just the beginning of what she hoped would be a long, beautiful illustrious career. She'd struggled for this, gave everything for this. She should be on top of the world, except she wasn't.

She took her place and forced a smile through the same stale old jokes, although she did perk up at the musical performances, she still felt incomplete. They had been considerate enough to fill up the seat beside her but she still felt alone. It didn't help that the young upstart who was seated beside her was a big fan and attempted to talk to her every chance she got. She did look up when her name was announced as they reached her category. She should be feeling nervous, or excited or something. All she felt was blank, empty. Even when they announced her name as the winner, the fake smile took over naturally, effortlessly as her mind pondered wryly that it seemed to appear way more frequently than a genuine smile did. She made her way to the stage and accepted her award. She stepped to the microphone and looked out at the crowd, many of whom were on their feet. Her eyes locked with Will's who looked proud and then moved over to Jesse as he smiled at her triumphantly.

Something snapped inside her, as she looked at him. She cleared her throat and said, "This should be one of the greatest moments of my life, but... I can't accept this award from you without telling you who I really am. I owe it to all of you, my parents, my friends, my fans, and umm to people I've lied to, who I've hurt, I owe you all the truth. Today I answer the questions and put the rumours to rest. Today I would like to tell all of you sitting here as well as the rest of the world watching that I am a lesbian."


	2. Chapter 2

**SO a little explanation, this chapter is a flashback and all subsequent chapters will be for awhile. Italics are thoughts. Also the pace maybe a little slow at the start. Bear with me. **

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, favourites and alerts. I hope to do them justice. **

**Disclaimer- I don't own glee. **

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**FLASHBACK**

**One year ago**

The young blonde stood on the stage, panting slightly as she caught her breath, her attention directed at a trio of people who sat in the stands conferring amongst themselves. She was full of nervous energy as she waited their decision. She'd done a good job, she was sure, sometimes she thought dancing was the only thing she was sure of. "Brittany?" she heard a voice call as she looked up at the man in the wheelchair, seated in the centre. He smiled warmly at her and continued, "That was really good. We think you'll fit in really nicely with the other dancers. We would love to work with you." Brittany grinned a huge grin as she stood up straight and thanked him, before she was done the other man started speaking, "Well you move very freely and we appreciate that but we may not always go with a freestyle approach so you will need to work on that. We have a lot of people auditioning for these coveted roles and the label is interested in working with dedicated professionals..." Brittany zoned out a little, she didn't very much care for this particular person but he was a representative from the network and he pretty much called the shots, thankfully he was interrupted from his long and boring speech by the woman who sat on the other side of the table. "I think she gets it Jesse. Brittany, have your agent call ours and sign the necessary paperwork. We'll see you in the studio at 10 on Monday." Brittany nodded and smiled as she skipped off the stage and ran straight outside. She pulled out her phone and called her mom to tell her the good news. As expected her mom was as excited as she was and squealed about how proud she was of her baby girl. After she hung up, she sent a text to her friends, Sam and Ashley-_Come ovr 2nite. Need 2 tell u guys something._

Brittany checked the wine and food she'd set out, while humming along with the radio. She heard a knock on the door and bounced to open it before looking through the keyhole as she'd promised her mom she'd do. She smiled when Ashley walked in closely followed by Sam. They both hugged Brittany and then stood looking at her expectantly. "Well, spill it. What's the news? I was so curious that I missed my dose of reality tv." Ashley said. Brittany tried prolonging it and playing it cool but she was just too excited. "I got the part" she blurted out. Both Sam and Ashley looked even more confused. "Umm, what are you talking about?" Sam asked. Brittany chucked at their confused faces. "Ok guys sit down, I'll start at the beginning. My agent called me a few weeks ago and told me there were auditions for a music video for a new singer. Motta Records is handling it and they're really big. I figured this would be my lucky break, so I went for it. And I got the part." She finished excitedly. "Wow Brittany, that's awesome! Why didn't you tell us, we'd have come along or something." Sam said as he engulfed her in a big hug while Ashley jumped up and down clapping her hands. Brittany shrugged, "I didn't really wanna get my hopes up incase I didn't make it but they really liked me, although the weird guy kept saying a lot of big words that I didn't quite understand. Anyway they want me to sign the paperwork and start on Monday." "We should celebrate!" Ashley screamed. "Let's go out clubbing!"

Which is why Brittany wasn't feeling her best the next morning. She groaned as she pushed herself out of bed and to the bathroom. Her hair was a mess and her normally bright blue eyes looked clouded and dim. She splashed water on the face and got in the shower, the hot water helping only marginally as she dressed and made her way to the kitchen to see an equally hung over Ashley pouring coffee. She grabbed her cup and tried to swallow, grimacing as the dark liquid made its way down her throat. Ashley stared at her incredulously. "Wow you must feel like crap. You hate coffee" she stated, pouring herself another cup. "I feel like there's an elephant sitting on my head and my mouth feels like I swallowed a panda" Brittany groaned as she forced another sip down. "I need to go sign the paperwork and need a clear head or they'll try to ship me off to China or Dubai like I saw in that documentary." Ashley laughed, "No one is sending you to Dubai, now go before you're late."

Brittany walked out into the sunshine of a beautiful day as she smiled to herself while she walked to the building. She loved living in L.A. Everyone was so happy and pretty and full of fun, just her kind of people. The walk cleared her head sufficiently so that she wasn't feeling as hungover when she walked in. After she finished signing all her paperwork, she looked up at the Asian girl who was there to answer her questions. "Hey Tina, right?" The Asian nodded in reply. "So who is this new singer I'm gonna be working with?" Tina smiled and replied, "Oh she's popular on youtube, mostly done covers and stuff. She's just finished her first album and we have a lot of hope for it. She's got a very unique sound. We're hoping the music video will spike sales in the teenage age group." Brittany nodded and then asked, "What's her name?"

"Santana Lopez"

* * *

Santana Lopez was all about image. A rising star she'd been discovered thanks to the wonders of the internet. A video of her singing had gone viral and after a brief stint in New York, she'd moved to L.A to follow her dream. She was soon discovered and signed with Motta Records (a name she found ridiculous in all sorts of ways). She yawned while sitting in the boardroom listening to the douchebag representative talk about the do's and dont's that she needed to follow. Apparently when a record company signed you, they also owned you, as the douchebag was fond of saying. The douchebag in this case was Jesse St James, idiot extraordinaire and unfortunately the one in charge. Her manager Will sat by her side, nodding in agreement making Santana want to punch him for being such a suck up, but as he often reminded her, it really was 'their way or the highway'.

Santana was bored, as she pulled out her nail file and started filing her nails zoning out Jesse's voice. He paused his monologue and looked at her in astonishment. "What the hell do you think you're doing? I'm literally in the middle of talking to you. Do you not comprehend how important this is to your success?" he asked sarcastically.

Santana paused her ministrations and glared at him. "Let me make one thing clear, my voice and my looks are important to my success. People are gonna hear me or see me and want to buy my album, not cos you just sat here and slowly sucked the life out of everyone with the most boring speech ever."

Jesse turned red and started to splutter, as Will hastily stood up to work on damage control, a task he was getting very good at. "Jesse, why don't you and I go over all these legalities. Maybe Santana can go meet the dancers we chose for the tour. I mean we are going to start rehearsals tomorrow. It'll give them some time to get to know each other" he said. Jesse just snorted derisively as Santana shrugged and stood up. "Hey Asian Sensation, wanna show me where these dancers are at?" she asked. Tina's eyes widened and she looked at her boss for confirmation. He nodded and she quickly picked up her things and followed Santana out who threw a "Later Losers!" over her shoulder.

They walked in silence till Tina looked at her. "My name's Tina by the way. Tina Cohen-Chang"

Santana looked at her in surprise and nodded. "Not gonna remember that, but thank you for trying" she replied sarcastically.

Tina looked at her again before venturing tentatively. "You know, maybe it's best to rile him up."

Santana looked at her incredulously. "Wait, did we walk into a parallel dimension where I seem to have lost my mind and actually asked for your advice? No... Didn't think so. Maybe you should just continue doing your job and let me worry about mine ok."

Tina glared at her as she forcefully pushed open a door, and led her into a room where she saw a few people who were in the middle of a routine. She stood and waited while they finished while she eyed them speculatively. Santana could sing and yeah she could even dance pretty decently but this lot looked really good, especially the asian guy and the blonde in the front. The song ended and the whole lot high fived each other as they looked at the choreographer who was nodding his approval. He walked in between them correcting postures and giving them a few tips on how to best do the steps. It was the Asian who finally noticed them. "We have company" he declared as he smiled bashfully.

The choreographer turned around and looked questioningly at Tina who seemed to have forgotten where she was, as she stared...no leered at the tall Asian guy. Santana rolled her eyes as she stepped forward and introduced herself to the choreographer. She didn't get a chance to process his name as her eyes looked past him into the clear, blue eyes of the dancer behind him. He must have asked her something and she snapped back but not before noticing a smirk flit across the blonde's face. She felt annoyed with herself and strangely flushed. The choreographer who everyone seemed to call J then took her around and introduced her to the other dancers. There was a tall, shy guy called Matt, a redhead called Jess and a pretty looking African American called Nicole or Nikki. She nodded hardly paying attention till she reached the asian guy and the blonde. The guy leaned forward cutting off her view of the blonde face and said, "I'm Mike Chang" his name sounded familiar, but her thoughts were distracted when the blonde jumped forward and announced her name- Brittany S Pierce. Santana smirked, at that, to which the blonde told her with a very serious face that she was in no way related to Brittany Spears, and was a much better dancer. Santana just nodded, not quite knowing what to say. She was really surprised, that she didn't say something bitchy and for a second felt worried, that is till she saw Tina talking to Mike with a sappy look on her face and then it clicked. She smirked evilly and walked up to them.

"Hey isn't your surname Chang too?" she asked Tina, who was looking at her warily.

Upon seeing Tina's nod of confirmation, her smirk grew as she looked between the two of them and asked, "So then are you two related? Like you're brother and sister right?"

Tina looked horrified and Mike looked confused. "No no, we aren't related. Atleast I don't think we are. Wait are you related to Tim and Gina Chang who live in..." Santana laughed as Tina glared at her while Mike kept trying to find relatives that they may have in common.

Brittany sidled up to her and whispered, "That wasn't very nice. I think she likes him"

Santana rolled her eyes and said, "Well blondie, why do you think I did it? She was so embarrassed."

Brittany turned her blue eyed gaze on her and leaned forward. "Well Santana, I think that it was mean of you"

Santana scoffed, and once again tried to give the blonde an appropriate comeback. Unfortunately her brain did not seem to want to, so she just stared back at Brittany with her piercing gaze mutely, till her mouth did finally work to mumble out a "sorry". Brittany's blue eyes lit up immediately while Santana flushed... _wait what just happened? Why the fuck did I apologize_?_ And more importantly why did the damn blonde's opinion matter? _She huffed and turned around and walked over to J. "Hey G, so I'll see you guys tomorrow for the start of rehearsals. I need to go now." She turned and walked away, without waiting for him to reply weakly," Its J"

That night Santana sat holding a glass of wine in her hand, soft music streaming through the system. She looked of her windows on to the dark street below, the noise of traffic keeping her up. She really should sleep, but she was really excited about tomorrow, she was finally going to be recognized, be a star. It was everything she had ever dreamed about.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews and alerts. You are all awesome. Italics are thoughts. Without further ado, the second chapter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own glee. **

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"Why am I doing this again?" Santana asked Will as he accompanied her down a hallway. "Santana, you have to do a photo shoot, they need this stuff for the tour." Will replied patiently as he held open a door for her and followed her into a room. Tina was waiting for them along with a weirdly dressed young guy with really delicate features. He smiled at her and introduced himself as the stylist- Kurt Hummel. Santana nodded back and said, "Pleased to make your acquaintance Lady Hummel, how about you get down to making me look spectacular enough for even your man-only loving parts to start tingling?"

Kurt looked appalled and blushed a deep shade of red as Santana brushed past him and changed into the short black outfit she was to wear. When she came back out, Kurt who was still a shade of pink, styled her hair to form wild curls and then proceeded to do her makeup while trying hard to avoid eye contact as Santana smirked. She nodded approvingly at her reflection and said, "Not bad Ladyface" and laughed at his annoyed expression before walking out to where the shoot was to happen.

Santana was nervous, though she pretended not to be. Everyone was bustling around her in the process of setting up and she stood, adopting a look of boredom as she scanned her phone. Will had appeared and was talking to her and she just about managed to zone in to his conversation, "... look so good. I can't believe this is happening. I always knew you could do it. I'm so proud of you." Santana looked at him in surprise, "Are the vapours from your hair gel making you even more insufferable today? I'm awesome, of course this was gonna happen" she said snarkily. Will rolled his eyes, well used to Santana's acid tongue, before pulling her to the side. "I have some good news. I got you an interview with a magazine, to promote the tour. It's just a small article but I think it'll be good for you." Santana smiled a genuine smile. "Thank you Will" she said simply, smirking at Will's surprised face. "What?! I can be nice, I just choose not to be. Now are we actually gonna start?"

The photographer was some weird guy who kept talking to her through one of his assistants, if it weren't for Will's warning looks Santana would totally have gone all Lima Heights on his ass. She scowled when he asked her to atleast try to be sexy. Will intervened before Santana could retort and pulled her over to Kurt saying she needed a touch up. Kurt was giggling to himself, and Santana arched an eyebrow at him, "Find something funny, Porcelain?" He continued smiling and simply said "Karma's a bitch they say" while he went about touching up her makeup. She looked at him in surprise before a small smirk appeared on her face. "You know, lose the lady looks and the hideous clothes and you aren't half bad. Now move your ass so I can get the fuck out of here."

They had just started reshooting when the door to the room banged open and a flustered looking blonde stood outlined in the doorway. "Oh...um... This is not the dance studio. Shit!" she said. Santana couldn't make out who she was past the glare of the lights but her voice sounded familiar. She continued posing seductively as the photographer resumed clicking when the blonde's voice interrupted again. "So...could anyone tell me where the studio is. I'm really late, and I seem to have messed up the directions" Just then the girl walked under a lamp and Santana recognized Brittany. "Hey Brittany, I didn't know it's you. Will can help you out." The impatient photographer, huffed and told his assistant to get rid of "Thees stoopid girl," and Santana saw Brittany's face fall slightly. She'd had enough of this guy anyway, "Hey! How about you shut up and finish the job that you are so obviously overpaid for so we can all get back to doing something that is actually constructive with our lives rather than standing around breathing the same air as you." The photographer looked incensed and screeched to his assistant that all thee beetches could leave the room, before storming off. Santana chuckled as she walked over to Brittany who was talking quietly to Kurt and an aghast looking Will. "So the biggest beetch left. How about we go get our dance on huh?" she asked Brittany jovially. Brittany smiled and nodded and linked her arm through Santana's as they walked out together.

"So are you excited to be going on tour?" Brittany asked, as they walked down the corridor.

"Oh yeah, Will said touring is the best way to get some publicity. Jesse ofcourse disagreed with him, but I pushed for it. I can't wait to get started." Santana said, as they reached a point where the hallway branched into two.

"Tina told me to take the right one" Brittany murmured as she pointed towards her left and started walking that way.

Santana stopped her and held up Brittany's right hand, "It's this one" she said quietly and then still holding the blonde's hand gently tugged her down the right hand side corridor, towards the studio. Santana was surprised at herself. She wasn't one to be very physical. Cuddling, holding hands, infact anything that invaded her personal space unless she initiated it was a no-no. But with Brittany she felt comfortable, it was startling because Santana didn't really warm up to people very quick.

They walked in together and Brittany walked off to do her warm up as Santana walked over to J and he began to teach her the steps. Santana was only using the dancers for a few tracks but she was no professional, so she needed to work doubly hard to get it right. Dance rehearsals were almost everyday and Santana pushed herself harder than the others, often coming in earlier and staying late, making Will worry that she'd injure herself. Santana on the other hand liked to be prepared and didn't like looking like an idiot in front of the others. One night, after everyone had left, Santana stayed back to work on a particular step that she just couldn't seem to get. She tried the twirl over and over but still wasn't able to do it. A voice rang out from the semi darkness, startling her, "Need some help?" Santana jumped and tried to still her rapidly beating heart, "Brittany? Fuck you scared the crap outta me. What are you still doing here?" she asked. Brittany came forward, "I forgot my phone. I came to get it" she said as she held out the sparkly device. Santana's breathing had slowed and she felt less freaked. "I was just practicing the step for the third song, I can't seem to get it right." She said as she turned back. The dancer continued staring at her and Santana felt heat burn along her neck, face and ears, "Could you not look at me, I can't remember how it goes" she said in a strained mumble. Brittany laughed, "But you're gonna be doing this on stage. Everyone's gonna be looking at you" she said. Santana's rapid heartbeat resumed as she digested Brittany's words. _Everyone was going to be looking at her, and if she fucked up, there was no second chance, this was all she had._ Suddenly she felt a warm hand in hers. Her startled brown eyes looked into clear blue ones. "Let's get outta here" she whispered.

They walked to an ice cream place where Brittany ordered a huge sundae with extra sprinkles and toppings which they shared. Santana fell into easy conversation with the blonde. They talked about everything, and Santana felt herself relaxing considerably, as the blonde put her at ease. While they were both making fun of Jesse, Brittany looked at Santana and said quietly, "You're gonna be great Santana. I can feel it."

Santana flushed with Brittany's unexpected compliment, surprised that it actually meant a lot to her. "Thanks Britt, I appreciate that" she said softly.

"It's ok to be nervous, but you're already good which is why you're here, why you're going on tour next week and why fans are gonna be screaming out your name. No one is gonna remember a failed dance step or two" she said as she licked chocolate sauce off her finger.

"Thanks Britt. Could you... I hate to ask this... but do you think you could help me out a little with the choreography?" Santana asked hesitantly.

Brittany's answer was a beaming "Of course" and a tight hug.

* * *

In the weeks that followed, they became close friends, Brittany seemed to understand her without needing words, and the two would often sit and talk for hours on end. Santana realized that Brittany was unlike anyone she had ever known, she went from snarky to innocent, from sweet to bitchy, from naughty to nice and in anyone else it would have pissed Santana off but not with Brittany. The other dancers soon realized that Santana and Brittany were joined at the hip and would sometimes invite Santana out for pizza or a few drinks after rehearsals. It was all new and overwhelming for Santana who was so used to being a bitch in high school that actually being liked was weird for her. With Brittany she even learned to control her tongue around Jesse, albeit not always.

Will worked tirelessly to get Santana the publicity she required. Since this was her first album, they needed a lot of promotion to make it work, and Jesse had already told her on several occasions that they had expected a better response. It was another reason the tour meant so much to her. She needed to be heard by different audiences so that she could be taken seriously. Jesse micromanaged everything for her, from the song selection to approving the choreography to how she needed to sing, and it drove Santana crazy. She hated the fact that she had so little control over her music, especially since she was the one singing. Santana would get really pissed off and then would go to rehearsal where Brittany's smiling face would calm her down, allowing her to relax and enjoy her dancing sessions.

She was in the studio rehearsing when Brittany (who after getting lost three more times had finally learned the way) came barging through the doors with a manic smile on her face. She literally pounced on a surprised Santana making them both promptly tumble down. "Oww Britt, what the hell?" Santana complained as she gingerly tried to lift herself up and then pulled Brittany up as well. Brittany's reply was to wave a magazine in Santana's face. "Oh my God! There's an article on you in this. I just saw it and came right over. That is so cool" she yelled excitedly as Santana beamed and grabbed it out of Brittany's hands. "It's out already? I thought they were waiting for the concert. Have you read it yet?" she asked as she quickly leafed through it till she came to the article. It was a half page article devoted to young stars, with a classy black and white picture of hers to accompany the text. Santana's smile widened as her eyes skimmed through the article that outlined her rise to fame. It talked about her move from her small town in Ohio to New York, to her struggling days at the bar she worked at and how her videos on youtube covering various songs for karaoke night caught the eye of the record label, leading to her signing a contract for her first album. Her eyes shining she turned to Brittany after she finished reading, and the blonde looked at her with awe in her eyes. "You have to sign this" she said simply. Santana giggled, "It's like a half page article Britt" she said. "So what? When I look at this, and when you look at this we're gonna remember this is the beginning, this is where it all started and you'll remember that I was here and asked for your first autograph" she said simply as she pulled out a purple marker pen from her bag and handed it to Santana with a flourish. "Make it out to Brittany S Pierce please" she said as she pretended to swoon. Santana laughed and signed, **"To Brittany S Pierce. This is just the beginning. Love, Santana Lopez 3"**

* * *

Before she knew it, it was time for the tour to start. Their first concert was scheduled to be in L.A itself and Santana was the most nervous she'd ever been. She was going to be touring with two other groups, one a boy band called the Warblers and another famous pop solo artist called Sunshine Corazon (a name she still scoffed at). Brittany's group was to be dancing back up for both Sunshine and Santana. Sunshine was a much bigger star, her music successfully charting and being used in a number of advertisements, tv shows and movies; and her tour bus was full of her entourage that consisted of agents, managers, stylists and hair and makeup, and PR people. The Warblers filled up another bus, leaving Santana to bunk with the dancers, something she looked forward to. The band and their instruments, as well as stage hands and other techs filled up the other buses. Jesse had gone over the necessary do's and dont's with Santana atleast a thousand times, not that she ever paid attention to them, leaving it Will to figure out.

It was the night of her first concert. They were playing at a medium sized venue and Santana was nervous, as she sat in front of the mirror while Kurt fussed over her makeup. "Can you try and sweat a little less" he said sarcastically as he tried to unsuccessfully apply some foundation. She snarled and swatted his hand away, too nervous to even come up with a retort. They were using local talent as opening acts followed by Santana, The Warblers and Sunshine for the big finish. Santana bounced her leg as her face contorted in anxiety. Just then a warm hand fell on her shoulder. "Hey!" Brittany said quietly as she sat down next to the singer. "I got you something" she said as she held out a goofy snapshot of the two of them at the mall. Both of them wore silly expressions and it made Santana giggle. "I figured you would be nervous so I got you this. You can look at it and remember how much fun we had, and that'll take away all your nervousness. Besides, I'm gonna be right up there on that stage with you ok." she said with a smile. "Thanks Britt" Santana said softly. "I'm just... what if they don't like me?" she asked worriedly. Brittany scoffed, "That's impossible. You're like the coolest person ever, and everyone's gonna know that" she said as she bopped her nose. Santana smiled and stood up before giving Brittany a hug. "You're a genius Brittany. Thank you" she said as she took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. "It's showtime" she whispered and walked out.

Santana would always remember that moment when she stepped on to the stage, the empty room where she had her sound check earlier was full of people. She walked up to the microphone and experienced a moment of anxiety, her heart pounded so loud in her ears she thought she wouldn't be able to hear the band, her palms were sweaty and her throat felt dry, then she looked into the wings and saw Brittany give her an encouraging smile. She smiled back and felt her anxiety abate as she introduced herself to the crowd who started to clap. She performed her set enthusiastically, egged on by the response of the crowd who were clapping along and cheering. Brittany would gently touch her shoulder or some part of her body as she danced to serve as a reminder that she was there. Santana finished her set to a loud round of applause. Her chest heaved as tears formed in her eyes. She felt wired, full of the energy and love from the crowd. It was a feeling she would never forget.

Backstage Will gave her an enthusiastic hug and she hugged him back, their hard work finally paying off. Brittany was nowhere to be found since she'd gone to prepare for Sunshine's act. After the show she decided to mingle a little with the fans, talking to them, and even signing a few autographs. She went back on stage to make the final bow and then proceeded to go look for Brittany. Puzzled by the blonde's absence, she finally went to her dressing room figuring she'd just call her and saw the blonde waiting for her.

"Santana! That was so awesome. You didn't look nervous or anything" she exclaimed as she hugged her tight, lifting her in the process and spinning her around. Santana giggled hysterically while squealing, "Britt put me down, we're gonna fall." The blonde finally lowered the latina, coming face to face with her. They were really close and Santana felt her breath catch. They stood staring at each other in silence before Brittany pulled away and held out a camera. "I thought we could add to the silly pictures on your dressing room mirror" she said as they posed and she clicked. They waited for the photo to develop and Santana smiled as she saw it. It was a cute one where they were both smiling happy smiles. Brittany pulled out another green marker (_where does she keep getting these things) _and proceeded to scrawl ** the beginning** on the picture. She handed it over to Santana, and said "It's so you'll always remember us at the beginning, even when you're a big star someday" then leaned in and kissed her cheek before she left.

Santana stood there with tingles running through her body and a smile on her face. _I love this adrenalin rush. Brittany's right! I am at the beginning, and there is no way I am gonna fuck this up. No matter what_, she thought as she unconsciously rubbed her cheek.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer I don't own glee**

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After all the hard work and preparation, it was finally time for the **Get Ready** tour to start. The first few days of touring was spent in getting into the flow of things. Besides the dancers- Brittany, Boy Chang, Nikki, Jess and Matt who formed the dance troupe, there was also Girl Chang representing her douchebag boss and Will, who came along "to protect his client's interests or some such crap" but mostly to keep an eye on Santana. Their perpetually bored looking bus driver Brad completed the group. Santana soon realized that most of the dancers had to keep moving, they were literally unable to sit still. They would often have impromptu dance sessions and act completely crazy. Santana got along fairly well with the dancers, gossiping and reading magazines while the boys hooked up an x-box and tried to outdo each other. As the tour progressed Santana started being way more comfortable with her companions. On stage she'd interact with her dancers sometimes dancing up against the guys, always eliciting a loud roar of approval from the crowd, sometimes she'd dance along with one of the girls, another crowd favourite. She was having a lot of fun, performing, knowing full well that here under the lights, basking in the adoration of the crowd was where she was meant to be.

As Santana got comfortable with the dancers, they got comfortable with her, often acting like a bunch of teenagers driving Will insane as they trashed the bus on a regular basis. He'd given up sitting with them and would sit up front, with Brad who looked even more bored as Will launched into details of his infinitely boring life. Kurt was also with them but he spent a lot of time hanging out with the boy band, Santana's guess was that he had his eyes on more than one of the supposedly straight singers. She and Brittany would hang out all the time, talking about the weirdest stuff that made the other girls roll their eyes. She realized that she cared for the blonde, felt the need to protect her and was quick to jump to her defense if one of the others made a rude remark. She realized Brittany was a very touchy-feely person, always linking their arms, or jumping up to hug someone out of the blue or resting her head on someone's shoulder when they were tired. Santana who always had strict boundaries with people had no problem with Brittany. It was like the blonde could just demolish all her walls and walk right in. She had never felt so comfortable with someone in such a short period of time before.

One late night, they were put up at a hotel, choosing not to travel because of a storm coming in. Santana had just started to doze when she heard a knock on her door. Her brow furrowed as she wondered who it could be. She padded over and peeked through the peephole and smiled as she opened the door. "Hey! Is everything OK?" she asked as she let Brittany in. Brittany just nodded, looking a little unsure, as a loud crack of thunder sounded overhead and a bright flash of lightning rent the sky outside the window. Brittany jumped a little. "Ummm... I'm not really scared as such but I don't like sleeping alone when there's a storm. I was sharing with Jess, but she's out for the night visiting a friend. I was wondering if I could stay here with you" she said quietly wringing her hands. Santana looked at the anxious blonde in front of her. The blonde's troubled blue eyes looked into Santana's pleading with her and her mouth formed a slight pout. "Sure Britt. You can stay here" Santana said as she smiled warmly.

They lay in bed, both wide awake as the storm raged outside. Brittany would jump slightly everytime she'd hear the loud claps of thunder overhead. Santana turned to face her and started asking her questions to distract her.

"Where did you grow up?" Santana asked

I grew up all over actually. My parents work with National Geographic so we'd move a lot" Brittany replied

Santana looked at her amazed, "That must have been hard. Moving all the time."

Brittany shrugged and Santana could just about make out her face in the darkness, "Nah. It was ok. I make friends super fast so I always had a whole lot of friends. Plus I realized I was good at cheerleading and that always made me popular"

"Hey I was a cheerleader in high school too" Santana said happy that they had some common ground and then spent the next few minutes talking about their cheerleading days.

"So do you have a boyfriend?" Brittany asked

"Nah. Haven't really had the time for one. Besides I don't really do relationships" Santana said casually. "You?"

"No I don't either" she replied.

"Wow two hot things like us and single. We should do something about that" Santana joked.

"Well San, you and me? I dunno... I have thought about it sure but it'll be really weird with the others don't you think?" Brittany said

Santana stared back at her with her mouth hanging open. "What? No no, God! I meant we should get some guys Britt. Wait.. you've thought about it? What do you mean, you've thought about it?" she asked

Brittany shrugged, "Just stuff. I like hanging out with you. I'm sure I'd like doing other stuff too" she said casually as she played with the edge of the sheet, oblivious to Santana's alarmed expression.

"uhh.. Brittany I dont.. uh.. I don't think that..." Santana spluttered feeling very hot all of a sudden as she tried to form a coherent sentence.

Brittany seemed completely unfazed by what she had said instead humming to herself and then randomly asking, "Do you think friends can be more than just friends?"

Santana was pretty sure she was having a panic attack right now. "Wh...what?" she spluttered again.

"I think Jess kinda has the hots for Matt. She was checking him out and they're always flirting with each other. I think she may like him. I think they'd be good together" she said with a smile still playing with the edge of the sheet.

Santana breathed a small sigh of relief at this statement but at the same time felt the tiniest twinge of disappointment. _What the fuck is happening to me? Girl talk, I can do girl talk. _So instead she giggled and they spent a while gossiping about their other dancer friends. Brittany had known Mike from Chicago and they were really good friends that went way back. Santana wished she knew the blonde that well, she was actually jealous of Mike Chang. _Did they date? They seem like they have history. I don't think I really want to know though. But isn't that what friends talk about? Shit! What is going on with me? _

"I didn't have many friends growing up" Santana confessed quietly. Brittany looked at her, her eyes concerned, "Why not?" Santana shrugged, "I didn't have the best personality, I was kind of a bitch back then. I was popular, part of the cheerios, that was the cheerleading group, but I never felt like I fit in, a part of me always felt a little different from everyone else and I guess I hated that and so I directed my anger towards them"

Brittany nodded sagely, "That's like Lord Tubbington, he was in a gang but the gang members were ordering him to peddle drugs and he didn't want to but he wanted to be their friends so he ate a lot and got really fat"

Santana looked dazed. _What the fuck did she just say? What is a fucking Lord Tubbington?_ "Umm... who is Lord Tubbington?" she asked hesitantly

Brittany beamed and grabbed her phone scrolling down to a picture of a humungous cat, "That's him. I've had him since he was a baby"

Santana didn't know whether to laugh or not. _Is she being serious right now? She thinks her cat did what? Fuck that thing is huge. _"He looks...cute" she replied instead "Where is he now?"

"Oh I got my friend Sam to look after him till I'm back. He likes Sam, and doesn't try to run away as much. Not that he could really run, he kinda waddles, like a duck. Hey... is he part duck? But he hates the water, no that won't make sense.." Brittany rambled on, talking to herself.

Santana looked at her in amazement, not because of what she was saying but because for once she didn't have a snarky sarcastic comment to make. If someone else had said half this shit she'd have laid into them, giving them a full taste of her acid wit but with Brittany it was...cute. Shit, what was wrong with her. She was a bitch, she lived for moments like this, but she didn't want to hurt the blonde. _Wow. I think I give an actual fuck about her feelings. _

"...anyway but people told me I'm stupid so I stopped." Brittany said sadly. Santana hadn't heard the entire conversation, just the fact that the blonde's voice had broken a little when she said people thought she was stupid, and it made her really angry. She felt instantly protective of the blonde.

"I don't think you're stupid Britt" she said quietly, meaningfully.

Brittany's eyes lit up and she smiled her happy smile. It made Santana feel really sad. _How many people had called her that? What sort of asswipes would do that to someone so special. How could they not see how beautiful the person the blonde was. _She felt a surge of protection towards the blonde, wanting to wrap her arms around her and comfort her. But insteadshe moved closer to the her and said, "I don't think you're stupid. I think you're a genius, and people are stupid if they can't see that" and she gently bopped her nose. "C'mon, we should get some sleep. We need to be up early tomorrow."

She heard the blonde sigh happily as she snuggled into the blankets. Santana smiled too, all too aware of the blonde's scent filling the bed, filling her senses, making her feel...nice, comfortable. Just as she was dozing she felt the blonde's pinkie link with hers. "Thanks for this Santana. I really like you" she whispered. "Me too Britt" she whispered back. _A lot more than I ever thought possible. _

**Host: **Good Morning San Francisco, welcome to Monday Morning Blues with Bob on your favourite radio station 181.3 FM. We have a special guest with us in the studio today, Santana Lopez who is currently on tour. Great to have you on Santana.

**Santana: **Thanks Bob. It's great to be here.

**Bob:** So you're on tour with the Warblers and Sunshine Corazon, all signed under Motta Records. How's that going for ya?

**Santana:** It's incredible. I mean I never thought I'd enjoy it so much. Being on stage every night, it's just an awesome experience and the fans have been really amazing.

**Bob: **You have quite an extensive tour lined up. How do you guys keep up your energy levels on the road?

**Santana: **(laughs) Yeah I don't know myself. I think my manager is going to kill himself, cos he's looking after a bunch of teenagers, but we're doing what we love. I guess that's enough.

**Bob: ** So you guys do some really crazy dance routines I've heard. Were they difficult for you, being a singer?

**Santana:** Some of them are. I'm not a professional dancer so I'm always trying to keep up but I love to dance, so it's still fun. The dancers help me a lot, they're really good.

**Bob:** You have a show on tonight. Are you excited about that?

**Santana: **Oh yeah definitely. It's like a dream performing in San Francisco. I have to keep reminding myself this is real. Not just for me, but the others too. My friend Brittany says this is one of her favourite cities so she's really happy about us being here.

**Bob: **Hear that San Francisco. Here's Santana's hot single coming at you and while you're at it, how about we show some love for Santana and Brittany by being there tonight . Passes are available at...

"Hey!" Brittany said as she walked into the room later. "I got you something" she said, holding out a small cupcake with pink frosting and sprinkles. "It's to sorta congratulate you on doing an awesome interview. I asked for extra sprinkles" she explained setting it in Santana's hand.

"Britt. You didn't need to do that" Santana said, a little surprised.

Brittany shrugged, "I think we should celebrate the little victories. You were nervous about this interview and you did good and you should treat yourself. Sometimes the small stuff matters" she said.

Santana nodded, not sure what to say. "Will you share it with me?" she asked.

"Sure" Brittany replied happily.

As they ate it, Santana asked, "you said I was nervous.. how did you know?"

Brittany shrugged, "You were snippy with the others and couldn't stop nibbling at your nails. Besides you get this little frown between your eyebrows" she answered as if it was the most obvious thing.

Santana was stunned, "Oh.. Umm I didn't know you'd noticed that" she said. _Oh my god why would she notice that?! _Her thoughts suddenly stalled as Brittany reached over and gently wiped some icing from the corner of her mouth and licked it off her finger with relish. _Did she just do that? Why am I not mad? It's kinda...hot. Oh Shit! What is wrong with me? _

"Well I should get going, thank you Santana." Brittany said standing up.

"I should be thanking you. Why're you thanking me?" said a perplexed Santana.

"For mentioning me on the radio. That was so cool that you remembered that I said that. Nobody's ever paid attention to what I've said before." Brittany said with a smile, giving her a quick hug before leaving.

The concert was a roaring success, the fans wildly supportive and encouraging which only egged on the dancers. So it was no surprise that the group was on a high when they were to travel to the next destination. Taking Brittany's philosophy on celebrating the little things very seriously, Santana smuggled in a case of beer and got everyone to drink up. Will tried to stop them but as Santana pointed out, it was only beer and they were going to be driving most of the day anyway and didn't have a concert the next day. He gave up and went to sit up front while the others put on some music and brought out the chips. After finishing off most of the beers they convinced Will to stop at a convenience store for candy and distracted him long enough to smuggle in even more beer and some tequila.

They all played drinking games as best as they could steadily getting more and more buzzed. It started to get dark, and they insisted on the lights being off so it feels like a real party as Jess put it. The music had slowed down a little and everyone was lounging around, pretty drunk by then. Santana around her and smirked at what she saw. Tina and Mike were making out in a corner, Matt and Brittany were doing this weird sort of dance-off, Kurt was smiling goofily at his reflection in the window and Jess and Nikki were screaming excitedly over what looked like a candy wrapper. She laughed and thought back to how similar these parties were to high school, until she had a brilliant idea. "Hey guys, how about we play truth or dare?" she announced.

After much groaning and hysterical giggling, they finally settled down to play. Mike picked Dare and had to put on lipstick and blow kisses at atleast three old ladies who drove past. Kurt picked truth and was asked to confess which Warbler he had the hots for. "Blaine," he admitted while everyone cheered and Santana yelled, "Eyebrows?! No Way!" Jess picked truth and was asked to tell everyone her most embarrassing moment, which turned out to be her drunk dialing her brother thinking he was her boyfriend and attempting to have phone sex with him. Everyone was laughing hysterically by now, as Brittany chose dare and had to call an old boyfriend and tell him he was a dick. Tina also chose dare, and had to do a body shot off of Mike, which she complied with rather eagerly, leading to much teasing and jeering by the others. Santana was dared to go ask Will if he ever thought of doing the nasty with her while sitting on his lap. He almost threw her off in shock, leading to another round of hysterical giggles. The game slowly picked up with Santana being dared to press her bare boobs against the window, almost causing an accident in the process, Jess having to lick Matt's ear while talking dirty to him, the boys having to strip down to their boxers and do a sexy dance for the girls while they stuffed dollar bills into them, and truths like what is your favourite sexual position? How often do you jerk off (to Mike)? Are you a top or a bottom?

Mike decided to heat it up by asking Jess (who'd chosen truth) to pick a boy and girl from the group to have a threesome with. She blushed and picked Tina and Matt. Everyone started cheering and whooping and she playfully hit Matt who said he'd only be too happy to oblige, before turning to Brittany who was next and asked what she chose, truth or dare. Brittany chose dare. Matt then turned to her with an evil smile and said, "I dare you to kiss one of the other girls, with tongue for a minute." Brittany rolled her eyes at this as Mike high-fived Matt. Brittany looked around at the girls one by one till her eyes came to rest on Santana and she smirked, raising an eyebrow, asking if she was up to the challenge. Santana, never one to be outdone, smirked back even though her heart was beating erratically in her chest. Brittany moved closer as the rest were cheering, but Santana blocked them all out, her eyes only on Brittany's as the blonde moved towards her. Santana swallowed, and licked her lips, her eyes darting nervously to Brittany's lips.

Before she knew it, soft lips were being pressed against hers. Santana's eyes fluttered shut, as her mind just shut down as tingles raced through her entire body._ Damn!_ The girl knew how to kiss. Her hands rested gently on the other girl's waist. She felt Brittany's tongue, lick her lower lip and gently push against her lips. Santana parted them and angled her head so she could kiss the blonde better. She felt Brittany's hands tangle in her hair as she kissed Santana harder. She heard one of them moan, and was not really sure which of them had, as she tangled her hands in soft blonde hair. Brittany tasted of beer and chocolate and this heady taste which was pure her. Santana pressed closer trying to deepen the kiss even more, her whole body craving Brittany and her lips. Suddenly she heard someone call out something, and then laughter as Brittany moved away from her. Santana was sure she whimpered softly as her lips lost contact. She took a minute to gather herself, quite shocked with her reaction. Her whole body was tingling, feeling alive, and Santana had an urge to run or dance or jump up and down. Her lips felt tender and her breathing was erratic. Her hair was messed up from where Brittany's hands had run through it. She glanced up, Mike and Matt had their mouths hanging open, Kurt, Jess and Nikki were laughing at them gleefully, Tina was glaring at Mike as he tried to justify how hot it was. Then she made the mistake of looking at Brittany. Brittany had her hair messed up too, her eyes were dark and she looked at Santana hungrily. It made arousal shoot straight through her. Santana almost gasped at the sensation, not really sure of what exactly she was feeling.

She leaned back as the others continued playing. She zoned out their loud screams and laughter as Jess gave Matt a lapdance and Kurt opened the window to yell out that he wanted Blaine's babies. _What the fuck just happened?_ She enjoyed the kiss, there was no doubt about that, but she hadn't expected to enjoy it that much. She'd kissed plenty of people before but she'd never felt this, this connection. Her body had never reacted like that to anyone. Infact Santana was pretty sure this was the best kiss she'd ever had, a thought that both scared her and made her deliriously happy. She looked up to see Brittany watching her carefully, and she gave her a small smile, but looked down quickly. She realized Mike was tapping her arm, she looked up and noticed everyone looking at her. "It's your turn Santana. Truth or Dare?" he said. Santana didn't think she could take another dare and mumbled "Truth" instead as she took a sip of her beer. Tina moved forward quickly and looked straight at her before asking, "Are you attracted to anyone on this bus?" Santana gulped and tried not to look at Brittany. She could feel her eyes boring into her, but she refused to look, scared at what she'd find. She tried to smile and play it cool as she took a long pull of her beer. Luckily Will yelled out, "We're here" breaking up the game. Santana almost jumped out in relief. She walked over to Will and started talking to him, anything to diffuse the tension that had built up in her.

After making sure the dance crew had left, she made her way to her room and lay on her bed, her thoughts were in turmoil and she was still pretty drunk. Her phone lit up next to her head and she struggled to read the text. It was from Brittany and she was obviously still drunk too because the text read- _U taste awesome ;) _Santana gulped and turned around, as she turned off her phone. She had no idea how to reply to that. She tossed and turned as she tried to get comfortable, sleep a very distant possibility.

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**Review? Good? Bad?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for all your reviews and alerts, they keep me motivated. **

**Also this chapter was typed out in a over caffienated, sleep deprived haze, so please forgive any errors. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee**

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To say Santana was confused around the blonde was an understatement. It didn't help that Brittany acted like nothing had changed. She had watched her carefully over the next few days but the dancer behaved in the same way that she always had. She still cuddled with her, and still linked fingers, but there was nothing to suggest that she felt any differently about the brunette. The others too just put it past them and went on with the motions. It drove Santana crazy. She wanted to talk to someone, anyone about it but she didn't know whom, and she sure as hell didn't know what to say. _I kissed a girl, yeah on a dare, but I kissed a girl and I liked it way too much. I don't think anyone's ever kissed me like that, I felt...butterflies! Fuck! What was that about?! I must have been way drunker than I thought I was. Yeah that's it, I was drunk. I had to be. It was just a stupid game. But she tasted so good...wh..what? Fuck!_

She'd always liked Brittany, right from the start had felt incredibly at ease around the blonde and had quickly become friends with her. The kiss had been a game changer though, because after that she started seeing the blonde in a whole new light. Like now, as she watched silently from the doorway as Brittany danced. She moved so gracefully, and then twirled around and leaned almost all the way back. Santana admired how graceful she was, how her body moved effortlessly, how flexible she seemed, like how she'd really have no problem wrapping her legs around Santana as she fucked her senseless_...wait... What?! _She felt her face redden as she slowly backed away._ Shit! Where did that come from?_ She groaned as she realized that she was aroused. She turned away not wanting to be a creeper and walked off to take a very cold shower.

She started noticing things like that a lot more. Like on the tour bus, when Brittany would sometimes fall asleep on Santana's shoulder as they shared an ipod, and how her breath would tickle her neck giving her goosebumps, or how Britt would often grab her hand as she tried to show her something, or the one time Santana was sitting in the studio, and Brittany sat next to her and put her feet on Santana's lap, or how Santana would take notice of how strong Brittany's fingers were when the blonde would gently massage her neck after a long day. She started noticing how the blonde smelled, like the way her perfume and shampoo created this unique fragrance that belonged to only Brittany, and how when Santana would smell it, it would make her feel sort of calm. She hated to admit it, hated that the blonde was eliciting these responses in her, making her confused and angry.

Another thing that Santana loved and hated was that Brittany was a cuddler, a fact Santana picked up on when they fell asleep watching a movie together. She woke up with the blonde's arm flung around her and she tightened it mumbling adorably into her neck. Santana had never let anyone ever cuddle her in her life, except maybe her mom as a baby and she was pleasantly surprised that she enjoyed it more than she would ever admit to. Brittany ofcourse picked up on this and chose a scary movie to watch next, something that had them entwined, hiding their eyes in each other's necks and shoulders, and clinging on to each other and squealing. After that Brittany took it as her sole right to cuddle with Santana whenever they watched a movie. Something she found incredibly distracting and a little turning on. She was glad Brittany always fell asleep because there was no way she'd ever be able to answer questions about any of the movies they'd watched recently.

Sometimes she wondered whether the others noticed, or heavenforbid, Brittany noticed. She would catch herself staring at the blonde far too frequently. On the stage though she'd dance with the other dancers she was always aware of Brittany, of how her smile could literally make Santana's day. It was starting to take a toll on her. She was lashing out at the others, confused about all the feelings swirling in her. Everyone was suffering from her frequent outbursts, and Nikki had to be restrained from going after her when she called her a talentless, wannabe Naomi Campbell. One day after she had insulted Kurt for the fifth time, he screeched in frustration. "Oh my God Santana, just get laid already!" She paused, her eyebrow raised, and a dangerous glint in her eye. "What did you just say to me Ladylips?" He huffed, as he smoothed his hair, a gesture that annoyed her considerably, "You obviously need to get some, I mean isn't that why you're just so fucking cranky? I mean you can't have been PMSing all this time. So go do everyone a favour and fuck someone or someone is literally going to stab you in your sleep" he said in his best bitchy tone before walking off.

_Maybe that's not the worst idea in the world, maybe it'll help take my mind off Brittany, and relax a little. _Her mind made up, she made sure she dressed with extra care for the concert that night. After the show she scoured the normal backstage crowd for likely candidates. A tall good looking guy with short brown hair stood talking to Will. She marched up to them, smirking a little when she saw a slightly alarmed look cross Will's face. "Hi, I'm Santana. I don't believe we've met." She said sultrily, putting on all the moves. Will grimaced, more than smiled and made the introductions, "Santana this is David Martinez, an old friend of mine. He was instrumental in setting up tonight's gig." David smiled politely at her. "Wow. That's cool. Hey David, why don't we celebrate tonight's show over a few drinks?" Will shook his head but kept his mouth shut when Santana shot him a signature Lopez glare, followed by a triumphant smirk when David accepted her offer. They headed to a bar, where they both had too much to drink. They stumbled into Santana's hotel room later furiously making out. Unfortunately she wasn't really feeling it, and when he climbed on top of her she seemed disinterested. _Maybe it's the alcohol. I mean this guy is a catch. Look at his abs, they're as good as Mike's, but they aren't as amazing as Brittany's though._ Her mind wandered to the blonde. _I wonder what Brittany's body feels like on top of mine. _She gasped as she felt arousal flood through her, and a moan tear from her lips, which only encouraged the guy on top of her, who slumped on to her far too soon. "That was so good baby. You're so hot!" he said with a smug grin on his face. Santana looked at him in repulsion and then asked him to leave. "What? Why? I thought this was good. I thought you liked this" he spluttered. She all but threw him out and then sat on the bed, her head in her hands. _I just threw out a really hot guy cos I can't stop thinking about a girl. Fuck I am royally screwed!_

The next day she was slightly hungover, a fact everyone took note of and made a conscious effort to stay away from her. Everyone except for Brittany. She came over and sat beside the brunette who was staring out the window, a small frown on her face. She handed her a bottle of water. "Drink this San, it'll help with your hangover." She said sweetly as she also handed her a couple of asprin. Santana grunted in response and did just that groaning as she swallowed. Brittany watched her intently. "You seem sad" she blurted out. Santana didn't look at her but replied tiredly, "I'm fine Britt. I'm just a little hungover and tired that's all." Brittany paused for a bit and then continued, "So who was the hottie who you were with last night?" Santana looked at her startled and asked, "Did you see him? How?" Brittany replied, "I was really keyed so Mike, Tina and I went dancing after the show to this club Tina knew. I saw him when I came back." Santana nodded, not really comfortable with the conversation. "Yeah he was just some guy I picked up. He uh had to leave in a hurry which is why you saw him then" Brittany smiled and winked at Santana, "Was he any good?" she asked, her tone conspirational. "He was ok I guess... look Britt.. no offence but I can't talk about this right now" Santana replied, her tone brusque. Brittany's face fell a little but she nodded and gave her shoulder a squeeze before walking off and joining the others. Santana took a deep breath and kneaded her hand over her eyes. _God why are things so damn awkward? Friends talk about this stuff right? I used to with Quinn, well I stole most of Quinn's boyfriends but well, even then it was never this weird. Is it because I thought of her, thought of being with her, thought of fucking her instead? _

Santana groaned again and took a long sip of her water. _This has to end, this weird crush or whatever it is, it's just gotta stop. _She avoided the others and made it her personal mission to flirt her way into a guy's bed almost every chance she got, but more often than not she was left dissatisfied. Even on the rare occasion that a guy did manage to get her to orgasm, she always felt like there was something missing, some void in her being, a place that no one could really reach. It started to affect her work, and Will was concerned. He had this long discussion with her where she pretended to be bored and indifferent to what he was saying but it scared her. This was her shot after all and she was screwing it up because she was moping about a drunken kiss. Will's talking to was probably exactly what Santana needed at the time. She tended to get wrapped in her own head way too easily.

She smiled as she heard the knock on her door. She let in a subdued looking Brittany who looked a little nervous. "What's wrong?" she asked the blonde puzzled when she saw her biting her lip.

"Ummm I wasn't sure what this was about" Brittany replied

"I asked you if you wanted to hang out" Santana laughed, "What did you think was gonna happen? That I was gonna cut you into little pieces and feed you to the fishes?"

Brittany looked at her terrified

"Whoa, Britt... I was totally kidding" Santana giggled.

Brittany nodded and smiled tightly, still looking a little unsure.

Santana sighed and ran her hand through her hair, "Look Britt- Britt, I'm sorry I've been such a huge pain in the ass, I...uh...had a lot on my mind, and I know I was being a bitch. Forgive me? She asked plaintively.

Brittany smiled more genuinely and moved closer, "You know you can always talk to me San. You don't need to hide away inside your head" she said as she gently ran her hand along Santana's arm.

Santana shivered lightly at her touch, _Damn...still those fucking butterflies! _"Thanks Britt" she said warmly.

Brittany suddenly lunged forward and wrapped Santana in a hug. Santana was momentarily surprised but then snuggled into the blonde's neck deeply breathing in her scent. It made her feel grounded again. She frowned and gently moved away, smiling at Brittany.

"Kung Fu Panda?" she asked holding up a dvd and laughing as Brittany squealed in excitement and jumped on the bed. They were midway through the movie, actually Santana had no fucking idea what was happening because Brittany was drawing gentle patterns on her arm down to her hand, and Santana was trying to control her raggedy breathing. "Who's your favourite character?" Brittany suddenly asked. Santana shrugged, "Tigress I guess" picking the most badass one of the lot. Frankly she thought the whole bunch of them were pretty silly and she was still confused as to what a damn insect was even doing in that crew.

Brittany giggled, "Of course she is"

Santana arched an eyebrow, "Whatever do you mean?" she said in a mock angry tone but her eyes sparkled playfully

"Just that you would identify most with her, you know" Brittany said.

Santana still looked confused so Brittany continued patiently. "Well tigress is all like badass but she has like a soul you know, but she can't show it, because she can't show she's weak cos she's scared of what people will think of her. So even though she's all soft inside, outside she has this hard shell or coat..actually her coat looks soft.. I mean she's like all hard but soft and orange.." Brittany finished looking confused.

Santana was startled that Brittany's analysis of the cartoon and her was pretty spot on so she decided to draw attention away from it by tickling her mercilessly and saying, "Are you calling me soft, Pierce?"

Brittany squealed and rolled around trying to get Santana to stop tickling her and Santana laughed at the blonde squirming away till Brittany flipped them over and pinned Santana to the bed. Her panting was making her chest heave and her hair was dishevelled. Her strong arms held Santana's and her thighs pinned the rest of Santana's body to the bed as she sat on top of her. All the previous playfulness in the room was replaced by electricity, literally buzzing around them. Santana's gaze fell the Brittany's lips, and she leaned forward a little. Brittany's blue eyes were hooded, coloured by what looked like lust. She leaned forward slowly toward Santana and gently joined their lips. Santana closed her eyes as Brittany gently sucked at her upper lip, drawing her tongue over it. She struggled to move her hands and Brittany let them go choosing instead to cup her face. Santana's hands ran through soft blonde hair as Brittany deepened the kiss, their tongues coming into play softly battling with each other.

A phone ringing broke the two out of their trance, and Brittany reached over and answered climbing off a flustered Santana in the process. She mouthed "I'm sorry" and walked to the balcony to continue the call. Santana ran her finger softly over her bruised lips and struggled to get her breathing back to normal. She was sure of two things. One, that Brittany kissed better than anybody else she'd ever kissed; and two, she was in deep, deep trouble.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much for your reviews and alerts, they urge me to write quicker**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee**

* * *

It had been two days... two long fucking days since she and Brittany had kissed and it was all Santana could think about. Her soft lips, the quiet moans she made, how there were tingles all over her body. She felt like she should be feeling guilty but she didn't , how could she, when it was pretty much the most amazing thing she'd experienced. She'd never had this...reaction to a boy. A boy didn't feel that soft, a boy didn't kiss that gently, reverently, like she was made of glass. A boy didn't smell like Brittany did. Her head was a mess, and she kept trying to divert her thoughts, focus on her set lists, but by this stage in the tour everything was pretty mechanical. Jesse would not approve of any changes in her set and by now Santana was pretty sure she could sing the songs in her sleep. She was getting annoyed with the amount of control Jesse exercised over her, calling Tina everyday to check that she didn't do anything stupid, and Tina had to literally pass everything through her pigheaded boss.

They were travelling again, the lights were out and with the exception of Mike who was watching something on his laptop everyone else was asleep. Will came over and sat down beside her, "How do you like the tour so far Santana?" he asked genially. Actually Will was always happy, Santana could never understand why, and it annoyed her tremendously.

"It's been ok I guess" she shrugged

Will smiled and shook his head, he knew how much this meant to Santana, how hard they had worked for this. "I've been speaking to Jesse, he and I both think maybe when we get back you start working on your second album" he said and watched her for a reaction

Santana grinned, "I could be down with that" she said, her casual tone belied by the spark in her eyes.

Will grinned widely and continued, "He's already chalking out basic promotion, he's also got a good songwriting team to work with you. We'll do better this time, with the tour and the right publicity, you'll definitely make the charts"

Santana's grin dropped, "Will, as much as I appreciate everything you've done for me, I need to say this. This current sound doesn't really work for me, I've been thinking maybe some light jazz or blues with a bit of a pop influence will sound better you know. Some of these songs...I just don't feel them, and it reflects on stage. Maybe you could talk to Jesse and I could I dunno help with the song writing or maybe tell them what I want and use that on the new album" she said quietly

Will looked serious, "I don't know how he'll take that. Why didn't you tell me this sooner Santana?" he asked earnestly.

"Honestly, I was just so desperate to be recognized that I took whatever I got, but now I want to be recognized for the talent I have and not just cos I prance around on stage, my music needs depth and emotion and... soul. I'd rather have all of me on an album and have it tank than have some fake version wanna be pop diva version of myself and be a one hit wonder that everyone loves to hate" she said earnestly

Will nodded, "I'll see what I can do" he said and squeezed her shoulder as he got up.

Santana smiled to herself as she thought about the possibilities, she was building up a fanbase with this tour. She'd try and mingle with the crowds whenever she got a chance and the audience lapped it up. The dancers backed her up perfectly and she was always grateful that she could improvise and they would just go along, no questions asked. She looked over at Brittany who was fast asleep across from her. The blonde was curled up adorably and had her hands tucked underneath her chin. Santana leaned over and pulled a hoodie that was lying over the seat and covered her with it. Brittany shifted and muttered in her sleep making Santana smile again. _How much adorable can fit in one body...Dammit she's just a friend, stop thinking like that. _She reached down and kissed Brittany's forehead quickly and went back to her seat and closed her eyes, willing sleep to come so she could stop thinking about blonde hair and blue eyes.

Jesse didn't take too kindly to Santana's suggestions, in fact he had Tina put him on speakerphone so that he could explain to Will and her exactly how he got to where he was and how he called the shots. He then went into great detail about focus groups and rating predictions and brand management, whatever that meant and by the end of it Santana was bored out of her mind and Will looked exhausted. "And finally any decision or comment must be passed through my assistant to me, understood?" Jesse said pompously and hung up.

Santana ran her hands through her hair, frustrated. "Why does he keep referring to you as his assistant?" she asked Tina

Tina gave her a dirty look, "Maybe because that is who I am" she answered testily

"No, like he always says my assistant this and my assistant that, doesn't he like remember your name? Maybe that goth vampire thing you got going doesn't work for you. " Santana said with a smirk hoping to goad her. Tina just glared at her and was about to retort when Brittany walked in, "Oh sorry, I thought you guys were done, I saw Will leave" she said, her eyes vacillating between the two.

"We're done here" Tina said with a glare as she stalked off making Santana smirk even harder.

Brittany looked at Santana reproachfully, "Why do you pick on her?" she asked quietly coming to stand by her. Santana shrugged, "Cos I'm bored and this is fun" she said petulantly. Brittany smiled and leaned over, "I know something we could do that could be fun" she whispered in Santana's ear making her gulp. _Say no. This isn't right, God she can't just say stuff like that._

Ten minutes later their bodies were entwined as they lay on the sofa making out furiously. Brittany kissed down Santana's neck flicking the tip of her tongue out now and then making Santana gasp. _What are we doing? Anyone could walk in right now, we could get caught and people will think I'm a... fuck! How is she even doing that? That tongue of hers is so damn talented, I wonder what else it can do...fuck!_ Santana gently pushed Brittany off her and sat up. Brittany sat up too and slid closer and laid her head on Santana's shoulder. Santana was so confused as to what was happening that she didn't even know where to start. Brittany reached over and started playing with Santana's fingers smiling to herself, making Santana feel worse. _I'm making out with a girl, not just any girl, my friend, someone I barely know in the middle of one of the most important times of my life. I can't do this... I shouldn't do this. _She stood up suddenly almost dislodging Brittany in the process. "I.. uh.. I gotta go find Will" she said and made a run for it.

Brittany was never good at school. She didn't get academics and structure. Sometimes Brittany thought that the only things she was good at was dancing and making friends. She was interested in people and their stories, even going so far as to alter their stories in her head to make them more interesting. She'd briefly entertained the idea of becoming a journalist when she was younger but gave it up when she realized that she'd have to go to college. But Brittany knew people, she had an innate ability to be able to get a read on a person, even though she could never explain it to anyone. She also knew that Santana was stubborn, guarded and very very scared. Brittany tried really hard to figure the girl out but it was difficult. Santana's walls were tall and strong and didn't let anyone in. She found her fascinating, appreciating her talent and her strength. Tina didn't like her very much, she had a tendency to be a little mean to her but she was never mean to Brittany. Sometimes Brittany thought Santana was a different person around her, like maybe the walls would come down just a little bit and she'd catch a glimpse of the awesome person hiding behind them. She'd once told Tina this and Tina told her that Santana was nothing but a grade A bitch and Brittany was too nice a girl to be around her. Brittany just stopped telling Tina about Santana.

Sometimes Brittany thought Santana liked her like the times she would stand up for her if anyone made fun of her or if she said something people thought was weird, or when they'd kiss, but sometimes Santana would just clam up and go into a shell and there was nothing Brittany could do to get her to talk. They'd kissed a few times, but Santana always left, hiding her feelings behind a mask of indifference. She would look guilty, and Brittany sometimes wondered why she would let her kiss her, she wanted to make her feel better, kiss away all her fears, all her pain and worry, but Santana would never let her. When it came to her feelings, Santana would just not talk about them, Brittany was puzzled, she felt drawn to Santana and wanted to get to know her better. She had a feeling that this girl could change her life.

* * *

"Hey" Brittany chirped, the next day as she skipped to where Santana was sitting with Will and some of the musicians going over the set list for that night. Santana immediately looked up at her with a smile. "Hey Britt" she replied. Brittany looked around and smiled at the others and then asked her if she could speak to her for a minute. Santana nodded and got up, walking outside to the hallway.

"What's going on? Is everything ok?" she asked.

Brittany nodded and said, "So we have some free time tomorrow and I don't think we should waste it. What do you say we make an evening of it?"

Santana looked a little thoughtful. "Umm okaaay. What did you have in mind? I think I'll need to clear it with Will."

Brittany's smile widened as she said, "Oh I already did. He said you should take some time off, he just warned me to not let you drink tequila, but wouldn't tell me why. Wait, why did he say that? What happens when you drink tequila?" she asked.

Santana's eyes widened," Nothing happens, and Will needs to learn to keep his mouth shut before his beer fuelled drunken calls become public knowledge" she snarled

Brittany nodded sagely and deadpanned, "I take my clothes off and dance on tables when I drink tequila."

Santana just gulped as she tried desperately to get a half naked image of Brittany out of her head. She tried to speak but her throat was too dry, so she swallowed and tried again, "So where are we going?" she asked hoarsely.

Brittany just smiled as she bopped her nose. "That's a surprise silly. Be ready at 7 tomorrow and wear something casual." Santana could just stand there with her dopey smile firmly in place as she watched Brittany skip off.

The next day Santana was nervous as she waited for Brittany. She looked at her reflection for the hundredth time as she paced. The knock on the door made her jump but she took a deep breath and opened it as Brittany stood outside. She noticed the blonde look at her skinny jeans and v neck top with approval, and Santana mentally patted herself on the back. She hardly ever wore stuff like this. Most of her outfits were dressy and sexy, and more suited to a nightclub or a fancy restaurant. Brittany in true Brittany fashion had on jean shorts, a loose tunic top and some sort of hat that on anyone else would have looked ridiculous, but on Brittany looked all sorts of adorable. Santana smiled warmly at her and said, "You look nice." Brittany smiled right back and replied, "So do you. Are you ready to go?" Santana nodded and followed her out into the warm summer air.

A short taxi ride later they stood at the entrance to a carnival near the pier. Santana looked dubiously at the fairground with its bright lights and loud noises. "Are we seriously going here?" she asked skeptically. She turned to Brittany who looked like well, a kid at a carnival.

"Yeah. Carnivals are awesome, there are rides and games and we can get hot dogs and cotton candy. It's perfect." Brittany answered excitedly.

Santana grinned because she agreed. Brittany was perfect, she made everything alright. Her thoughts were interrupted by Brittany as she dragged her to the entrance and paid the fare. They walked around, just content to be with each other and sharing cotton candy. Brittany then stopped in front of a ticket booth for a rollercoaster, telling her to prepare for the ride of her life, to which Santana just raised her eyebrow suggestively and smirked. Brittany laughed and swatted her on the arm. They sat in the rollercoaster and screamed their way through the ride. At some point Santana gripped Brittany's hand tightly and had buried her face in the blonde's shoulder. When the ride ended, both got off on an adrenaline high, holding on to each other and giggling like teenagers. Brittany pulled Santana into an instant photo booth and they posed for the camera, pulling funny faces and pouts. They then decided to get on the Ferris wheel and held hands again as they reached the top. The view was beautiful and Santana wanted this image in her mind forever, of them at the top of the Ferris wheel and Brittany's happy face and sparkling eyes.

After they were done they got some food and wine at a little cafe. Santana bought another bottle of wine that they shared as they walked down the pier. The waves lapped gently, blending with the sound of the carnival making the mood light and free. Santana couldn't remember when she last had so much fun. They reached the end and sat down, dangling their feet off the edge, passing the bottle back and forth. Brittany rested her head on Santana's shoulder.

"You tired?" Santana asked in concern.

"I'm ok. This is nice." Brittany replied. Santana nodded in agreement.

"Hey Britt"

Brittany looked up. Santana looked into her beautiful blue eyes as she saw the bright lights reflected in them. She felt so strongly for this girl, she didn't know what to say. Like words could never do justice to her feelings. She swallowed and continued, "Thank you, for this. I really don't remember when I had so much fun."

Brittany looked at her seriously and said, "You've been working really hard, we all have, and I thought we needed a break. You know just relax and have some fun without worrying about shows or the label and stuff."

Santana nodded in agreement and then they were quiet once again. Santana enjoyed these comfortable silences. She turned to Brittany again and confessed, "I guess I have been pushing myself of late and a break is good. It's nice to just be me for once. And I'm glad I had you to share it with."

Brittany smiled as she reached out to tuck a strand of Santana's hair behind her ear after which she gently cupped her cheek. Santana felt her breath hitch. She looked down at Brittany's lips, then up into her eyes. Brittany just looked back at her, but Santana didn't miss the way her gaze dropped to Santana's lips for the tiniest second. She started feeling very warm suddenly. She really wanted to kiss her. Every part of her body screamed for her to do just that. So she did. She leaned in and gently pressed her lips against Brittany's. The blonde seemed surprised at first, but she smiled into the kiss and responded. Their lips moved against each other softly as Santana gently held Brittany's face. It was like time stood still as they kissed revelling in each other.

* * *

They stumbled into the room, their drunkenness evident, kissing furiously. The kiss on the pier had led to many more till Brittany suggested they head back. Now Santana ran her fingers through soft blonde hair as she kissed the dancer with an abandon. Brittany kissed her back equally hard, nipping her bottom lip a little making Santana growl in pleasure. Some part of her brain was screaming at her, asking her what the fuck she was doing but she ignored it, too caught up in the heady mixture of wine and Brittany's kisses.

Brittany ran her tongue along Santana's bottom lip making the latina groan in pleasure. Never had someone reduced her to this state of absolute want with just kisses, and Brittany was a really good kisser. She moved down Santana's neck placing open mouthed sloppy kisses all the way down making Santana pant. She twined her hands in Brittany's hair egging her on. Not being able to take it anymore she grabbed at the hem of Brittany's top, her intent obvious. The blonde paused and looked at her questioningly, "Are you sure you want this Santana?" she asked a little breathlessly. Her breathy tone just aroused Santana even more. "I don't want to think Britt" she replied as she tried to clumsily pull it off almost toppling over a giggling Brittany in the process. "San.. Watch out, I can't quite keep my balance" she giggled drunkenly as she pulled off her top followed quickly by her shorts leaving her in just her underwear. Santana's mouth went dry as she just stared. She'd seen the blonde's legs before but those boobs and those abs! _This may just be the most perfect thing I've seen_! But she didn't say anything, just went back to kissing the blonde, delighting in her small gasps of pleasure. Brittany arched her neck so Santana had better access whimpering slightly when she bit down near her collarbone.

She pressed her body to Santana's suddenly making them both topple over on to the bed. "Sorry," she giggled "I just really want to feel you against me". Santana didn't reply, wasn't sure what to say as she ran a fingernail over Brittany's abs, watching the blonde shiver and the abs contract. It made her want to lick them. She felt Brittany's hand under her shirt grazing her back, going higher till she was at the clasp of her bra. She looked up at the blonde's questioning stare. She gulped and nodded quickly, moving away to pull off her top and jeans. She noticed Brittany had a wet patch visible on her pink underwear. Suddenly she was tearing at Brittany's panties, the blonde gasping in surprise but then helping her out, pulling off her bra too till she was gloriously naked in front of Santana. Santana rose above her and started to kiss her again, her thigh coming to settle between the blonde's legs due to her position. She felt the blonde's wetness on her thigh, only making her even more aroused. Brittany moaned into Santana's kiss as her hand groped the blonde's left breast. She reached over and removed Santana's bra too so that they could feel each other's bare skin. Santana was amazed at how good that felt. She kissed her way down to the blonde's breast when she felt Brittany arch beneath her, her nails digging into her lower back. She continued kissing and licking, until she felt Brittany's fingers slip into her panties and run along her wet heat. Santana lost all coherent thought. "Take these off and lie back" Brittany whispered huskily into her ear and Santana complied.

The blonde climbed on top of her and ran her fingers over her heat, gently pinching her clit causing Santana to jerk in pleasure. She was so wet that she was certain it wouldn't take her too long. Brittany gently pushed one finger inside her pumping in and out, while her thumb settled on Santana's clit. Santana moaned loudly at the pleasure coursing through her system. Brittany increased the pace adding another finger and curling them, making Santana thrust her hips to match the thrusts of her finger, her pace frantic. She was vaguely aware that Brittany was rubbing herself on her leg, all her attention on the build up of her imminent orgasm. She moaned loudly, so loud that she was sure someone had heard, as she came; Brittany seeming to follow shortly after, judging by the erratic thrusts against her leg. The blonde brought her down slowly and withdrew just as gently. Santana just lay there spent. Never in her life had she come so hard. She turned to look at Brittany who was stretched out beside her, a happy smile on her face. _What the fuck did I just do? _

* * *

**A/N: My stories are unbeta'd and so I apologize for any errors. **

**On an unrelated note, I still can't get over the news of Cory, he was never a favourite character but still, the show wont really be the same. RIP. **

**If you need to talk to someone, even a stranger, please inbox me, I'll be glad to help, you don't have to go through things alone. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Here you go guys, next chapter**

**I apologize for any mistakes since I wrote this in a super sleep deprived state**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee **

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Santana lay in bed, the blonde sleeping next to her, lying on her side, her hands tucked under her chin. Santana hardly slept, couldn't sleep after what had happened. _I am so fucking screwed. I slept with Brittany, with a freaking girl, who I have to spend the next few weeks with. Will is going to kill me. Oh God! Jesse can NEVER find out. I don't even know if I like girls, I mean sure I like Britt, she's awesome, but we were drunk. Yeah that was it, we were drunk and I was horny and acting like an idiot. This tour is really messing with my head._

She got up, dressed quickly and left. She walked down the road to a coffee shop and bought herself some coffee. She must have been there a long time, lost in her thoughts. She felt guilty and nervous. She groaned burying her head in her hands. _What a phenomenal fuck up! _She literally had no idea what to do. She'd had one night stands, hell she pretty much only had one night stands but this, this was different. This involved a really nice girl whom Santana cared about. She didn't want to hurt her but at the same time she couldn't face her. _What do I even say to her? And I was the one that kissed her on the pier. Shit! What if she tells the others? This was a mistake. I can't be sleeping around with Brittany. She's my friend, friends don't do this shit. I gotta make this right. _

She didn't know how long she sat there on a tiny table outside a cafe as people hurried all around her. It was like a scene from a movie she thought as she sat stock still while everyone else was moving around at warp speed. She didn't have her phone with her, had left it in her hurry to get away in the morning. Finally she thought she should move. She'd been sitting there for hours, her coffee only half drunk and now ice cold. She dragged herself out of the chair and slowly made her way back to the hotel. She saw Will walking around frantically outside, his ear glued to his phone and he seemed to be yelling into it. The others were all huddled outside around the bus. Santana looked confused, her eyes searching for the blonde without meaning to. _Has something happened? Where the hell is Brittany? Fuck! Is she ok? I'll never forgive myself if something happens to her._ Will had now seen her and marched over to her. He looked mad, and relieved at the same time.

"Where the hell have you been Santana?" he yelled

She looked at him in surprise. Will hardly ever yelled, no matter how much she'd tormented him. "I went to get coffee. Why? What the hell happened?" she asked

"We thought something happened to you. You didn't have your phone, didn't take your purse. I.. didn't know. No one saw you leave. You can't just run off like this!" he continued yelling, his eyes wide and his face red.

"I went to get some coffee and I lost track of time ok. I had some money on me so I didn't carry my purse and I forgot my phone. Can we leave now that we've dispensed with all the drama?" she said slowly.

Will looked at her, his face turning slightly disgusted, "You really need to grow up Santana. This whole thing is not about you, it's about these guys too and their jobs and mine. Stop being so damn selfish" he said in a soft revolted tone

She looked at Will amazed. He had NEVER spoken to her like that. She set her lips in a tight line and nodded curtly, before climbing on the bus. Will sighed at her retreating back, knowing her well enough by now to know he'd hurt her. He rubbed his hand over his face tiredly before telling the rest to get on the bus too. Brittany sidled up to him, "That wasn't very nice" she said softly. Will looked at her surprised. He hadn't really ever spoken to the blonde before. "Well she needed it, she needs someone to tell her to get over herself" he said a little more brusquely than intended. Brittany smiled and said, "It's ok to be worried about her Will. She is your client after all. It's ok to care. Maybe next time you could not yell as much, cause yelling makes fairies die...or was it clapping? I'm not sure but you don't want dead fairies, do you? She asked earnestly. Will's mouth hung open not sure how to reply to that before he snapped it shut and nodded, motioning for her to get on the bus.

Brittany got on followed by Will. "I put your stuff in, your purse and phone are over there" she told Santana softly pointing to the back. Santana nodded, her gaze distant as she stared out the window. Brittany looked disappointed but then squeezed her shoulder before walking by. Will sat next to Santana and sighed heavily. "Look Santana I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. You just got me a little worried and I panicked. I mean you are my responsibility after all." He said trying to placate her. She got up and made her way to the back of her bus, where she sat alone fiddling around with her phone. Will looked at Brittany in defeat, his gaze asking what he should do. Brittany shrugged and mouthed, "Leave her alone" and Will did, suddenly wondering when Brittany had become such an expert on Santana.

Santana avoided almost everyone that day, the others left her alone on Brittany's instructions. The dancers were a little tired and most of them slept through the journey. Santana sat staring out the window lost in her thoughts. She could feel Brittany's intense blue gaze on her, but she couldn't look at her, couldn't acknowledge what had happened. It was just too much.

* * *

Santana had continued avoiding Brittany, brushing off the blonde or making excuses several times so far. After the show, Brittany had had enough, and cornered Santana in her dressing room. She barked at Jess and Matt to leave them alone and if Santana wasn't so damn nervous she'd find it really hot.

"Santana, why have you been avoiding me?" she asked her angrily

"I..uh.. haven't. I've just been busy" Santana said defensively

"Don't give me that bullshit Santana. You've been avoiding me. Is it because we slept together? Are you regretting it?" she asked, hurt evident in her voice

Santana took a deep breath calming herself down, "Britt, listen to me. We're friends, and friends don't do that stuff" she explained.

Brittany looked surprised, "But you didn't seem to mind when we were kissing. Was it not good for you?" she asked

_No it was perfect, the best I've ever had. Shit! I can't say that. _"It's just... we were drinking and we did something stupid ok" Santana said, averting her gaze

Brittany looked confused at her, "It isn't a bad thing, Santana. I like making out with you, I like kissing you and I like the little whimpers you make" she said, her tone slightly upset.

_Oh fuck. Why does she say shit like this? _Santana looked at her pleadingly, "We can't do this Brittany. We were drunk and made a mistake. It happens but it can't happen again." She said raising her voice a little.

"Don't you like me Santana?" she asked sadly, her lower lip coming out in a pout.

Santana groaned, "Of course I like you. I like you as a friend. In fact you're probably the best friend I've ever had. But I'm... I'm not gay Britt"

"Why do you need to put a label on it? We were just having fun." Brittany pondered.

Santana furrowed her brows, "Britt, I do care about you, but understand when I say this- This cannot happen again!" she said firmly emphasizing every word

She saw Brittany's face fall a little, saw the hurt swim in the unshed tears in the blonde's blue eyes, saw her shoulders slump a tiny bit in defeat and hated herself. Brittany nodded and muttered that she had to go, leaving Santana standing alone in her tiny makeup room.

* * *

"Is everything ok Satan? You seem a little blue" Kurt asked nonchalantly as he sat down by the Latina. Santana merely grunted in reply, not bothered to explain. Brittany looked like a kicked puppy when she spoke to her, and had been keeping away from the singer, and Santana missed her. She felt like a bitch, but she couldn't, **couldn't** risk everything she worked for. Will, Jesse, they were all banking on her to succeed and she was feeling the pressure, one wrong move and it would all fall to dust. She'd seen enough tv and read enough magazines to know how fickle careers in the music business were. Besides, she wasn't gay, she liked guys, ok not as much as she was supposed to, and she mainly used them for sex, but she wasn't gay, and Brittany was just... she was just too innocent to know what she was doing. Santana had to protect them from all the crap that the world would throw at her.

She sighed and ran her fingers in her hair. Kurt looked at her critically, then said, "You know there's this cute bar really close by, why don't the two of us go get a couple of drinks? He asked with a smile. Santana lifted her head immediately, alcohol would definitely help get her mind off of things right now. She grinned and said, "Well Lady, I gotta say, every now and then you absolutely astound me with your good ideas" Kurt just rolled his eyes and stood up offering his arm to the Latina.

A few hours later Kurt looked aghast as Santana made out furiously with some random guy. She'd been doing this for the past hour, picking up a guy, dancing with him, making out and then shrugging them off with a disgusted look muttering "no me gusta". He sighed as she repeated the pattern with the current guy who looked more than a little disgruntled and came back over to the bar where Kurt was nursing his drink. "Yo, gimme a shot" she slurred waving her money at the flustered bartender. Kurt figured she'd had enough, and shook his head at the bartender who quickly scuttled away. "What the fuck? Where does that little rat think he's going? Hey Rodent! Get back here!" she yelled. Kurt rolled his eyes and grabbed her arm, "Santana, I think it's time we leave. You've had enough" he said gently. "Whoa, who died and made you my mother? I wants to gets my drink on" she said and turned back to the bar. "Look stop, please, or you're gonna do something you'll regret and I can't stand by and let that happen" he said desperately trying to pull her away. He was understandably surprised when she turned to him with her eyes full of tears and said, "Well I already have". "Uhh... what... what are you talking about?" he stuttered a little wary of her sudden change in demeanor. He was also unprepared for her to grab hold of his shirt and look him in the eye while saying "I'm a horrible person, aren't I" she said, shaking her head. Kurt looked at her bewildered, "Huh?"

"I suck" was her intelligent reply before she burst into tears.

"Whoa, Santana, what the hell. Calm down! Why are you crying?" he shrieked as he held on to her while trying to flag a cab.

"I am a really bad person. I don't deserve anything, not all this fame and those nice but slightly creepy fans that send me teddy bears that I'm convinced have spy cams in so I give them away. I am a bitch to all of you. You guys don't even like me." She sobbed into his shirt as he awkwardly patted her head while pulling out his phone to send a text message.

She whimpered all the way till they pulled up in front of the building. Kurt paid the taxi driver and turned to the waiting woman. "She just won't stop crying. I don't know what to do" he explained helplessly as Santana held on to him.

Brittany bent forward and gently tugged at the Latina's arm. "Hey San. Let go of Kurt. C'mon, let's get you to bed ok" she said softly.

Santana stopped crying and threw herself into Brittany's arms. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm such a bitch. I just don't understand" she blubbered into the blonde's shoulder as Brittany made shushing noises and hugged her.

"Why don't we worry about that tomorrow ok. Let's just go to bed now" she whispered as she led her towards her room waving goodnight to a freaked out looking Kurt.

"Where're your keys San?" she asked as Santana held out her purse. She opened the door and helped Santana get into bed, taking off her shoes. She tucked her in and the Latina held her hand. "Stay with me Brit?" she asked in a child-like tone. "Please"

Brittany nodded and climbed in next to her. Santana immediately scooted closer and snuggled against her neck. "Mmm.. Have I told you I love the way you smell?" she said dragging her nose against the side of Brittany's throat, chuckling as she heard Brittany's breath catch. "Like it is one of the best things in the world, well that and how you taste. You taste so good." She said sticking out the tip of her tongue to lick Brittany's lower lip.

"Santana" Brittany warned and pushed her away gently.

Santana giggled again, but her giggles turned to whimpers, "You hate me right? You hate me for being a bitch? I don't deserve you" she cried softly. Brittany sighed and took Santana's face in her hands. "I don't hate you Santana. I can't hate you" she said softly wiping away her tears with her thumbs. Santana's gaze flickered to Brittany's lips. "I want to kiss you" she admitted, her eyes sombre "Please kiss me Britt, please" she whispered. Brittany smiled and complied, her lips grazing Santana's gently. Santana opened her eyes slowly, looking almost dazed. "Has anyone ever told you, you're like an awesome kisser?" she said reverently running her finger over her lower lip. Brittany grinned bashfully, as Santana snuggled into her neck again. "Thank you Britt" she mumbled. She was asleep before she heard Brittany's whispered reply, "Anything for you San"

* * *

Santana stirred, it was early, still dark out. She felt something restraining her, hampering her ability to move. She opened her eyes, her vision bleary, her mouth parched, the alcohol leaving her system. She saw a pale arm wrapped around her tight. A brief moment of panic ensued, as she frantically tried to remember what happened last night. She turned partially to see a mess of blonde hair obscuring the person's face. Suddenly it all came back, as she sighed in relief. _Brittany! Wait why is she in bed with me? Did we..? Not again? _Santana looked down to see herself fully clothed, and breathed another sigh of relief. She still wasn't entirely sure of what happened last night. Her mouth was dry and her head starting to pound. She got up and walked unsteadily to the mini fridge and pulled out some water. She gulped down almost the entire bottle as she sat on an armchair by the window. She remembered asking Brittany to stay, wanting her to be with her. She groaned, holding her head in her hands. It seemed like she and Brittany weren't destined to be the normal kind of friends. Or whatever passed for normal anyway. She always wanted to link their arms, give each other back rubs, cuddle and just touch each other. She'd never given it much thought, didn't want to now because she was afraid of what she'd find.

She was pulled from her thoughts when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. "San?" the blonde whispered. "Is everything ok?" Santana lifted her head from her hands to see Brittany leaning over her, her golden hair beginning to glint in the reddish sunlight from the window. "Yeah. I just needed some water" she answered, holding up the near empty bottle. "Come back to bed" Brittany whispered pulling her. Santana followed, willingly, too willingly. They got under the covers and Brittany lay there staring at her. She reached forward and tucked a piece of hair behind Santana's ear. "Thanks for taking care of me last night" Santana said. Brittany smiled. "Thanks for staying with me" she added softly, noting the huge smile the blonde was wearing. She moved closer until they were practically nose to nose. But she couldn't do it. She wanted so badly to just kiss her. Her eyes fluttered downwards to the dancer's lips. She gritted her teeth in frustration, but slowly moved away. Brittany just watched her, not saying a word. She put distance between them and then said tiredly, "We should sleep. We have a show tonight" as she turned to face the other side. A few seconds later she heard a slight shuffling and a long arm draped over her side. She tried not to, really she did but she couldn't stop the small smile that crept on to her face.

A few days later they were staying the night after the show, which meant an after party of sorts had been arranged at a nearby club. Santana was going easy on the alcohol tonight, she sat at the bar, having lost the others a long time ago. She briefly spotted Jess and Matt making out on the dance floor but the club was pretty crowded and she lost them again. She wondered whether she should leave, but a shriek sounded somewhere to her left. She turned, startled and caught sight of a group of five-six young girls. "Oh God, you're Santana Lopez. We're like such big fans. We were literally just at your show watching you on stage." One of them screamed excitedly. "We totally have to take a picture girls, Tammi, gimme your phone" another one ordered, and they piled around Santana, posing for pictures and chattering excitedly. Then they had the bright idea to do shots with her, which was around the time Brittany came over. "Hey" she said to Santana as she ran her hand up her arm "You ok? I didn't see you around" she said softly. The excited girls had now latched on to Brittany and demanded she do a round of shots with them as well. After that, a comfortable buzz had settled in Santana's body. She felt wired, alive. The sycophantic girls pulled the two of them on to the dance floor and pretty soon Santana lost herself to the beat. The girls had to go after awhile and after many hugs and even more earth shattering screams they left, leaving Santana and Brittany on the dance floor. Brittany was still moving to the music, lost in her own little world and Santana joined her. Maybe it was the alcohol again, or just the thrill of being noticed or the bright, electrifying atmosphere of the club, whatever it was Santana didn't object when Brittany put her hands on her waist and pulled her closer, making her move along with her, both of them one against the thumping rhythm.

Santana closed her eyes enjoying this way too much, till she felt Brittany's breath against her ear. Goosebumps erupted over her flesh, and she moaned softly. Brittany took this as a sign to ghost feather kisses from her ear down to her neck, so soft that Santana could barely feel them. She sighed moving closer, wanting more. Their bodies were pressed together in the most delicious way and Santana had difficulty in keeping her breath normal, she wanted Brittany so damn much that she literally couldn't give a fuck where she was. She leaned back into the blonde, moaning again as she nuzzled into her neck, her left hand running up and down the blonde's muscular thigh, higher and higher everytime until Brittany stopped it. Santana pouted, unhappy that she wasn't getting what she wanted. Her knees almost buckled when she felt the tip of Brittany's tongue graze against her ear. "Not here" she heard her whisper. She pulled away and turned to face Brittany's dark eyes. She shivered at the look the blonde was giving her. "Not here" Brittany repeated tugging at her hand, as she pulled her outside and back to the hotel.

Santana arched against Brittany, moaning in pleasure as the blonde's expert fingers worked her up again. They had come back to the room and wasted no time in attacking each other. Clothes and shoes lay flung all over the place and the room filled with needy pants and gasps. Santana reached down and cupped Brittany's centre, her fingers meeting with the blonde's arousal. "Fuck, you're so wet" she panted, her eyes almost rolling back in pleasure. "You make me like that Santana, so wet" she replied, gasping in pleasure as Santana started to gently part her folds and run her fingers through them, moaning slightly when she found her clit. She was so turned on that she would probably come sooner than San, so she increased her pace, making Santana's hand falter and her moans grow louder. "Fuck.. Right there...fuck.. I'm close...I..." Santana panted as her orgasm hit, making her body shudder violently and her toes curl. Brittany gently kissed her shoulder as she brought her down. Santana lay on her back as Brittany peppered kisses up and down the side of her jaw.

She waited till she caught her breath and turned to Brittany. "Your turn" she said sultrily as she straddled her watching the blonde gulp in excitement. She kissed her way down the blonde's chest to her stomach, nipping her abs, running her tongue over her bellybutton. She paused and looked at Brittany who was writhing under her, her need evident. "I'm not... I mean.. I haven't ever..."she confessed looking a little intimidated. Brittany immediately sat up and cradled her face, "Don't worry too much. I'm sure I'll like whatever you do. Just think of how you touch yourself and follow that" she said reassuringly as she leaned forward and pecked her lips. Santana's face flushed, but she lunged forward and took Brittany's mouth in hers, licking her bottom lip. They kissed each other hard, all teeth and tongues and need, as Santana's hand made its way back down Brittany's body to her wet, hot core. She swallowed Brittany's moan of pleasure as she tentatively ran a finger through her wet folds, pausing at her swollen nub. She gently circled it, watching the blonde writhe underneath her, almost crying out in need. But Brittany didn't force her to do anything, didn't say anything except for making soft cries of pleasure. Santana pushed in two fingers and pumped, noting that the blonde's hips thrust in response signalling that she was doing the right thing. She didn't stop till Brittany was crying out in pleasure as her own orgasm overtook her. She collapsed against Santana in exhaustion, her sweaty hair matted to her forehead and a few minutes later both were blissfully asleep.

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**Review please? Good? Bad? Mediocre? :P **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in awhile. RL has me very busy right now, also I only will be able to update in 2 weeks because I have a couple of exams coming up. Thank you so much for your continued support. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. **

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"Brittany, I need your help with something" Santana called out to Brittany who was mingling with the other dancers. The blonde looked into the singer's eyes and knew exactly what she was talking about. She got up gracefully and stretched, her short top riding up offering the Latina a nice view of her toned stomach and abs, Santana's eyes slowly raked up over the dancer's body till they reached the blonde's smirk. Brittany then stalked over to her and they walked off casually. Once they rounded the corner Santana quickly pulled them into a small unused room and locked the door. "We're gonna have to be quiet" she whispered as she started kissing down Brittany's neck, her fingers moving downwards...

Santana fixed her hair as she made her way out of the room. As usual she felt ashamed and guilty. A part of her hated doing this to Brittany, but she felt she had no other alternative. She was drawn to the dancer, and the sex, well it was definitely far more satisfying with her than with any guy she had ever been with. She sighed as her usual justifications ran through her head- She needed sex and Brittany was there. That was all, no strings. It didn't make her a lesbian, this was just...convenient. They didn't speak of what they were doing, didn't label it or define it. They were just having fun as Brittany put it. Santana rationalized it as a form of stress relief, or on other days just two friends helping each other out. She would shut Brittany down when she tried to talk about feelings. The only pillow talk she allowed was the dirty kind. They became more comfortable with each other in bed, with each other's likes and wants, not needing words to communicate anymore. The tour was nearing its end and the pressure was building up on her and the dancers as well as Will. It was difficult to maintain the same level of energy every night and sometimes Santana and Brittany would be too tired to do anything other than sleep.

Sometimes they would cuddle and watch movies, cuddling which eventually led to kisses which eventually led to sex. Santana realized Brittany was really good in bed, had few boundaries and was ready to try anything. Santana craved her touch, was addicted to how the blonde felt against her, how her skin would shine with a light sheen of sweat when she lay spent, or how her whimpers and pants would increase, the closer she got. Santana would never admit this ofcourse, could never admit that a girl would have this effect on her, that sneaking around actually made things exciting, that she and Brittany could still flirt around with guys but go back to the room and fuck each other senseless. She thought Brittany enjoyed it too, the blonde always eager to get their mack on as Santana was so fond saying. They never discussed anything more, the only rule being no one else should know.

It was an easy arrangement, but hard too. Like the time when Brittany went down on her for the first time. Santana didn't think that sex with Brittany would get anymore pleasurable but feeling the blonde's tongue on her, in her, it just drove her wild making her come really hard. Brittany had then slid up towards her mouth and kissed her hard, mingling their tongues together, "See how good you taste?" she said huskily. Santana moaned at that, her voice, her breath, the taste of Brittany mingled with her very own taste. "I want to taste too" she'd said, flipping the blonde over and doing just that. Hearing her cry out in pleasure was just too much for Santana. Sometimes, it was just too much and after she was done, quickly dressed and left with a feeble excuse. Or when they had a quickie in the shower and Santana happened to look into Brittany's eyes as the blonde was thrusting into her. The blue orbs held so much emotion in them, so much feeling that Santana was overwhelmed and quickly buried her face in Brittany's neck instead. Sometimes it was just too hard to give in to those feelings, she was too scared to.

The worst was when they tried scissoring. Santana didn't think that she would literally pass out with pleasure but when she felt the dancer's wet centre press against hers, it suddenly became a distinct possibility. Santana had asked Brittany if she had tried it before and the blonde just smirked and threw her on the bed while shedding her clothes. A dominating Brittany was a big turn on for Santana and so she was more than ready when long, nimble fingers stroked at her slit. She couldn't stifle her gasp of pleasure when the flexible blonde climbed on top of her or the long loud moans that emanated from her very being as they began to move together, heat against heat. She came hard, her entire body jerking, convulsing in pleasure, her eyes tightly screwed up as blonde hair tickled her neck and soft lips littered kisses all over her face. When she opened her eyes, it was to see Brittany hovering over her, gently stroking her cheek, her eyes swimming with emotion and the intimacy of that moment was just too much for Santana to take. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears, in her head, like the beat of a war drum warning her, that this was no ordinary reaction to sex. Her head was swimming with so many emotions that she couldn't slow down and try to identify them. She gently pushed off the blonde with a smile, fixed her hair and left. She didn't look back, didn't look back to see the disappointment and hurt she knew she'd find in those clear blue eyes.

* * *

The last concert of the tour was awesome. Will had started what he referred to as a show circle before each concert, mostly to key everyone up and keep them going. The last show circle was bittersweet. The dancers would be moving on after the tour, back to their dance companies or studios or wherever they were before. It was unlikely that they'd get to work together again. They went around the group just talking about what a great time they'd had, how they'd found love (Jess said as she grabbed Matt's hand) or mostly how this was one of the best times of their lives. Santana was a little sad, she looked at Brittany wondering if they were still going to be as close after the tour ended. When it was her turn, she thanked everyone for being there on the road to her dreams, and hoped in the bargain they were closer to theirs. Sweet words, and partially true. She didn't tell them how much their friendship meant to her, how it felt so good to be a part of something after being alone for so long, how thankful she was for this tour because she got to meet Brittany and she was sure that that girl had changed her life, she just didn't know how much yet. "What say we go out there and give it all we got?!" Will exclaimed cheerily, as the rest joined in a big group hug.

The concert that night was overwhelming. They were back in L.A and Motta Records had put a lot of thought into it. The energy that night was unparalleled, the dancers seeming to fly, glide, their feet barely touching the ground, Santana's voice soaring above the cheering crowd quietening them with soft notes and exciting them with a perfectly pitched vocal run. It was a dream concert, and Santana had to blink back tears when she walked off the stage. Brittany bounced over to her and wrapped her in a tight hug, and all she whispered was "I'm so proud of you Santana". Santana closed her eyes, basking in the afterglow of a great night, and hugged her back, for a minute forgetting where she was and who could see. Just for that minute her world consisted of the protective circle of the blonde's pale arms.

* * *

Motta Records threw an after party for the entire group that was on tour. Santana mingled with the other artists, while the dancers burned up the dance floor. A very drunk Kurt pulled an equally drunk looking Blaine over and introduced him to Santana as, "my boyfriend Aine Blanderson" and then both burst into hysterical giggles. Santana rolled her eyes and turned back when she was interrupted by the high pitched voice of Sugar Motta. She grimaced and made small talk before she pulled a short brunette towards them, "Santana, I'd like you to meet Rachel Berry. She's in Broadway" Santana looked incredulously at the brunette, "Oh my God! Berry! What are you doing here?" she said with a smirk. Sugar looked confused, "Oh you'll know each other" she said disappointed that she couldn't take credit for introducing them. "Yeah we went to high school together" Santana said with a smirk. "Are you still dating the jolly green giant?" she asked. "No not really. I'm actually dating Jesse St James" Rachel said primly as she blew him a kiss that he proceeded to catch with a disgustingly sappy smile. Santana pretended to gag, and he shot her a glare before turning back to whoever he was schmoozing with. "So Hobbit, your taste in men still hasn't improved. I mean I may actually have preferred Finnocence or even that Ken doll you dated in New York to this wannabe talentless heap" she said as she took a sip of her wine.

Rachel rolled her eyes well used to Santana's caustic wit, "Whatever Santana, you're just jealous that I have someone and you don't. Why is that? You're hot enough, and have questionable boundaries, why don't you have some arm candy tonight." She asked snarkily. Santana stiffened, feeling Snix make an appearance, before she could say anything though, she felt a hand on the small of her back, and smelled Brittany's familiar perfume. "Hi I'm Brittany. S. Pierce" she said extending her hand out to Rachel. Rachel looked a little taken aback but politely shook hands and introducing herself. "How do you know Santana?" Brittany asked. "We went to high school together and for the briefest of periods were roommates as well. I was just about to tell her that it is so wonderful that the two of us are making it, ofcourse I'm on Broadway, so it is a little more prestigious, nevertheless I still applaud her success" she said in one big breath. Brittany just stood there staring at her. "How do you do that?" she asked amazed. "Do what" Rachel said with a frown. "Say all that stuff in one breath? That was like the longest thing someone has said to me that I don't understand. Do you have special powers or something? Were you bitten by a blowfish?" she asked excitedly as Santana and Kurt who had walked over started to snigger. Rachel huffed and turned to introduce herself to Kurt.

Brittany winked at Santana, and then whispered in her ear. "How about we shift to a private party for two?" she husked making Santana's nether regions respond immediately. Santana was eternally thankful she wasn't a guy because with the effect the blonde had on her, she was sure she'd have a permanent boner. "I need to be around for awhile, but we can leave after, yeah. Do you... do you wanna come back to my place?" she asked. Brittany smiled and gave her a quick hug. "I'll catch you in a bit"

She drank a little more, schmoozed a little more and then went to look for Brittany who was crouched talking to a guy in a wheelchair who looked familiar to her. Brittany's eyes shone excitedly as Santana approached, "Hey Santana, guess what? Artie here is directing your music video and he wants me to dance back up in it. Isn't that awesome?!" she said happily, a bright smile on her face. Santana's face softened as she looked at Brittany. "That's amazing Britt" she said quietly. Her smile turned into a frown as Brittany leaned a little closer and then she took his phone and fed in her number. _What the fuck? Why is she giving him her number? _Her scowl deepened when she saw him trying to take a peek down her shirt. "I gotta go now, Santana's giving me a ride, but I'll see you soon" Brittany said as she bounced off, linking her hand through Santana's. The guy gave her a goofy smile and waved at them, his arm faltering when Santana gave him one of her famous death glares. "Keep it in your pants, Wheels" she hissed as she turned and led Brittany out.

She unlocked her front door and dragged Brittany to the bedroom. She threw her on the bed and climbed on top of her, kissing her aggressively, her lips and tongue savage as she kissed her deeply. She almost tore off her clothes, leaving bites and hard kisses all down her throat and breasts. She felt a strange need to mark Brittany, possess her. She was a little mad but she wasn't sure why. Brittany in her usual Brittany way responded with moans and whimpers, and little gasps of pain when Santana sucked or bit down particularly hard. Santana moved over her furiously quickly working her up and making her fall apart just as hard. Brittany panted as she tried to catch her breath. "Wow, I...I'll...just wow!" she gasped, as Santana smirked haughtily. She was just as aggressive when Brittany crawled on top of her, pushing her down and working her up again just like Brittany was doing to her. They both came undone within seconds of each other.

Brittany left early the next morning and Santana didn't see her for awhile after. The music video was going to be shot that day at an old abandoned warehouse and Santana sat there getting her makeup put on. She'd heard Mike Chang and Brittany had been retained to dance as well as a troupe used by the label. She hadn't practiced much with them, working alone with her choreographer, she wasn't doing much dancing anyway, just looking sultrily at the camera as she strutted around. She walked on to the set and looked around. She saw Mike Chang walk up to her, wearing tight black pants and suspenders with body glitter and paint all over his bare chest, Santana winked at him and said, "Nice abs, Channing" smirking when he looked annoyed at being called that. He waved at someone over her shoulder and she turned to look and time stood still. Like it literally fucking stopped. Her heart skipped and she stopped breathing, as Brittany walked over to them wearing boots, short shorts, a tiny bustier looking top and suspenders, she had a hat arranged at an angle on her head and like Mike her torso was covered with glitter and body paint. Santana felt her mouth go dry and was pretty sure her tongue was hanging out. _Fuck! Oh fuck! She looks so hot! Fuck say something, is my tongue actually hanging out, god I think I've forgotten how to breathe. Fuck! _

Brittany smirked as she strolled over, an exaggerated sway to her hips when she saw Santana leering at her. Her eyes roved up and down Santana's body appreciatively. "Wow Santana, you look hot" she said as she joined them. Mike was thankfully pulled away by Tina or someone. Santana didn't know, didn't care at that point. Brittany leaned over and whispered, "God, you look so unbelievably hot right now. I want to jump you right here." Santana gulped, willing her voice to work, "Britt, you look...you look... like wow!" she said lamely as her eyes fixed on Brittany's breasts which had been pushed up by the revealing top. She turned suddenly and pulled Brittany with her to her dressing room and locked the door before pushing Brittany up against it. "Fuck, Britt, you look good enough to eat" she rasped as her hands quickly disappeared into Brittany's shorts, gasping when she felt the dancer more than ready for her. "Oh fuck, you're so wet. We don't have much time, but I won't be able to do anything with you looking like this" she said as she slipped two fingers in quickly working up a rhythm as Brittany wrapped a leg around her waist to steady herself and matched Santana's thrusts. Her leg was between Santana's and she rubbed herself shamelessly on it as she brought Brittany closer to the edge. She swallowed her long moan as she came quickly, spasms and jerks running down her body. Brittany quickly slipped her own fingers below Santana's waistband and pumped them into Santana, making her groan and collapse against the blonde. Brittany kissed Santana's forehead, as a knock sounded at the door, "Santana. We're ready to start. Have you seen Brittany?" came Will's voice from the other side. "Be out in a minute" Santana croaked as she tried to fix her hair and did up her lipstick while smirking at Brittany in the mirror.

The shoot went well, Artie was quite a competent director who explained his vision with a clarity making it easier for the others to perform. He would keep being interrupted by Jesse who insisted on being consulted about every little detail. They still managed to wrap up the shoot pretty early. Santana went back to her dressing room and sent Britt a text- Wanna come over tonight?

She heard a knock a little later at the door, and Brittany peeked in "Santana, I need to talk to you" she said as she stood in front of the Latina seated at the mirror taking off her makeup.

Santana nodded for her to continue. Brittany seemed nervous, "Santana, Artie asked me out" she said. Santana's only reaction was the slight tightening of her lips. She carefully finished wiping her face and looked at Brittany, a look of nonchalance on her face, "And...?" she questioned. Brittany looked puzzled, "Are you ok with this?" she said carefully. Santana turned back to her mirror busying herself, "Why would it bother me? We aren't dating" "she said airily, her eyes flickering to Brittany's face, before her studied interest in her reflection. She didn't miss the shadow that passed across the blonde's face or the slightly hardened tone, "Fine! I just came to tell you that I won't be able to come over tonight. See you tomorrow" she said as she stalked out. Santana felt a sting of guilt but shook it away as she changed. _Why would she ask my permission? Fuck that why would she go for Wheels? Really? There are literally so many other people who would kill to date her_.

She slammed her front door shut and threw her bag on the table. She was really mad and she didn't know why. Her doorbell rang and she cursed as she went over to open it, looking dumbfounded as Quinn stood framed in the doorway. "Well bitch, aren't you gonna let me in?" she asked as Santana's face broke into a huge smile. "What are you doing here? Did you run out of professors to bang and came here trolling for boys your own age?" she asked sarcastically as she pulled her into a hug. "Ha ha Santana, still think you have a sense of humour. I'm in town for a conference actually. I'm only here for two days but I thought I'd forgo the hotel and crash here instead, if that's ok with you" Quinn said as she pulled her bag in and shut the door. "You always were a cheap bitch" Santana said as she walked over and pulled out a bottle of wine. "Yeah well I figured you'd be out all night doing your thing so you wouldn't be needing your bed" Quinn said with a wink as she accepted the glass of wine from Santana. Santana laughed and the two fell into an easy banter. Their friendship had always intrigued people, sometimes they seemed to hate each other, deliberately sabotaging each other's chances, but sometimes would be so protective of each other that people soon learned not to mess with them in high school. Santana was glad Quinn was here, glad she had something to distract her from whatever the hell was going on in her head. "So Lopez. You gonna show me the sights or what?" Quinn asked, downing her glass. "You bet!" Santana said with a grin.

They stumbled in late, Quinn giggling hysterically and texting with some guy she'd met at the bar they'd gone to. "That was awesome. Man I hate being in law school, it's been awhile since I could just cut loose" she sighed as she flopped on to the couch. Santana smirked at her, "Oh yeah, you did that all right. I saw you suck face with surfer boy. Infact I'm surprised you could finally extract your head from his mouth" she said as she threw a bottle of water to Quinn who promptly fell off the sofa trying to catch it, resulting in another outbreak of hysterical giggles. "Yeah well, he was asking if he could come over but I figured it would just be sad to bring him here and parade him in front of you when you had no luck tonight" she said as she climbed back on and took a big gulp of water. Santana shrugged, "You keep telling yourself that Quinnie, I just thought I'd sit this one out, cos if these were going out to play, you didn't stand a tiny chance" she said motioning to her breasts. Quinn rolled her eyes, "Yeah right. You sit one out, since when? You're acting old, or like you're in love. Wait! I saw guys hitting on you, why didn't you flirt back?" she said suspiciously turning towards her looking alarmingly sober. Santana waved her hand, "I just wasn't in the mood. I live here. I've heard it all before" she said nonchalantly. In a moment of sobriety, Quinn pursed her lips then asked, "You'd tell me if you were seeing someone right Santana?" Santana laughed, "I don't really do relationships Fabray, in case you forgot." Quinn started walking off to the bedroom, and yelled back over her shoulder, "Yeah but every now and then Santana, the universe throws you a curveball, as my dad was so fond of saying"


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello... I'm back with a nice juicy chapter :) **

**Thank you for all the reviews, faves and the wishes for my exams. I should hopefully be able to post every week-10 days from now on. Now enough talk, on with the show. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. **

* * *

Brittany was the first to admit that she wasn't very book smart, but when it came to people, she was, especially when it came to Santana Lopez. The young woman was stubborn, so very stubborn but she was passionate and kind and beautiful and everytime Brittany told herself that she should stop fooling herself and just move on, Santana would say or do something to pull her right back in. Brittany had been attracted to the singer from the very beginning, and she thought the feeling was mutual, that is until she flirted with her and saw the Latina's walls come up. She'd left her alone, content with being just friends, but every now and then she wasn't able to resist cuddling her a little longer, touching her, hugging her. Brittany craved the singer and being just friends wasn't doing much for her, but she'd understood that Santana didn't want anything else. Or so she thought till they kissed, during the game of truth and dare. Brittany's whole body felt heavy and light at the same time and she experienced so many different feelings all at once that it was exhilarating as well as painful. It had taken all her self control not to gasp in pleasure when their lips met. She'd known after that, that the brunette had begun to feel something for her as well.

When Santana had suggested a physical relationship, Brittany had been a trifle disappointed, but she couldn't really complain because at that point, she wanted the singer so badly that she would have agreed to anything. Santana turning out to be very good in bed was definitely an added advantage. It was fine, when they were on tour, Brittany could pretend that they were exclusive, because she knew that once they started hooking up Santana looked nowhere else for gratification. The messy physical relationship which was made all the more intense by unsaid feelings, feelings that turned into moans and groans and whispered pleas, was enough to ignore the heartbreak of Santana leaving or pulling away shortly after they were done. Brittany could almost ignore the twinge of hurt she felt when she saw the panic in the brunette's eyes, or the fact that Santana almost always insisted that it was just sex, nothing else. For a temporary arrangement, it worked out fine.

Now since they were back, Brittany was distraught to realize that Santana wanted this arrangement to continue. She'd hoped dating Artie would spur the brunette to admitting her feelings or doing something...anything. But Santana was stubborn, extremely so and all she did was attack Brittany with increased vigour everytime the blonde came back from an outing with the other man. Brittany understood, she understood that when Santana was rough, it was because she was hurting inside, jealous of not being the one Brittany was with, she understood that Santana always gave her the biggest hickeys after a date with Artie because she was marking her, staking her claim, she even understood that the singer was scared which was why she was pushing down all these feelings. What she didn't understand was why Santana just couldn't let herself go, why Brittany's obvious love for her was not enough. It was a question that plagued her mind, and she was too afraid to ask because of what the answer would be, but Brittany realized that the stubborn singer was probably never going to be the one to make a move.

* * *

Brittany lay back on the dishevelled bed stark naked, watching Santana dress. She reached forward and ran her finger down the Latina's arm, "Spend the night" she whispered. Santana paused and turned to Brittany, "Britt, C'mon you know the rules, no sleepovers. Plus I need to meet with Will tomorrow" she said as she tied her hair into a tight ponytail. Brittany sighed in irritation and pouted, hoping it would sway Santana but the singer didn't look at her. She pushed herself up, and chewed on her bottom lip, not sure whether she should tell her, but wanting desperately to know her reaction.

"Artie asked me to be his girlfriend" she blurted out, making Santana pause. She watched as the singer tried to gather herself, her back still to Brittany as her shoulders rose indicating she'd taken in a deep breath. She continued watching her, waiting as Santana slowly turned around, not meeting Brittany's eyes and asked quietly, "What did you say?"

Silence stretched out between them as Brittany pondered on what to say. She'd been quite shocked when Artie asked her, and had let him down as gently as possible.

Brittany replied, "I said it would depend"

Santana finally looked up at her. "Depend on what?" she asked, a tiny waver in her voice as she tried her very best to act nonchalant.

Brittany groaned inwardly. Why did Santana have to make everything so difficult?! She hated playing these games, but God.. Santana was so damn stubborn and this was the only way to get her to realize.

"Well Santana, it would depend on us. On this" she said gesturing between the two of them. Santana's expression was now fearful and she moved back the tiniest bit. Brittany saw this and shuffled forward, " We've been sleeping together for a long time now, but I'm kinda dating this guy and I'm sleeping with you and though you tell me the plumbing's different, I feel like I'm cheating and I'm not sure on who. I'm confused Santana. What are we? You never talk about us, you never talk about your feelings and I need to know. I need to know what I am to you." Brittany said a little desperately. She needed her to understand, needed Santana to need her the same way she did.

Santana looked like a trapped animal, her eyes were wide and expression scared as she once again looked down at her hands. "Britt... C'mon this is just sex, you know. That's all. There isn't anything to talk about"

Brittany reached forward and gently lifted her head, "It's not just sex Santana, atleast not for me and I'm hoping not for you either. So I'm asking again. What is this?" she said earnestly. She knew that she was still letting Santana define the relationship and that in all probability the singer would want it to go back, but she took a chance.

"I..uh.. what... I don't know Britt. I'm kinda freaking out about this." Santana said softly, her voice laced with anxiety and her hands fidgeting in her lap. She was clearly uncomfortable.

"Why?" Brittany asked simply, smiling softly at Santana. _Atleast she didn't say friends with benefits. _

"Brittany, I... I don't know... I mean I'm not... we're not..." Santana stuttered trying to fight the panic rising in her chest. Brittany just kept looking at her, her face sanguine. Santana took a deep breath and tried to gather her thoughts. "Brittany, you mean a lot to me. You're my best friend but I don't know what this is. I don't think I'm ready to be labelled. I mean, I don't even know if...are you even...?" she asked helplessly as she held her head in her hands and ran her fingers through her hair. Brittany took Santana's hand and made gentle shushing noises to calm down the hysterical Latina. "Santana, no one's asking you to label yourself. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'm just trying to figure out what you want."

Santana swallowed as she stared at the floor. "So ... umm you...uhh... you like girls?" she asked softly.

Brittany's answer was prompt and confident, "I like people. I like them for who they are. It doesn't matter to me if they're girls or boys."

Santana paused as she tried to form her thoughts into a question. She whispered so soft that Brittany almost missed it, "So...umm.. have you ever...?"

"Have I ever what?" Brittany asked.

Santana looked up for the briefest time, then looked down again as she continued. "Have you ever dated a woman?" she asked quietly.

Brittany smiled and said, "Well I've kissed women, even had sex with them, been on a couple of dates sure, but not really had a serious relationship with one."

Santana gulped as she assimilated this new information. She was so scared and she wondered just how Brittany could be ok about it, how she didn't seem worried about what people would say. "How are you so cool with this? Don't you worry about what people will say? That they'll judge you?" Santana asked.

Brittany smiled warmly, Santana was finally opening up to her, talking to her about her fears and insecurities. She wanted to grab the smaller girl and hold her, protect her from everything. She wanted to run her fingers through raven locks and whisper sweet promises of love in her ears. She wanted to lock them away from the rest of the world just so she could have this gorgeous woman all to herself. But she couldn't do these things, so she leaned forward instead and cupped Santana's cheek. "San, you make really happy, and right now that's enough. And chances are that anything could happen, I can't promise you that everything's gonna be alright, but I do promise to be there with you, to stand by you, whatever happens!" she declared.

Santana felt tears fill her eyes, God Brittany was so damn perfect. She always knew what to say, how to soothe her. When she was with her she felt like maybe, just maybe she was strong enough to face the world with her by her side.

"Brittany I... fuck.. I don't know what to do. I dunno whether I'm ready to make a big announcement yet. Shit I don't even know if I like other girls. I mean yeah I'd look at them in high school and stuff but not like I wanted to kiss them, ok maybe one or two of the hot ones. Fuck! What am I even saying. I have sex with guys like all the time. Wait that makes me sound like a..." Santana rambled in an increasingly hysterical tone.

She paused in mid sentence as Brittany held on to her face and firmly pressed her lips to hers. Santana willingly kissed her back, tugging her closer in the process. Brittany smiled as she pulled away, and gently cradled the brunette's head. "Don't freak yourself out. Just agree to go on a date with me, and let's take it from there? She said earnestly

"A date? I.. don't think I can Britt, the media..." Santana said a little hysterically

"A simple date. We'll grab dinner and go dancing or something. It won't be too coupley so the media won't notice ok? Like two friends going out. For all you know it could end up being pretty bad." Brittany joked.

Santana shook her head as she smiled at Brittany, "I seriously doubt that. Anywhere you take me will be perfect, cos I'll be with you, and well you're...perfect" she finished lamely ducking her head shyly.

Brittany's smile grew wider as she reached in and gave Santana a quick peck on the lips. "So Santana, will you go out on a date with me?"

Santana smiled timidly and replied, "Ok."

* * *

Kurt watched in amusement as Santana worriedly walked up and down in front of the mirror, pausing every now and then to check her reflection. She had called him frantically a few hours ago and said she needed his help. She refused to tell him what the occasion was but he deducted she was going on a date, and she seemed extremely nervous, snapping at him for every stray tendril that wasn't just right. She wore a beautiful crimson dress that showed off her amazing body and Kurt was quite pleased with his handiwork. "You know, maybe if you walk faster you could speed up time to after the date where you won't be so nervous" he joked.

"Santana Lopez doesn't do nervous Porcelain," she snapped, "Is my hair ok?" she asked frantically fixing an errant strand into place and continued her pacing. She suddenly turned to him and said, "And who said anything about a date? I'm going out with friends, that's all"

Kurt smiled widely and was just about to tease her when she glanced at the clock. Suddenly he felt himself being hustled out, "Thanks for all your help Fairy Godmother but you needs to be gone now" she said. Kurt fixed his dishevelled clothes and glared at her, "I'm going geez, you don't have to throw me out." He said. She nodded and was going to shut the door when he leaned forward and kissed her cheek softly. Her brow furrowed and she looked at him questioningly. "Good luck" he whispered and closed the door behind him.

Santana stood at the closed front door, her frown still on her face. _Oh my God he knows, he's figured it out. He's gonna tell everyone I'm gay. But he's gay, so he won't right. There's gotta be a code or something. Fuck! Where is she? _She jumped a foot when the doorbell suddenly chimed above her head. "Fuck" she muttered as she took a breath and tried to calm her racing heart. When she felt it slow, she reached out and opened the door only for it to start fluttering again. Brittany stood on her doorstep looking resplendent in a pale blue dress that brought out the color of her beautiful blue eyes. "Hi" Brittany said shyly as she looked into Santana's warm mocha eyes. "Hi" Santana replied a little breathlessly, and then frowned at herself. "You ready?" Brittany asked with a grin. Santana nodded and shut the door behind her.

* * *

Santana drummed her fingers on Jesse St James' desk as she waited impatiently for him to finish his phone call with someone he was trying to sweet talk. She took a look around and snorted at his ostentatious office, "So fucking typical" she muttered under her breath. He finally hung up and his fake smile dropped off his face. He reached for the phone and spoke into it in a short clipped voice. "Tina hold my calls till I'm done ok. No matter who it is." He then turned faced Santana, an unreadable expression on his face. She crossed her arms defensively against her chest and leaned back in her chair. "Well, what earth shattering news suddenly came up for you to call and demand a meeting? She said acidly. Jesse sighed theatrically and threw a newspaper on the desk in front of him. It was opened to a picture of Brittany and Santana at the club they went to on their date, dancing with each other, tenderly gazing into each others' eyes. "Care to explain this Santana?" he asked tiredly. Santana swallowed and picked up the paper and read the caption below. 'Is Santana Lopez playing for the other team? She certainly seemed comfortable cozying up to her back up dancer Brittany Pierce at The Blue last night'

"I don't need to explain anything to you " she said defensively throwing the paper back on the table.

Jesse rubbed his eyes and asked "Are you really gay? What is all of this?" he asked gesturing to the picture.

Santana felt her blood boil. She hated being cornered. "What I do outside of this building is really none of your fucking business Jesse" she said aggressively as she stood up. "I'm leaving". Her thoughts were in a turmoil. _Shit who the fuck took this picture? We were being so discreet. I didn't even kiss her. What the hell is Jesse going to do about this? Am I going to be fired? They can't fire me for being gay? Or can they?_

"Sit down Santana" Jesse said authoritatively. Santana turned but didn't sit, she just stood there with her arms crossed across her chest, glowering at him.

" Ever since movie stars and pop divas started throwing their little tantrums, Motta Records has inserted what we call a Lifestyle Clause in the contract that you sign up on. It basically means that you are an ambassador of the label and you reflect their image and beliefs. It also means you don't fuck up its reputation" he began.

"Are you kidding me? Does this mean I need to dress like a rejected metrosexual, moisturizer using boy band member like you?" Santana asked acidly.

Jesse glared at her in irritation, "It means, that you don't get to go around pulling Linsay Lohan level stunts like this" he said enunciating every word.

"Are you trying to say that the label expects me not to date? Or just not to date girls?" she asked in disbelief, her eyebrows arched. Inside however she felt a cold dread clutch at her heart. This was what she was afraid of.

"Well to put it simply your ass is owned by the label, doing stuff like this will make your contract null and void. Do you really wanna risk everything you've built on some girl Santana?" he said as he watched Santana sink into the chair, her brow furrowed.

"Do the guys signed by the label also have this clause in their contract? Cos I gotta tell you what I've seen sure as hell qualifies as a breach of contract." She said venomously

"Look forget about your contract, just think of yourself. Think of how much you've worked, from the sleazy bars of New York to L.A. You're finally flying on the radar. You're just starting out, not yet established enough to take a hit like this. Yeah you date girls, suddenly, moms don't want their kids listening to your music, churches condemn it in their sermons, certain radio stations won't play your music because it goes against their morals, people start rejecting you, not wanting to work with you because you're gay. You haven't thought this through, think of all the consequences. Think about Brittany if not you, word like this gets out and no one wants to hire her. Dancers have a really short shelf life, you know that. She'll be screwed and all this for what? A fuck?" I've been in this business way longer than you have. Careers have been destroyed for way less than this" he said, his tone persuasive.

Santana didn't reply, a frown on her face deep in thought.

* * *

Brittany was so happy, Santana finally wanted to be with her, after all the months of not talking and mindless fucks in the dark, she finally wanted to be with the blonde. She could kiss her, or run her fingers through her beautiful dark hair, or hold hands with her, or dance with her at a club and not have to worry. Things were going great. Well going great till a couple of days ago. Santana had a meeting with Jesse and although the Latina often came back from meetings with him in a foul mood because he'd tried to take over her creative process, or because he told her certain outfits were unflattering, or because he thought she was off key in a certain recording, Brittany was always able to cheer her up and get her mind off her rage. Only today she didn't seem angry, she seemed sad, and conflicted and thoughtful. The kind of thoughtful that makes you think you're head is going to explode. Worried, Brittany had suggested they go to Brittany's favourite nightclub to get her mind off whatever it was that was troubling her and Santana had agreed.

A few hours later, the pair stood at the bar waiting on their drinks. Brittany put her arms around Santana's waist and nuzzled her neck, whispering into her ear over the loud music. Santana angled her head and gave her a small smile. There were a few guys in front of them who were giving them weird looks. Santana wasn't really paying them attention because Brittany had decided to dirty talk into her ear and pause every now and then to nibble at her earlobe. It was taking a considerable effort on Santana's part to keep in control and not just drag the blonde off. The guys turned to them again and started whispering amongst themselves, throwing them a few smirks and leering looks. Santana finally noticed and had enough, "Hey! Do you cavemen have a problem?" she asked nastily. One of them looked her over and winked "Not at all mama, you keep doing your thing, think maybe this is more entertaining than the dance floor," he said as his friends laughed and high fived each other. Brittany reacted, reaching for the Latina's hand and pulling her close while whispering in her ear "Santana, it's not worth it". She knew the singer was still touchy about this whole new situation and suddenly she cursed herself for suggesting the nightclub in the first place. "Hey maybe when the two of you are done with each other, you'll let some of us in on the action. Maybe we straighten you two out a little" the same idiot said, puffing his chest out like a stupid pigeon. Santana lunged at him and Brittany just about managed to hold her back and drag her off to the accompaniment of wolf whistles and catcalls.

She dragged Santana outside and to the side next to an alleyway before letting go of her. "Santana, you shouldn't let them get to you" she said patiently as Santana muttered under her breath in Spanish.

Santana glared at her, "They're disgusting, stupid, Neanderthal boys Britt"

"I know honey but you just gotta ignore them. No one cares what they think" she said patiently again as she reached for Santana and tried to kiss her.

Santana pushed her away, "What if I care Brittany?" she asked quietly not meeting her eyes.

Brittany looked at her in confusion, hurt at being pushed away. "You really care what a bunch of immature high school boys think?" she asked

"Ofcourse I care Britt. These stupid high school boys and girls are the ones buying my albums. My entire reputation rests on what they think. Without an audience, I'm no good as a singer" she said frantically wringing her hands.

Brittany looked at her in surprise. This was not the girl she knew, not the fiercely independent Santana that she loved.

"I'm not like you Brittany, I do care what people think. I have to care about it. I know you hate that I hide this part of me, but I can't go around parading it. I'm not ready" Santana continued raising her voice a little further.

Something clicked inside Brittany's head. "Is this about your meeting with Jesse this morning? You've been a little distant all day. Did he say something to you?" she asked softly raising her hand to brush away Santana's hair so she could see her face.

She felt incredibly hurt when Santana moved out of reach of her fingers, averting her gaze. Her brow was furrowed and shoulders hunched and she looked like she was holding back tears. "I feel like you're trying to make us this thing and I'm not ready for it and it's a lot of pressure and I'm just not ready for this Brittany. I can't be the person you want me to be. I just... I can't be what you want" Santana said softly, her voice breaking on the last word.

Brittany felt panic rising inside her. _No no.. What they hell was going on? It was like someone flipped a switch and everything had just gone to shit. What was scaring her more than anything was she could feel Santana slipping away from her and she didn't know what to do. _"Santana, where is this all coming from?" Brittany asked worried. "Ok, ok if you think we're moving too fast, it's ok, we can maybe slow things down..."

"No Britt, I can't do this anymore" Santana interrupted her quietly, her voice firm.

"Santana, what are you saying? Are you... are you breaking up with me?" Brittany asked in a brokenly, tears leaking down her face.

"Trust me Britt, it's for the best. This is just too hard. It's just not the right time" Santana said, her own face stained with tears. "I'm sorry" she said as she turned to walk away leaving behind a heartbroken Brittany.

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**Ok I know you all hate me right now, but this part of the story needed to happen. This chapter was extremely difficult to write. **

**Review please? :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you so much for all the reviews and alerts off the last chapter. It motivates me to write quicker for you guy! Love the love ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee. **

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Santana poured the last of the vodka into her glass and shoved the empty bottle away. Her apartment looked like a tornado had gone through it. Empty take out containers and bottles littered up the place as did half smoked cigarettes. She ran her hands through her matted hair, and winced as the alcohol burned a path down her throat. Her phone rang, but she ignored it as she took another big swallow. She rested her head on the counter and waited for the alcohol to make everything a little blurry. Her answering machine clicked on when her apartment phone rang, it was Will reminding her that she had to attend the opening of a new restaurant downtown and that he would pick her up at 7. She flipped off the answering machine and took another swallow, wincing more than usual when she hear Kurt's high pitched voice over the answering machine telling her that he'd swing by in a couple of hours to start getting her ready. Santana just reached for an unopened bottle and took another swig.

"Oh my God! What the hell happened to you Santana? You look like shit!" Kurt exclaimed as he let himself in. Santana glared at him, "Wont you come in and throw a couple of insults around" she muttered sarcastically as she shut the door. "I didn't even know you wore glasses" he said as he looked around his eyes widening as he took in the mess. "Did you have a party? Or is this just you living like a pig? Are you against cleaning or something?" he asked as he wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"Hey! You don't get to come in here and insult me about how I live, especially since you use so much damn hairspray, you're probably some sort of walking environmental hazard by yourself. So spare me your little judgemental hissy fit and set your shit up while I go shower" she snapped at a surprised Kurt.

"Are you drunk?" he asked incredulously.

"No!" she retorted as she tripped and almost fell on the couch.

Kurt reached out and steadied her. "Santana, is everything ok?" he asked her gently as he held her steadily. "I met Brittany yesterday, and she looked really out of it too. Did something happen between the two of you?"

Brown eyes looked up at him full of pain, but before he could even be sure, they'd hardened into Santana's familiar glare. "Everything's fine Nancy, don't get your panties in a twist worrying about me. Just do your shit so I can go to this party where I'm gonna grind up against some hot piece of ass that I can bring home" she said as she straightened up and walked unsteadily out of the room. Kurt sighed as he began setting up his things.

Santana stood under the hot water trying to stop the tears streaming down her face. _Fuck, why does this always happen when I drink? Stupid emotions! Why did Kurt have to mention HER, couldn't he just do his fucking job and leave. _She felt terrible as she imagined Brittany in pain because of her. _But what else could I do? I had no choice, it was just really bad timing. She's better off without me anyway; maybe Stubbles and she could get back together. _ This only caused a fresh bout of sobs the wrack her body.

Kurt was looking down at his phone in confusion. Now more than ever he was sure that something had happened. He's texted Brittany and the normally ebullient dancer was curt and replied in monosyllables. He didn't want to pry but he cared about the two girls and didn't want either of them to suffer. The door opened and Santana walked in wrapped in a bathrobe. Her eyes were red and swollen. She'd obviously been crying. He walked over and started to blow dry her hair as he tried to think of what to say. "You know Santana, you could talk to me if you need to" he said slowly. Her eyes met his in the mirror. "Why the fuck would I do that?" she asked. "It's just... look.. you're obviously sad and upset and I want to help ok, and whatever it is between you and Britt, you two can work through it" he said earnestly. He gulped when he saw her famous glare, "I am going to say this only once Tinkerbell so you listen good, my personal life is not hot gossip for your little tea parties. Just do your fucking job and leave ok" she snarled. Kurt snapped his mouth shut and finished quickly and left.

Santana sighed as she felt another wave of tears threaten to make an appearance. She knew it was not Kurt's fault. She knew she was feeling guilty and so she snapped. She hated doing this to Brittany, but she had to. She did it for them, because neither of their careers could take this sort of hit. Brittany just didn't see it. Plus they weren't in love or anything, it was just one date.

She thought back, to how nervous she was as she opened the door to find the blonde smiling. How she'd brought her a single long stemmed pink rose, which Santana promptly and proudly put in a vase near the front door. Brittany had made reservations at a restaurant for the two of them that reminded Santana vaguely of Breadstix back home, and they even had breadsticks that Santana promptly pounced on. Brittany was the perfect date, pulling out Santana's chair for her and pressing a soft kiss to her head as she sat down. Santana asked to hold hands under the table and Brittany smiled sweetly and complied. Santana remembered the warmth coursing through her as their hands were linked under the table. Conversation always came easy for them, and even the silences were spent comfortably staring into each other's eyes and smiling bashfully.

Brittany said they were going to a new club called 'The Blue' after. Her friend Ashley worked there and would get them in. They danced and drank and just enjoyed each other's company. "I didn't want to put pressure on you. So the dinner was the romantic part and now this is the fun part ok" Brittany said as she twirled Santana around. The dj played a slightly slower track and Brittany held out her hand, making the choice Santana's. Santana melted into the dancer's embrace as they moved slowly, Santana's head resting on Brittany's shoulder, enjoying the feeling of her arms wrapped around her. She had moved to look into her eyes, wrapping her arm around the back of Brittany's neck as she gazed into her eyes. _I'm falling for her. I could do this forever. _

That was the picture splashed in the paper, thrown carelessly on Jesse's desk. Some stupid photographer or asshole with a cellphone had deemed it fit to just ruin their lives for the sake of entertainment. In one callous little gesture Santana had felt her whole world being torn apart. Tears fell from her eyes as she thought, _Fuck! I miss her so much and it's only been two weeks._

* * *

Jesse had made it his personal mission to make sure that Santana would not be responsible for negative PR after that. He was convinced that in order to build up her profile as a singer she needed to build up her image as a public figure first. She had to endure a number of long speeches about how to conduct herself in public by a host of people who she would promptly forget. He also had her going to parties and events all over the place, and her cheeks literally hurt from the fake smile that she now wore like a second skin. She was at one such party, where she was supposed to be schmoozing because they pretty much existed for that purpose when she caught a glimpse of Kurt and Rachel. Picking up a flute of champagne off a passing waiter's tray, she joined them. "Well well, it's the dwarf and the princess. What are you two doing here?" she asked as she took a sip. Rachel rolled her eyes and said, "Well if you really must know Santana, Jesse invited me. It's important to build up a good set of contacts in the industry, you never know when you may need it" Santana held out a hand, "God Berry, did your smarmy boyfriend teach you that in exchange for the hickeys on your neck that you oh so conveniently forgot to cover up? she asked sarcastically.

Rachel turned a deep shade of red and brought her hand up to try and cover up the hickeys Santana was referring to. Kurt rolled his eyes at her smirk and said in a bored voice, "She's messing with you Rachel. There aren't any hickeys." An affronted Rachel was just about to retort to Santana when they were interrupted by a squeal from a couple of teenage girls behind them, "Oh my God! Is that David Karoffsky, the football player? That is so cool! What is he doing here?" one of them yelled to the other in excitement. Santana rolled her eyes and was about to snap at them when she realized that Karoffsky was standing in fron of her along with Jesse who sported the biggest smirk on his face. "I'm sure you all know David Karoffsky. Dave here is a big fan of yours Santana. Dave, you obviously know Santana, this is my beautiful girlfriend Rachel and this is their makeup man Kurt" he sneered in Kurt's direction. Karoffsky gave Kurt a disgusted look and then turned to the two women, "Ladies, may I get you two a drink?" he asked politely, effectively stealing them away.

* * *

The caption under the picture of the two of them read,** Santana Lopez and David Karoffsky were spotted together last night at the launch of Fox Network's new show. Could Karoffsky, notorious for his famous tackles on the field be sweeping this lucky lady off her feet? **

The picture featured Dave smiling and Santana drinking from a glass of champagne. Her cell phone rang, it was Jesse. "Please tell me you've seen the paper?" he said excitedly. "Is this some more of your PR bullshit?" she asked. "That ape had no personality. I wouldn't be caught dead with him" she said venomously. She heard Jesse let out a breath in irritation. "Santana it wouldn't be the worst thing to be seen with a guy you know. There have been rumours, a lot of rumours going around after that picture made its appearance. Just go to a couple of events together, let the public see you, it doesn't even need to be official, let them make their own assumptions, just trust me. You don't need this question hanging over your head" he said and hung up. Santana looked at her phone in disgust and then flung it across the room.

She was with David at a launch party shortly after. With her single getting airtime on the radio and the music video making a splash, she had no dearth of a social life, except that she functioned like a zombie. They posed for pictures outside the venue and made their way in, Dave leaving her side to go talk to some of his buddies, and Santana making her way straight to the bar. She felt someone stand next to her and realized that it was Kurt. "How is it that you're everywhere? Are you seriously some sort of mythological pixie creature?" she asked in wonder as she downed the scotch she was drinking. Kurt rolled his eyes, "I'm here with Blaine" he explained patiently. Blaine then made an appearance, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist and smiling at Santana over Kurt's shoulder, "Hi Santana" he said jovially while he nuzzled Kurt's neck. "Eyebrows!" she nodded back at him. He only laughed and pulled Kurt to the dance floor. "Dance with me" he said tenderly. Santana watched them dance, and felt something shift inside her. Her chest felt heavy, and a dark black mood settled inside her heart. She simultaneously felt like bursting into tears, but also really mad. She quickly checked, but she'd only had two drinks, so she couldn't be drunk, but she felt really, really upset. Suddenly it clicked, she was jealous, insanely jealous of Kurt and Blaine and what they had.

She was still brooding when Kurt came back, a silly smile plastered on his face. "Does he own bowties in colours that will not induce a seizure?" she said conversationally. Kurt laughed and said, "I'm designing some stuff for him that does not include bowties, let's hope he takes it in stride." "You two seem serious? Are you pregnant?" she asked him seriously. "Ha ha funny. Are you seriously dating Karoffsky?" he asked in disgust. Santana shrugged. "That actually makes me want to puke" he said, making a gagging face. "Oh please like you and wannabe Freddy Mercury sucking face is any less nauseating" she said rolling her eyes. Kurt looked at her as if he was debating with himself before saying, "Santana, Karoffsky he's a pig. A homophobic and ignorant bully. I don't want you to get hurt" he said carefully. "Thanks for the concern but why don't you stick your nose back in Blaine's ass back where it belongs and keep it the hell away from my business" she said angrily. "Santana he pushed me around a couple of times, and besides that he's not a very nice person. You can do so much better." He said brushing off her insult although he seemed a little irritated by it.

"Listen to me Tinkerbell and listen good. I have had with people telling me what's good for me. Why don't the whole lot of you fuck off and leave me alone" she yelled. Kurt looked around and pulled her outside, where they had a little more privacy. "Stop making a scene Santana," he warned. She lost it. All the pent up hurt, disappointment and rage she had been bottling up came out in an outpouring of angry insults and vicious words. He called her out on pretty much everything she was holding in, her feelings for Brittany, hiding and being a sad miserable little creature, her significantly increased drinking, how Karoffsky was just an arrangement and a bad one at that, how she wanted to get to the top and didn't care who she trampled on in the bargain. She yelled back at him, insulting words, biting words that were designed to hurt. He looked at her when she was done, tears shining in his large eyes. "Santana, I expected so much more from you. You were someone who showed so much spirit, but now you're just a puppet, a sad cowardly puppet that lets the label tell her what to do. You just talk big, but when it comes down to it, you're just a scared little girl. Maybe it's good you and Brittany never got together because Brittany definitely deserves more than this person you've become. I'm disappointed in you" he said in an even voice and turned around and walked away to Blaine who promptly wrapped his arm around him and they left. Santana was left standing in the balcony, her eyes wide with shock, as she watched her one of her only real friends walk away.

* * *

She left soon after Kurt feigning a headache to Dave who didn't seem to care much. She walked into her apartment, straight to the bar and pulled out a bottle of whiskey, taking long swigs, hoping that it would erase Kurt's words swirling around her head. _How dare he say that to her? Who the hell was he to even talk to her about these things. _She remembered him saying that they were not so different, her and him. _Like I could ever be like him. I'm nothing like him. I'm not fucking gay! And how dare he bring up Brittany. Was he meeting with her? Did she actually say the things that he said? God I am a loser. I can't be with her because of my career but I can't stop thinking of her. I miss her so damn much._

It scared Santana how much she missed her. The blonde had made herself a part of Santana's life in no time. It wasn't just about the sex or the physical attraction although that was brilliant. It was more, it was in the way Brittany would tilt her head and gaze at Santana, and just know what she was thinking, it was in the way she would take up for Santana in her own quirky way, or how a hug from her could literally make everything ok, how she would sometimes link their pinkies together and that small act made Santana feel anchored. It was so much more than what everyone saw, it was in the little things like Brittany's smile when it drizzled, or how she loved cats, or the sparkle in her eye if she was joking around, or the sultry smirks reserved for Santana, as she made her writhe and fall apart. Now that the blonde was gone, Santana actually felt a physical ache, a dull throbbing ache that filled the Brittany sized hole in her heart. A heavy feeling deep in her chest that refused to leave. She'd tried everything, booze, pills, partying, hooking up but it hadn't helped, hadn't changed the fact that her life was empty without Brittany. Without her smile, or her perfume or her excited giggles, or deadpan jokes. And then it hit her, the reason she felt so guilty, the reason she'd felt like shit all these days, like someone had sucked all the happiness right out of her heart even though professionally she was doing well. She was in love with Brittany. It wasn't just some silly crush, it wasn't just some mindless fuck, she was textbook head over heels in love with her. And the worst part was that the realization didn't make her feel any better, it just made her feel a whole lot worse.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys... Thanks for the reviews and alerts. I love hearing from all of you even if it is to berate me for Brittana not happening yet. All I have to say to that is that I promise you Brittana IS endgame.**

**There is no Britt this chapter and maybe even the next. I think the struggle Santana is facing is important right now. She has potential to be such a beautiful character and I hope to do that justice. Bear with me, I promise it's worth it. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee. **

* * *

It had been a week since the whole Kurt fiasco. A week, since she woke up with stale whiskey on her breath and dried tears on her cheeks; and the knowledge that she was hopelessly in love with Brittany S Pierce. Ever since then she'd been trying her best to forget, to move on but it had absolutely no effect. She saw her everywhere, felt her in everything and try as she might, she just could not get over the bubbly blonde. She quickly realized that Karoffsky was not in the least interested in a physical relationship, something that boded well for both of them. Ever since Brittany she realized that even though she did want to hook up with a random guy, she would feel nothing, or worse, she would feel guilty, like she was cheating on her which was ridiculous, because Brittany and her weren't together. Still she missed her more and more everyday.

Will had picked up on the fact that something was wrong, but that was probably because she had called him late one night, drunk out of her mind and sobbing as if her world had ended. He'd come over but she had already passed out and then refused to acknowledge it happened. She was mortified she'd called him. It just went to show how upset she was. She had never needed anyone before. Both her parents worked long hours often leaving her alone. She'd grown up without any parental guidance, often feeling like she was a burden on them and had long since accepted that they were people that she couldn't really count on. She had no high school friends except for Quinn. Everyone else in high school figured that she'd eventually end up a junkie or a hooker. It had hurt her tremendously when she realized that no one cared about her except for Quinn and that was probably the reason that she needed to get out of Lima as soon as she could. She'd known from the very start that she truly was all on her own. It was why she didn't do relationships, why she had no close friends besides Quinn, because she couldn't, **couldn't **bear to care about anyone else and then have them leave her. It was sad that no one but Quinn knew of her dreams, no one cared. Sometimes when she was in New York riding the subway late at night, she would wonder if anyone even cared if something happened to her. It was probably why she enjoyed the attention from her audience, enjoyed feeling important, wanted, special. It was the way she would sometimes feel around Brittany and that really scared her. She thought breaking them up would help both of them but she was quickly realising that try as she might, she just could not get over the bubbly blonde.

She was also fast heading into a downward spiral. She appeared to be fine in public, but a few newspapers had picked up on the bags under her eyes and her lack of a smile. She'd make her appearances during the day and spend most nights either drunk or high or both. She'd always wake up with dried tear tracks on her face and her heart heavy with emotion. She'd drunk dialled Quinn more than once, and her friend had finally threatened to come there and slap the shit out of her if she didn't get her act together. Ofcourse, these conversations would always be followed by Quinn checking on her over the next few days. She thought it was due to the stress of Santana adjusting to this new life, and often seemed confused that Santana seemed to hate it, especially since it was all Santana could talk about when they were younger. Their last conversation hadn't gone very well and Quinn had called Santana out on her bullshit. She'd asked her to come visit her back East but Santana had begged off citing her busy schedule. Quinn relented but only when Santana assured her that she would call a few times during the week no matter how busy they were. She could tell Quinn was worried about her, but she didn't want her to be. Every now and then Santana would want to tell her the truth but she'd chicken out. She'd already lost Brittany and Kurt, there was no way she could survive losing Quinn too.

Jesse seemed to have noticed too, or maybe Will had intervened because he suddenly decided that she needed to get back to work as soon as possible. Which is why she was here at Motta Records being introduced to Marley Rose a young songwriter, whose song Santana was to sing. Santana groaned inwardly, she wanted to write her own stuff, not use songwriters, but whenever she brought it up, Jesse would launch into album sales and demographics and stupid charts that made no sense to anyone, least of all him. Basically she was to use the songs written by her team and this girl was the latest addition. She really hated the upbeat pop anthem that had been given to her to sing. She wasn't in the mood to sing about picking up guys in clubs and asking them to call her. The music and lyrics were both annoying and didn't really suit her voice. Jesse called it a day, and Marley had come up to her and suggested she try a few other songs.

Santana looked at her warily, "Why would I go anywhere with you? Are you like a serial killer?" she asked in a sardonic tone. Marley turned red but held her ground, "I...umm.. I have a few other songs that you may like. I... I think maybe that could be more suited to you.. You didn't seem to like what you sang earlier" she said softly. Santana looked at her in surprise, even Will had said it was a good recording while Santana fumed at the stupidity of what she was being made to do. Maybe it was the girl's sincerity, or her earnest blue eyes, or just the fact that someone actually cared enough about her to say that, that she agreed to go over.

She found herself in Marley's tiny apartment, as the girl played the keyboard and sang a few slower, more bluesy songs that she believed were closer to Santana's range. Santana listened intently to one song that was full of meaning and pain. "What did you write this about?" she asked suddenly. Marley flushed, and mumbled something about not being able to remember. "Bullshit, this song has meaning to you. I can feel the emotion over here, and I'm pretty sure that part of my brain has been inactive for awhile" she retorted. Marley looked at her appraisingly, then told her, "In high school I suffered from bulimia. I... it was difficult to work through. Music helped." she said. Santana nodded, deep in thought. "Can you help me write a song?" she asked suddenly.

A few hours later they had hammered out a ballad that Santana had called 'Longing'. "Wow Santana, I'm impressed, most singers don't care much about songwriting. Actually most singers can't write." Marley said as she played back the rough recording they'd made. "You did most of the work," Santana said from her spot on the floor, as she played with crumpled and discarded balls of paper. "Well you gave me the imagery, the tone, the flow, in what you described. It was easy" she said modestly. "Are you gonna pitch this to Jesse? It should be on the album. It's really good" Marley asked excitedly. "Well we can try" Santana said. Marley nodded as she started to pick up the papers, "You know Santana, I've read a lot of things about you, some not that great, but you're a good person" she said warmly. Santana nodded, not sure how to respond to that compliment. "And this song, the person you wrote it for? They should know." She continued.

Santana's defences went up immediately, "Woah, Upchuck, I didn't write this for anyone in particular, I just wanted to try a different style" she said

Marley looked at her knowingly, "Santana, I've written a lot of songs and I've been around a load of songwriters, we write best when it comes from a place of deep emotion. This song is beautiful and the person you wrote it for, well they're missing out" she said gently

Santana hammered out a few more insults and then left in a hurry. It was only once she was outside that she realized that Marley had said 'they' are missing out and 'they' should know. She never mentioned that it was for a guy.

* * *

Jesse of course hated the song. He said it was dark and depressing and ridiculously emo and Santana should stop wasting time working on this sort of shit. Santana then proceeded to tell Jesse that if he actually tore himself away from the mirror and took the time to find out what music was he would be able to tell the difference. Jesse surprisingly threw her out. She gnashed her teeth as she walked through the halls. Will hurried along to keep track with her, trying desperately to placate her. She suddenly stopped and turned to him, "Tell me the truth Will, was it that bad?" she asked almost desperately.

Will looked at her, then looked around and pulled her into a dark recording room, he flicked on a light and sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit he'd picked up. Santana waited for his answer, her arms crossed across her chest and a slight glare in her eyes. She knew Will's delaying tactics. "Well?" she prompted. Will looked at her and sighed again, "It was good Santana. It was really good" he finally said softly. Santana felt warmth fill her chest and a smile threaten to break out on her face. It meant a lot that he said that. "So why can't this be on the album. You seemed to like it" she asked testily. Will kept rubbing his neck and looking away. "Will, tell me, what's wrong?" she asked. "The thing is Santana, Jesse feels that the tour didn't do enough for you, he thinks that you should capitalize on the present pop influence that seems to be doing the rounds. He won't go for something so...radical" he said hesitantly. Santana looked back at him incredulously, "Radical? How is this radical? Rachel rapping is radical. Finn trying to twerk is radical. Hell, Blaine trying to do anything not top 40 is radical" she snapped, as Will looked even more weary. "This is something I feel very deeply about Will, I want to sing this. Just this one song. I don't care if the rest of the album is crap. I want...I need this song to go out" she said softly, a hint of desperation in his voice. Will's eyes were boring into her face, asking for an explanation but she kept her face impassive. He nodded to himself then smiled tiredly at her, "I'll see what I can do" he said.

* * *

It had been a long day. Hell it had been a long week. Santana stretched and tried to work the kinks out of her shoulders. Will had tried to get Jesse to include Santana's song but he'd refused adamantly saying it did not fit with the pace of the album. Santana had been extremely annoyed and Will was subjected to another rant on how Jesse was a complete moron with an ass for a head. She had thankfully simmered down and focussed on the recording the remaining tracks of the album. They had been working non- stop that day and Santana really needed a break. She smiled at Marley who grinned back at her and gave her a thumbs up as they played the recording. Jesse sat in the booth, the huge headphones making his head somehow look bigger and glared at her every now and then. Finally he closed his eyes in frustration and stood up, effectively ending all conversation. He took a dramatic breath as Santana fought the urge to roll her eyes, and then said, "I don't feel it. It's missing something" he declared glaring at Santana, who in turn glared back at him. "Are you serious right now? What could it possibly be missing. I've sung it so many freaking times with so many damn changes that I don't think it even remotely resembles what it was originally" she said. Jesse just narrowed his eyes at her and then announced, "It lacks soul". He smiled gleefully as if he'd just found the cure to cancer. Santana on the other hand needed to be held back by Will. "Soul? What would you ever know about soul? What soul could I possibly put into this? I mean seriously, this song is only going to be played at eight year old kid's birthday parties and Japanese businessmen karaoke sessions" she said testily, struggling to free herself from Will's death grip on her jacket. Jesse looked extremely affronted but before he could open his mouth to say anything, Will cut in, "Look, it's been a long day. How about we start afresh tomorrow huh? These tired eyes and ears will do us no good right now" he said in his faux cheerful tone as he carefully began dragging an irritated Santana away.

* * *

"I don't need time off" she yelled into the phone

"Well think of it as some time to regroup, relax and get your energy up" came back Will's cheerful voice over the phone.

"I am fucking relaxed" she replied through gritted teeth

"Santana, if not for you, do it for the album. You and Jesse have been at each other's throats a lot now and it's affecting the recording. Just take the rest of the week off and we'll get back to work tomorrow" Will said gently.

Santana knew what he said was true but she didn't want to admit it. Another thing that she didn't want to admit was that now that she didn't have work, she literally had nothing to do. Quinn was busy, Dave had practice, and she didn't feel like hitting up the numerous parties all by herself. It was weird, she had no dearth of invites to events but lately, all the heady enjoyment she would get out of these things was lost.

"Fine. I needed to go hit up a party or two anyway" she said in what she hoped was a nonchalant tone.

"Would you like me to come with you?" she heard Will ask and almost hung up the phone in mortification.

"Why in fuck's name would I want that?" she said testily. _Oh God! Am I really that pathetic that Will of all people can see through me? Is it really that obvious?_

"You just seem...sad. I want to be sure that you're ok" he said in that same gentle tone which was getting on her nerves.

"Oh I think I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. Infact you can use this time to get kinky with that lil girlfriend of yours" she said and hung up to Will spluttering.

* * *

She wasn't quite sure how it had transpired but she was sitting at a bar drinking cocktails with Marley. Actually she would forever deny that they'd ever hung out, but something about the soft spoken girl made her feel a little at ease. She was probably one of the few people who didn't seem like she wanted something from Santana, well besides her singing her songs of course. They sat at the bar itself, away from the rest of the crowd that was absorbed in the wailing of a young girl thanks to open mic night. She winced at the horrible sound and turned her attention back to Marley who was blushing and putting away her phone. "Is he any good" she asked with a smirk.

Marley looked confused, "Is who good?" she asked

Santana's smirk grew bigger. "The boytoy who's sexting you. Has he got any game?" she asked, watching Marley's blush bloom deeper across her face

"He's not.. we're not sexting. He's just a friend" she said in a near whisper looking embarrassed.

"Oh honey, that blush on your face says otherwise. If you'll are just friends, Jesse and I are freaking soulmates" Santana said as she downed the last of her drink.

Marley smiled to herself, "I like him. He's really sweet to me. I just... I'm not sure I want to be in a relationship. He's got a bit of a reputation. I think being friends, we'll get to know each other better" she said to a silent Santana.

"Well good luck keeping that sexual frustration in check. Hey maybe you can get tips managing it from Jesse, God knows he hasn't been laid in awhile" Santana said smirking to herself as Marley laughed.

"What about you? Is there... do you have anyone special in your life?" Marley asked her quietly.

Santana's deer in the headlight look was further amplified when a large spotlight actually focused on her. "What the f..." she started to say as she squinted into the beam. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have someone special in the house. Let's put our hands together for Santana Lopez" came a voice over the speaker. Santana was flustered, who the fuck was that and what was she supposed to perform? She heard clapping and suddenly everyone's attention in the bar was on her. She saw a young guy standing on the small stage in the corner. She shielded her eyes and the spotlight went off, "I'm not working" she yelled playfully smiling at the weird guy. "Just one song, it's like a rite of passage" he replied as he gestured around to the framed pictures of celebrities who had visited the bar. Santana sighed but she wasn't going to turn him down. She needed all the publicity she could get. She suddenly smiled broadly to herself and bent down to whisper in Marley's ear.

She stood on the stage and looked around the small bar. It was pretty full and most of the people seemed to know who she was. She smiled at them and spoke into the microphone, "Well since I was asked so nicely, and it is a rite of passage, I would like to perform a song for you. Umm.. It's a little different from my normal style but I hope you like it. Marley Rose will be accompanying me on the piano" she said as she gestured to the nervous girl posed at piano behind her. She took a deep breath as the opening notes of "Longing" began to play, and without hesitation launched into the song. She knew chances of the song ever being released were slim so she put all her emotions into it. With every word she tried to express just how much she missed _her,_ every soft note held meaning. Santana closed her eyes and imagined it was just the two of them and she was telling her just how much she meant to the singer. The piano faded with the last few notes and the sudden applause snapped her back to reality. She smiled and gently wiped the stray tear that made it's way down her cheek as she faced audience that were now on its feet. Everyone was on their feet clapping and cheering her and Santana smiled gratefully. The stripped down piano version sounded beautiful and Santana smiled warmly at Marley. The bar owner came back onto the stage to congratulate her and to tell her that he would definitely be buying that single on itunes. She smiled ruefully at him and dragged Marley away. The young songwriter looked troubled, "Santana, that was so good. You totally nailed it." she said. Santana smiled in acknowledgement. Marley glanced at the crowd, the troubled look still on her face. "Why do you look like your puppy died?" Santana asked basking in the attention from the crowd. "I dunno... I just feel like this little stunt is going to get us into trouble" Marley said.

* * *

It did get them into trouble. Apparently someone had vidoetaped it on their cellphone and posted it on youtube. It had gone viral. Within a few hours it had registered a huge amount of hits and was all over twitter and other social media. Will had come over in the afternoon. "Why'd you do it Santana?" he asked in a dejected tone as they stared at the increasing number of hits on the youtube page. She shrugged, not sure why herself. All she knew was that singing it made her feel like she was talking to _her_, like she could express what was going on in her head better and that's all that had mattered. "What's going to happen? Will I get fired?" she asked as casually as she could, the waver in her voice betraying her confident demeanour. Will rubbed his neck and looked at her, "I'm not sure" he replied. The silence was broken by the shrill sound of Will's cellphone and they both looked down to see Jesse's name flashing on the screen.

* * *

**Review pls? **

**Also I dont have a tumblr account but you could always IM me and I'd try to get back to you, even if it's just to say hi :) **


	12. Chapter 12

**So we're finally at Grammy night! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee**

* * *

It turned out that Jesse was extremely pissed off that she'd pulled such a stunt. He was so pissed that poor Will was unable to decipher anything Jesse was saying because he was literally spluttering with rage over the phone. Santana mumbled that Will should be thankful that it was over the phone otherwise he'd need an umbrella, earning her a reproachful look from her manager. She felt guilty that Will was being chewed out because of her. She felt even guiltier that they could both lose their job, but Jesse decided against it. Infact he told Will he wanted Santana and him at the studio on Monday so they could record "Longing" so they could put it on the album. Santana found it extremely difficult to contain her smile after that.

Jesse had decided that Santana wasn't even worth his attention anymore. He rarely addressed her except to give her musical direction, everything else was said to Will and asked to be relayed to his "client". Santana preferred this arrangement and wasn't the slightest bit offended by it, on the contrary she wished she'd pulled something like this sooner. The youtube version was already a hit. They decided to keep the piano as the main instrument and just flesh it out with light guitar and strings. The overall effect was amazing and Santana couldn't be prouder. She out everything into the recording knowing that she was actually singing to just one person, and she gave it all she had. When she was done Will had smiled a small smile and squeezed her shoulder, "She'll love it" was all he said.

A few months later, the sales for the single "Longing" soared, the song quickly entering into the charts. Radio playtime and the inclusion of it for a pivotal scene in a drama series just made sure the song was playing everywhere. Santana was extremely satisfied with the song's progress but as the days went by, she felt dejected. Brittany hadn't even tried to contact her. Thinking back she was wondering why the blonde even would. She slowly sunk back into her bubble of depression when she heard no word from the dancer. Even the envelope informing her that she had been nominated for a Grammy Award did not fill her with happiness like she thought it would. She gave herself a mental shake as she held the envelope in her hands, here she was actually living out her dream, nominated for a song that she'd written without any help from Jesse, and all she could do was pine about a girl. It was pathetic. She called Will to tell him the good news and allowed herself a quiet chuckle at her manager's obvious delight.

Jesse had been driving her insane. He'd actually got someone to teach her how to walk up on to the stage. "I can walk Jesse, I've been doing it since I was two and unlike you I didn't need anyone's coattails to hang on to" she'd lashed out in annoyance when he introduced her to her "trainer". He'd also written out her acceptance speech and made her practice her gracious loser face. She'd told him the only 'loser face' she knew was his and Will had needed to intervene again before it came to actual blows.

On the day of the ceremony she sipped on coffee as she tried to get the stale taste of last night's alcohol off her tongue. She was so frustrated with Jesse and his need to control every aspect of her life, she still felt guilty about going rogue on Will mostly because she knew he was still disappointed in him, she felt terribly lonely because Quinn had an important exam that she just couldn't blow off and couldn't make it and Dave was long gone from the picture but more importantly she missed Brittany. She closed her eyes as she imagined opening the envelope with the blonde, how they'd scream in delight and hold on to each other, how they'd 'celebrate' her nomination on the living room floor and maybe again at the record label. She could imagine the sparkle in Brittany's eyes and how pretty she'd look as she accompanied her down the red carpet. She imagined how they'd call out her name and she'd smile and kiss her gently before going up to collect her award, and then looking into the crowd for that familiar pair of blue eyes. Santana opened her eyes, her vision blurry because of the unshed tears. _How long is this going to happen? I am so fucking miserable right now. I feel like I've let her down but more importantly, I've let myself down. I don't deserve this award and I sure as hell don't deserve her_. She was pulled out of her thoughts by the phone call from her new stylist.

The residual effects from the alcohol last night still coursed through her system. She felt so numb, so empty as she sat staring out the window. This was supposed to be her day, she was finally on the threshold of the dream life she had envisioned for herself. All her hard work, putting up with her parents absences, her lack of friends, her loneliness and insecurities were all culminating in this, a nomination for an award. But all she could think about was how disappointed she was in herself. Santana Lopez, the fierce, gritty girl from a small town, someone who was literally living the American dream was a fraud.

Suddenly her stylist was in front of her and the rest of the night went by in a haze. She remembered thinking of Kurt a lot, especially when the irritating stylist would ask her questions that she never heard. She remembered arguing with Will when he mentioned Brittany, and then getting out to gulp in fresh air as if it was the only thing tethering her to reality. She remembered pulling up to the prestigious Staples Center, and thinking that she should be awed by where she was. She was on autopilot as she walked the red carpet, answering stupid questions with vague answers, making small talk with other stars and generally putting on a mask of happiness and enthusiasm. Her lifeless eyes would probably betray her, Will noticed and if Kurt were around, he would too as would Quinn and _her. _She smiled and sat in her seat as the host LL Cool J came on stage, not registering the rest of the night till her name was called and she went up to accept the award from Katy Perry. She was still on autopilot as she took the award, till she walked to the microphone, till she saw Jesse's smug smirk, till she looked out and saw the plastic faces of the people she wanted to be associated with, till she saw Will and his proud smile, till she closed her eyes and saw _her. _

Her mind went blank for a minute and the noise of the crowd died out, all she could hear was the loud thudding of her heart and her brain screaming at her to not do what she was going to do. She tried taking a deep breath but she felt choked, she'd never felt so scared in her life because she knew what she was about to do was going to change everything. She stepped up to the microphone and swallowed to ease her dry throat, her palms were sweating and she held on to the award tighter, willing it to ground her as she spoke. All eyes were on her and she told herself to just do it. She opened her mouth and said, "This should be one of the greatest moments of my life, but... I can't accept this award from you without telling you who I really am. I owe it to all of you, my parents, my friends, my fans, and umm to people I've lied to, who I've hurt, I owe you all the truth. Today I answer the questions and put the rumours to rest. Today I would like to tell all of you sitting here as well as the rest of the world watching that I am a lesbian."

She didn't know what to expect as she heard a few hoots, and some clapping but most of the people looked stunned till they realized that the cameras were on them and they clapped dutifully with their fake smiles back in place. Santana was quickly ushered backstage where she saw Will. Her breathing was erratic as she faced her first test, but Will smiled warmly at her and gave her a big hug, "You are certainly a winner tonight" he whispered holding her, as Santana felt relief flood through her and her knees buckle. "I think... I think I need some air" she said, her voice still choked as Will nodded and guided her to a small balcony. She could hear LL Cool J in the background commenting on what had just happened. She looked at Will who'd also heard it and looked at her in concern. "I guess I'd better get used to this huh?" she said as she took in deep breaths of air. She felt so much better, lighter, free; as if a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. She turned to Will and inclined her head asking if they should go inside, when Jesse came barging out onto the balcony, his face red. He was obviously fuming. "What the FUCK was the menaing of that?" he yelled getting right in her face. Santana held firm, her eyes narrowed, "That Jesse, was me finally taking some sort of fucking control over my life" she sneered.

"You can't just say shit like that at the fucking Grammy's. How fucking stupid are you?" he yelled, as Will held him back and people started to gather outside the door leading to the balcony.

Santana glanced at them then stepped closer, lowering her voice, "First of all, I don't like the word stupid. And second of all, I can and I just did. I know I should have handled this better, but I couldn't accept this award without saying it. I want my fans to see me for me, and not some plastic pop princess. I want them to know that I struggled too and I've been there. It's not all rainbows and butterflies for me. But I needed to be true to myself. I want to go on a date with a girl and not have to worry about the press release the next day. I want to walk in a pride parade and feel good about myself. I don't want to try and drink this away or lie to myself about why guys never did it for me. I don't want to hide this side of me anymore. I have to accept who I am, I need to accept me first" she said earnestly looking into his eyes, pleading with him to understand.

Will was still holding Jesse back although his eyes looked suspiciously misty. Jesse however narrowed his eyes in contempt. "That is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. No one cares who you like Lopez, no one cares about your stupid life and your stupid struggle. All people care about is whether your songs are on the radio. You aren't a fucking role model or even anyone of importance. You are even more stupid to announce what you did on stage and I promise you there WILL be repercussions for your stupidity" he sneered, his face turning red again.

Santana looked at him, her mind calm. She sighed, held his gaze and said, "I should've done this a long long time ago. I quit!"

* * *

Santana groaned as her phone rang for the hundredth time that day. She glanced at it, fully intending to reject the call when she saw who the caller was. She swallowed and answered with a tentative "Hello"

"I'm at the terminal, I'll be there in a few hours. I'm guessing your place is a zoo. Send someone to get me. I'll text you the flight details" came back a clipped reply before the caller hung up.

Santana sighed as she received Quinn's flight details. She knew this was bound to happen. She'd already had an emotionally charged call with both her parents who were shocked at the news but were supportive nonetheless, or as supportive as they normally were which meant they basically ignored her. Her mother had asked her if this was a phase, but Santana knew better. This is why her relationships never worked, why she never felt anything for the guys she slept with besides physical relief, why sometimes she caught herself staring at girls in the gym a little longer than necessary. She always told herself she was jealously checking out their bodies, that she wished she had the same bright smile, or shiny hair. Now the truth all made sense. She was out, she was out and not sure how to deal with all of this. Will had been awesome and super supportive, fielding calls and dealing with the press. She would have to issue some sort of press release soon but for now he'd bought her some time. "I want to help Santana. I know the number of a counsellor you could call if you need someone to talk you through this. Just take it easy. One step at a time." He'd told her earnestly as he wrapped her in a warm hug. _Every now and then he does shit that reminds me why I keep him around._

Quinn knocked on the apartment door. She brushed her dishevelled hair out of her face and straightened her clothes. She was right in assuming that Santana's place was a zoo, the paparazzi were camped outside and literally mobbed her when the car pulled up. Thankfully the doorman knew she was coming and she was quickly ushered in but not before mikes were pushed in her face and questions like "Are you the girl Santana has been hiding?" Are you Miss Lopez's special friend?" "What's your name?" were hurled at her accompanied by a million camera flashes. The door opened and Santana stood framed in the doorway, looking tentative. Quinn took her time studying her, the normally put together brunette was wearing sweats and a tank top, her hair was piled into a messy bun and she was wearing her glasses, something she rarely did. Her gaze moved to her face and Quinn noticed the dark circles and red rimmed eyes, that weren't looking at her, she noticed her shoulders slumped and the general air of exhaustion around her friend. She pursed her lips and stepped inside, depositing her bag on the ground and shutting the door. Santana still hadn't said a word but continued to stare into space. Quinn sighed and walked past her, pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses which she filled up and taking one over to the couch sat down and looked enquiringly at the frozen singer.

Santana suddenly seemed to snap out of it and picked up the glass which she drained in one go, making Quinn smirk a little before her face fell back into its impassive mask. She looked on as Santana finally willed herself to look at her, as she took a few tentative steps in her direction, before changing her mind and taking a seat on the armchair opposite Quinn. "So, to what do I owe this pleasure?" she asked hoarsely, her tone teasing, but Quinn could make out the vulnerability in her eyes. She noticed how the Latina sat, like she was expecting a blow, leaning back, careful not to touch her and the blonde's heart melted. "Why didn't you tell me Santana?" she asked softly. "We've known each other for years, why wouldn't you tell me something like this?" Santana looked down, her face getting smaller and Quinn knew she was struggling not to cry, was struggling to keep her mask in place. "I mean this couldn't be something that you just woke up to? You must have had some inkling." She tried again, keeping her voice gentle. Finally Santana looked up at her and poured out the entire story, about meeting Brittany on tour, and how they were in a physical relationship, how Jesse tried to stop them with threats, how she suffered through the months trying to find herself and finally her outburst at the Grammy's two days ago. She said it in a toneless detached voice that Quinn knew well, it was one Santana used when she was protecting herself, when her walls were up and no one could get in. Quinn sighed as her heart broke thinking of what her friend had gone through. She set down her glass and moved over to Santana who actually flinched. Quinn gritted her jaw and then knelt down and swept her into a warm tight hug, trying to make her understand that she did not hate her, that she was there for her. Santana broke down and sobbed in Quinn's arms, as Quinn looked down at her best friend, someone whom she always looked up to because she knew that she would find her way, someone who took shit from no one, not even Quinn, someone she regularly slapped and yelled at but admired nonetheless for doing something so brave was crying in her arms. "Sssh hon, it's ok. It's gonna be ok." She comforted her as she gently rocked Santana in her arms. The singer just held on tighter, her tears soaking Quinn's shirt, but the blonde didn't mind as she tried to placate her friend.

Finally Santana stopped crying, Quinn gently let her go and sat next to her on the floor, linking her arm with hers. Santana rested her head on her shoulder. "How'd your parents take it?" she asked. "Well they were a little shocked. My mom wanted to know if this was some kinda phase like Lindsay Lohan. Dad was amazing. They both told me they still loved me and were very proud of me, especially since I won" she said. Quinn turned her head and kissed her forehead, "Congratulations for that by the way" she said with a smile. Santana nodded. "What about your abuela?" she asked. Santana took a deep breath, her body starting to shake as fresh tears coursed down her face. "She wants nothing to do with me. She said I was an embarrassment to the family and that I should never talk to her or set foot in her house again" she cried. Quinn was stunned, since Santana's parents both worked, she had been cared for by her grandmother since she was a kid, hearing her say these things must have broken the Latina. She put her arm around her and hugged her tighter. "Hey, listen, she doesn't know what she's missing out on. She'll come around. This came as a surprise to her, well to everyone. She probably just needs some time to process it" Quinn said softly, running her hands through the Latina's dark hair. Santana nodded and wiped her eyes with a tissue. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you Quinn. It was not...it hasn't been an easy ride but I had to say it. It had to come out. I'm done hiding" she said. "Do you... do you hate me?" she asked timidly. Quinn looked at her in shock, "Of course not. What you did was very brave, I'm so proud of you. I don't hate you in the slightest. You'll still be my best friend and one of the most annoying people I'll ever know" she joked as she bumped her shoulder into Santana's. Santana smiled gratefully and got up to pour more wine. "So what about this Brittany girl? How did she take the news? Is she happy?" Quinn asked, making Santana's hand falter. "Umm I haven't spoken to her as yet" she replied.

"Wait so let me get this straight. You pull off this stunt for this girl and you haven't had the balls to even call her?" Quinn asked incredulously after Santana explained that she and Brittany were broken up and she hadn't heard from the blonde in months. "I didn't do it for her Q, I did it for me. I needed to let me be me. She...she helped. I can't get over her, I tried, I thought that after all this time I could but I can't." Santana said miserably .

"You love her" Quinn said, her voice stunned.

"Is that a question or a statement?" Santana asked with her trademark eye roll

"Don't bullshit me Santana. I know you. You're in love with this girl" Quinn said her mind quickly catching up, realizing why the brunette seemed so broken, so scared.

"So what if I am Fabray? I do. Yes I do love her, but I fucked things up so bad that I'm not sure she'll even speak to me, let alone date me" Santana said in a raised voice.

"How do you even know that? Have you even tried calling her? Do you even know what she wants?" Quinn asked.

"I can't call her" Santana said softly

"Why the hell not?" Quinn asked.

But Santana didn't reply, and suddenly it made sense to Quinn. Santana wouldn't call Brittany because she was scared. She was vulnerable and exposed and she was scared that the dancer would break her heart into a million pieces. She would rather stay in this purgatory of the unknown than hear Brittany say no. Quinn felt a huge surge of affection for her friend. She walked over to her and lifted her chin, seeing the fear and doubt in her eyes. "Santana, you've got to talk to her. If she means as much to you as you say she does, she deserves to hear from you. She deserves an explanation. Look forget dating and stuff, just go talk to her, she's probably as confused as everyone else is. If it is true love, it will win out in the end" she said as she looked into brown eyes.

Santana nodded, what Quinn was saying made sense, not that she'd ever admit that to the blonde. "Thanks Quinn" she said.

"So you'll go talk to her?" Quinn asked hopefully

Santana nodded.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you guys for your reviews. I appreciate each and every one of them. They motivate me to write faster, and I love reading how you all react to the story. To those who were missing Brittany, I promise loads of Brittana interaction next chapter. **

**Leave me a review on how you liked the chapter. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Without further ado, I present to you, the chapter you've all been waiting for... TA DA!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Glee**

* * *

She found herself outside Brittany's apartment building on a windy fall afternoon. Leaves twirled around her feet in the wind and the sky was cloudy and overcast. It was like a fucking movie except it wasn't. In a movie, she'd confidently march right up to the door and make some sort of beautiful romantic speech and watch as one perfect tear rolled down a perfect cheek before Brittany absolved her of all her sins and they kissed as a testament to the magical love they shared while appropriate mood music swirled to a crescendo in the background. In a movie she would not be standing frozen staring at a door working up the courage to just walk up to it and ring the bell. One part of her didn't want to do this, what if the blonde just said she was done, that there was no hope for them anymore, that that particular ship had sailed. This part of her liked the fact that there was still a small sliver of hope left and did not want to hear the blonde's answer. Once she rang the doorbell, it all became real, it would all be out there and she didn't know how to deal with it. She groaned and rubbed the ball of her hand across her forehead trying to make it stop thinking so much.

Inside the blonde stood at the window and watched the brunette pace up and down. She could literally feel the tension drifting off her. She could make it easy and open the door, walk down the steps, until she stood in front of her. She could make it easy and meet her halfway, but this was something Santana needed to do, she needed to face it herself or she'd always run. So Brittany wrapped her arms around herself and stood watching the singer as she fought her inner demons.

Santana continued pacing up and down. She wished desperately for a cigarette, something she did not do very often but she really needed something to calm her down right now, she was filled with a nervous energy that was just making things worse. _Just do it. Stop being a fucking pussy and just do it! _she kept thinking, but it was easier said than done. She'd never felt this way about anyone before, and that scared her. It frightened her that the dancer mattered so much, that she needed her opinion, that her moods influenced Santana's moods. It terrified her that the blonde could destroy her if she wanted to and there was absolutely nothing Santana could do about it. She had never met someone who had such a power over her entire being and it scared her shitless.

Brittany continued watching Santana outside. The wind had kicked up and was blowing her hair around, obscuring her face, but Brittany didn't need to look at her face to know what she was feeling, she could read her body language, read her moods, sometimes better than even Santana could, and her tension seemed to have increased considerably. A small frown settled on the blonde's forehead, as she continued watching. Suddenly she saw Santana stop and take a deep breath as if she was clearing her head, she squared her shoulders and raised her head and the dancer smiled in pure affection as she realized Santana was putting on her armour, she was shielding herself as she got ready to come in. Brittany loved how strong the singer was, it was one of the things that attracted her in the first place. Blue eyes followed the brunette as she finally made her way to the door.

Santana stood still, her mind absolutely blank as she heard the bell echo inside the house. She heard shuffling behind the door and the sound of it being unlocked before it opened slowly to reveal the love of her life standing in front of her. Blue eyes regarded her with curiosity, and a hint of something else, something she didn't want to think about. Santana quickly took in her appearance, Brittany looked a little gaunt and pale, she had dark circles under her eyes and her hair was put up in a messy bun. She wore sweats and an old ratty tshirt that had seen better days. Comfort clothes. Santana opened her mouth to speak but got choked up. She hated herself for doing this to the blonde. She cleared her throat and managed to whisper, "Can I come in?" The blonde just nodded, and moved away allowing Santana to enter, closing the door behind them both.

* * *

Santana stood awkwardly in the kitchen as Brittany bustled around with a kettle. She kept wringing her hands nervously and opening her mouth to speak but didn't know when to start. Brittany seemed to be ignoring her as she looked through cabinets, pulling out things to them. Santana should have been annoyed but she just stared at the dancer's graceful movements, till she heard her say something. "I'm sorry, What?" she stuttered, the tips of her ears turning red in embarrassment. Brittany held out a mug and asked again, "Would you like some hot chocolate?" Santana looked at her in bewilderment. This was probably the last thing she expected the blonde to ask her. She was prepared for yelling, for tears, for things being thrown at her, and a small part of her was prepared...or rather hoping for a hug, a kiss, some form of reconciliation, but she wasn't prepared to be asked about freaking hot chocolate. But that was Brittany, she never did anything the singer expected. She just took her breath away with her fresh views of life, of love, of everything and she was so damn unlike everyone she knew.

Brittany watched Santana look at her, confusion marring her face as she struggled for an appropriate answer. She set the mugs down gently and said," Its cold outside, you looked cold too. I thought this would warm you up a little. If you want some that is. I was gonna make some for myself anyway. I have coffee if you'd prefer."

Santana looked up suddenly hope glinting in her eyes. "Hot chocolate would be awesome Britt. Thanks." She whispered. Her heart started thudding again, because even through something as trivial as hot chocolate the blonde was showing her that she still cared about her, that she was worried about her being cold, and more importantly she was giving her time to compose herself, gather her wits about her. Santana was sure she loved her more in that moment. She perched on a stool by the breakfast counter and watched the blonde fix her drink. Brittany placed the mugs in front of them and sat opposite Santana silently waiting for her to speak.

Santana wrapped her hands around the mug, letting the warmth from the mug travel into her freezing hands, willing it to travel all over her and give her some fucking courage to open her mouth. She took a tentative sip, and smiled a little as she relished the drink. "This is good" she declared softly as she took another. The tension in the air was palpable. Brittany was content to watch her and wait for her to speak first. Santana took another sip and watched Brittany as she played with the handle of her mug. "Brittany" she whispered. Clear blue eyes locked on to hers, waiting, watching. Santana faltered then looked down into her mug as she said, "Britt, first off please let me say how sorry I am. I acted like a bitch and I'm so sorry. God, I was scared and confused and I know these are like the lamest excuses but I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted that."

"But you did hurt me San" Brittany replied in a quiet voice.

Santana closed her eyes and then opened them again, still staring into the brown swirls of her drink. "I was selfish, I put me before you, before us and I shouldn't have done that. I thought my career was more important, I thought I was more important and I realized I was wrong. I'm so damn unhappy without you. I don't care about my career, about my manager or the fucking record company . I only care about you. I missed you so much." She said her voice heavy with emotion.

"Santana you can't just waltz in here and say this stuff anymore. You were very clear that you didn't want a relationship with me and that you put too much effort and time into your career to throw it all away on some girl" Brittany choked out, her hurt and pain colouring her words making them sting even more.

Santana looked up to see blue tear filled eyes looking back at her. Her heart grew heavy at what she'd done. She walked over to where Brittany was sitting and looked at the woman she loved. Brittany's shoulders were slumped and shaking with silent sobs, Santana preferred anger, anger she could deal with, not this sort of hurt. Brittany looked broken. She tried to take Brittany's hand but the blonde pulled away. Santana felt a wave of rejection was over her but she gently took the blonde's face and turned it towards her. "Brittany, look at me. Please!" she whispered. Brittany continued looking away, tears staining her face as Santana gently brushed them off.

"I didn't want a relationship at that time, because at that time I was so focussed on what I thought I wanted that I never realized that it was right there with me. I thought I'd be happy, that I'd be ok and I didn't need a girlfriend or someone else. I've always believed that, all my life. I never let anyone in and then you came along and I just couldn't imagine my life without you in it. It was like my life before was in black and white and then you came into it and brought colour to it. After you left, it was like I'd been plunged into a hole. I was...losing myself, and I realized I've been an idiot. It was because I missed you so much" she said earnestly.

Brittany sniffled and brushed away a few tears. "You said you didn't want me, didn't want a relationship with me" she said in a broken voice

Santana swallowed as she felt tears fill her eyes. _How could I be such a bitch to her?_ She didn't think she'd ever felt this terrible in her entire life. It was a toxic mixture of guilt, shame and pain that she'd done this to the one person who didn't deserve it. She knelt in front of Brittany, and looked into her eyes, "Brittany at that time I thought I didn't want a relationship. I thought it would be messy but the more I think about it, the more I realize that I do want to have a relationship with you. I want to call you up and talk to you about silly little things, I want to hold you close and cuddle in front of a fire, I want to take you out to dinner and show you off, I want to make love to you over and over and over, I want to make memories with you that we'll look back on our whole lives, I want to make you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to me because you are. You aren't just some girl Brittany. You're THE girl, and I would give up anything, do anything to prove that to you from this moment on. I love you" she confessed, her tone sincere, heartfelt.

Brittany looked down at Santana, as her beautiful words flowed over her. The Latina looked back at her, her brown eyes misty as they gleamed with honesty and love. Brittany reached out to brush away a tear that was making its way down Santana's cheek, and then cupped it gently. "You can't keep doing this to me Santana, you can't keep jerking me around because I can't take it anymore, my heart can't take anymore of this." She said still cupping Santana's cheek, "I want to believe you San, really I do but I'm just so scared of being hurt again. It makes me feel horrible. These past few months, I felt like my world had ended, like the sun had stopped shining and there was no joy in anything. I was such a miserable panda, and I just started pulling myself together, I don't want to have to go through that again."

Santana pulled her up gently so they were facing each other. "You don't have to worry about that Britt. I haven't forgiven myself for hurting you like that, I won't do it again. I'm so sorry."

Brittany felt hope flaring inside her, but then she remembered the dark days without Santana and felt her heart wrench. "I don't know Santana. I don't know if I can do this again." She said.

Santana nodded in understanding. "I get that you're scared Britt, I would be too. I haven't been the best person to you, but that's going to change. We can start over as friends if that's what you want. No pressure, no expectations. I won't force you into anything."

Brittany looked into her brown eyes and all she saw was the girl begging her for another chance. But she had to be sure, so she asked tentatively, "What if...what if friends is all I ever want to be?"

She saw Santana deflate a little, her brown eyes registering hurt, before she quickly covered it up and smiled back at her. "Then that's all we'll be. I just want you in my life Brittany, and if it's just as friends, well I need to make my peace with that."

Brittany nodded and then reached out and hugged Santana tentatively, smiling through her tears as she felt the Latina relax under her touch, the tension leaving both of their bodies. They moved apart quickly and smiled shyly as Brittany held out her pinky to Santana and said "Friends?" and smiled as the brunette linked her own finger through and smiled back.

* * *

Santana lay in bed, her sheets tousled around her, the moonlight filtering through her window suggesting the late hour. She huffed and looked over at her alarm clock that read 3:00 am, and got up with a sigh. She padded to her kitchen and poured herself a glass of whiskey, grimacing as the liquid burned going down her throat. She glanced at her phone held tight in her hand but there was no new message, no new call. She berated herself for thinking that Brittany would call her at 3 am. She was probably asleep like the rest of humanity. Truth be told Santana was a little jealous that Brittany could sleep at all. She missed the blonde's presence terribly. She wished she was curled in bed beside her, her scent all over the pillows, her body warming the bed. She sighed and poured herself another glass as she dialled a number.

"Hello?" answered a groggy voice

"Kurt" she said simply

"Santana? What time is it? Did something happen?" he asked a little blearily

"I'm so sorry, I was such a bitch to you, to everyone. I know you were looking out for me and just trying to be my friend and I didn't need to say the shit that I did. God Kurt you were right, I do love her, I love her so much and I was so scared and took it out on you. I was wrong. I'm so fucking sorry." She blubbered as she tried to stem the tears. _Damn alcohol!_

There was silence on the other end and Santana looked at her phone worried that he'd hung up. The call was still active, so she tentatively said, "Kurt, you still there?"

"I know and I accept your apology. Can I go back to bed now? My face mask needs to be reapplied since I seem to have smeared it all over my phone." He replied testily

"Umm. Oh yeah.. sure.. I guess I'll see you around or whatever" she replied unsure about how the conversation had gone.

"Goodnight" he said before hanging up.

Santana rubbed her hands over her face in weariness as she poured another drink hoping the damn alcohol would help her sleep. Her phone beeped signalling a message.

**Ladyface:- Brunch tomorrow at the usual place. You're buying! **

* * *

Santana rushed into the restaurant as she tried to avoid the paparazzi that were plaguing her constantly since she won the damn Grammy. Unfortunately it was more to do with her declaration of being a lesbian rather than anything to do with her talent. She brushed back her hair as she was shown to her table where Kurt already sat waiting for her reading a newspaper. She took her seat and looked at him tentatively, as he fussed over each fucking fold. "You're late" he finally said to her.

She glared at him before controlling herself. "Damn Paparazzi, should've just said I was a lesbian to begin with and I'da got ma 15 seconds of fame a long time ago." She tried to joke, but Kurt looked at her sympathetically.

"That must not have been easy. Going up there and saying that in front of all those people" he said carefully taking a sip of his horribly fruity looking drink

Santana shrugged noncommittally and said, "Well it was time. I was done hiding, done worrying"

Kurt regarded her carefully again before saying, "How did Jesse take the news?"

"I don't really know. I haven't spoken to him." She replied as she took a long pull of her mimosa.

"I suppose he's busy dealing with the publicity part right now. It's a gamble, coming out. Did Will write it for you?" he asked casually

Santana simply looked at him before setting down her napkin, and standing up. Kurt looked at her in confusion. "Where are you going?" he asked

"I'm leaving. I don't need to sit here and be insulted by you. What I said up there was not easy for me, I had to tell everyone one of my biggest secrets knowing full well that the consequences were gonna be huge but I did it anyway, because I thought it was time to be true to myself, to who I am, and that's why I did it. Cos I 'aint some puppet the damn network that can tell where to go and who to fuck. I did it for me. There was no fucking script and no fucking rehearsal. And the fact that you think that I did this all as a publicity stunt shows me how little you think of me. So I am going to walk out of here Kurt. I really thought we were gonna move past this but I guess that's not going to happen." She hissed, trying not to cause a scene as curious heads looked up at the young star and murmurs and whispers started. She threw some money on the table and stormed out.

She'd just gotten into her car when she heard the passenger door open and saw Kurt slide in. "What the fuck do you want now?"she spat, her humiliation turning into anger. He just stared calmly ahead and told her to drive. "Why the fuck should I listen to you? She asked.

"Because the paparazzi's going crazy taking pictures of the two of us, and I'm sure are going to mob your car. I don't think you want to have this conversation in public." He said, as he looked forward again and nodded at the photographers, as Santana drove them away.

She walked into her apartment and headed to the fridge pulling out a bottle of wine and pouring it in two glasses. She was still so angry and hurt that Kurt would think that. _Does Brittany think that too? Does she think that I did this as part of a publicity stunt and that's why she's scared? Oh God, what if she thinks I'm doing things out of convenience? Fuck this was not supposed to happen ._Her hand gripping the glass was trembling until she felt it being taken gently from her fingers by Kurt.

"Santana, I'm sorry I said this was all a publicity stunt. I didn't know. I haven't really known where you're head's been lately." He said gently

Inspite of everything else she smirked and said "Wanky" causing them both to giggle, easing up the tension in the room.

"It's just... if YOU thought I did it for the publicity, then other people are going to think that too. I didn't do it for the publicity. I wouldn't, just so you know. I just thought it was time to stop lying to myself. I'd hurt Brittany, myself, you... so many people just by lying, trying to get to the top. I was ashamed of what I'd become. It was time to make a choice and I didn't want to be known as someone I was not." She said.

"What about the network then? How was Jesse okay with this?" Kurt asked

"He wasn't. He didn't know. I kinda just sprung it on them. I didn't mean to pick that very moment to say it but I wanted to. I had to." The brunette said

"Wow, Satan went rogue. That's ballsy of you. So what's the punishment you get for that? Is he gonna make you tour some third world country or sing concerts in the rain?" Kurt asked

"I quit just after the award ceremony. Sent an email to Jesse and Mr Motta. I told Will he could take on new clients since I'm not sure I'm gonna be much of a meal ticket for him anymore." She said quietly.

Kurt gasped and screeched. "You quit? But...but you literally gave your blood, sweat and tears to work there. It was your life."

Santana smiled softly, "Yeah it was my life. It isn't anymore. I love music, and I love singing and I still want it to be a big part of my life, but I don't want it to be the only part."

Kurt nodded understandingly, "Brittany" was all he said in reply

"Brittany" Santana sighed.

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**A/N: So I think I'll put this at the end instead. First of all, THANK YOU for the reviews. I LOVED them and read every one. Some of the people who review write stories I really like, so it's kinda cool that they read and like my stuff. :D**

**As for those who are annoyed at all the angst and drama, well Santana is a bit of a drama queen and she was genuinely confused about her situation. Hopefully she's on her way to making amends and you can look forward to a little fluff maybe. **

**Please drop me a review telling me what you liked or didn't and maybe what you want to see. :)**

**Till next time... **


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you for all the reviews guys, you are all awesome! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee**

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The week had been uneventful besides the paparazzi plaguing Santana, camping outside her apartment building and trying to bombard her with questions about her mystery lover every chance they got. She was actually glad that she and Brittany weren't dating, unsure of how the blonde would handle the pressure of the throng of reporters that always followed her around. She would sneak off to see the dancer as often as their schedules would allow, well, as often as Brittany's schedule would allow for it since she was currently unemployed. The only way she'd managed to swear Kurt to secrecy was by promising she'd tell Brittany about it soon.

At the end of the week Santana sat in the boardroom waiting for her meeting with Mr Motta. She checked her phone and saw she had two new messages. One from Brittany and one from Kurt.

**Britt Britt: Wanna go for ice cream later on? **

She replied instantly- **Yes** :)

Her relationship with the blonde of late had been her rock. She hadn't told Brittany that she had left the company, not till everything was final. They were taking things really slow, hanging out at coffee shops and each other's houses. Santana wasn't ready to share her with the world yet. They rarely touched, because the singer wasn't sure she could control herself. She longed for the blonde like never before but stayed true to her word that she wouldn't push her to do anything. Being just friends took more out of the her than she'd bargained for. Thanks to the nature of their relationship she felt it completely normal to cuddle or hold hands with the blonde, and do coupley things, things that she couldn't do now. It was a bittersweet torture but she endured it, because she'd rather have something than nothing at all.

She scrolled to the next text which was from Kurt that simply read- **COURAGE**!

He knew she was meeting with the owner of the label and she was a little nervous. Her lawyer had looked over all her paperwork and declared she wasn't in violation of her contract. She'd requested this meeting just between her and Mr Motta, she figured she owed him that.

The door opened and the owner walked in. Mr Motta was a tall impressive man, well built with thick brown hair and piercing green eyes. He dressed tastefully and impressively in a dark blue power suit with a crisp white shirt and deep crimson tie. He could be mistaken for a lawyer or a politician and definitely not the owner of a record label, although there were rumours about him being involved with the mafia. Santana stood up and shook his hand. "Mr Motta, Thank you for seeing me." She said.

"Miss Lopez I hope you understand that I don't generally do this. There is a hierarchy here at this label and it's in place for a reason. That being said, I understand there was a misunderstanding between you and Mr Saint-James at the Grammys." He said in his deep voice as he seated himself behind his desk and folded his hands under his chin.

Santana bristled at that but still managed to keep her composure. "There was no misunderstanding. Jesse is a manipulative, controlling, power hungry publicity whore. He actually told me to hide my sexuality, to hide a part of who I am in order to sell myself to the public. The way I see it, whether I am gay, bi or straight makes no difference to the songs I sing."

Mr Motta sighed, "Look Ms Lopez, we signed you because of your talent. We believe you are very good at what you do and that's why we put in the little extra trouble. These days it isn't just about the music, it's about the attitude, it's about the image. I imagine you must already know that."

"So what? It's not ok for me to see girls but the guys from the Warblers can date other guys? And what about some of the other artists in the label? They're into all sorts of shit" she said angrily.

Mr Motta looked irritated. "Miss Lopez. It seems like Mr Saint-James may have been a little... over-zealous in the way he wanted to brand you, I think he was only doing it for your own good and the sake of your career. Sometimes unfortunately sacrifices need to be made" he said evenly.

Santana looked at him in disgust, "Nothing Jesse ever did was about me! He wanted to further his own career and didn't want to have to deal with the backlash of employing a lesbian singer because it wouldn't look good for him. I'm not stupid! And as for sacrifices, that's a load of horsecrap! You have no idea about the sacrifices I've made, you don't even know anything about me, so don't pretend you do" she said almost yelling now, her defensive side naturally taking over. She hated being backed into a corner and some of the things Mr Motta said made her really mad.

Mr Motta glared at her, "Ms Lopez, I run a record label. I know how this fucking business works. We look at fans and ratings plain and simple, if we think something is not working out for us we get rid of it. You just publicly declared yourself a lesbian, you aren't going to have many offers from labels to work with. But I have decided to offer you a second chance, inspite of the little stunt that you pulled at the Grammy's. So get off your high horse and stop all the self righteous crap you're spewing."

Santana took a deep breath trying to control her breathing. She knew she had the tendency to fly off the handle sometimes and she knew now was not the time to fuck things up. Mr Motta saw her calm down and stood up. "Have your agent call Mr Saint- James and fix up an appointment with him, I would really like to get this over with. And Miss Lopez, this is your career, it's not just about some girl. Give it a nice long think, because you aren't always going to be offered a second chance. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting" he said as he strode out of the room leaving a deflated looking Santana behind.

* * *

Santana blinked as fingers snapped in front of her face. She turned her head to see Brittany looking at her in concern, "Where were you? Is everything ok?" she asked softly. Santana smiled and nodded not trusting herself to speak. Her meeting with Mr Motta played on her mind. She was really angry after the way he spoke to her, driving back in a rage and yelling at every unfortunate soul that passed her on the road, but as she cooled down she realized that what he said made sense. She really did have no offers and was for all intents and purposes unemployed.

Suddenly she tensed as she felt hands on her shoulders. Brittany stood behind her and gently kneaded her fingers into Santana's flesh. "Britt, what are you doing?" she asked as she struggled to contain the moan that was about to slip out of her mouth.

"I'm giving you a massage silly. You look really tense and I'm trying to make it better" she whispered as she continued massaging the singer's shoulders. Santana groaned quietly as she dropped her head enjoying the blonde's nimble fingers, cold from holding the ice cream earlier, rub away the tension.

"Talk to me Santana" she said as she massaged lower down her back. Santana just groaned feeling more relaxed than she had felt in a long time as Brittany's skilful fingers worked on her. She was a little afraid to tell Brittany about all of this. Things had been light and easy between them so far, and she didn't want to bring up the stupid record company that had caused all the fucking trouble in the first place. Plus she really didn't want to spend their precious time focussing on her problems. "It's nothing Britt, don't worry about it. Just some..umm.. work stuff" she said. Brittany leaned forward slightly to whisper in Santana's ear causing a shiver to run down her back and goosebumps to erupt on her arms. "Maybe I can help?" Santana's mind went blank as all she could focus on was the delicious puff of air from Brittany's mouth on her skin, a feeling that ended too soon for her liking as the blonde straightened up._ Maybe I should just tell her, there's no point in drawing this out. Plus Britt is a genius, she'll know what to do._ "I uh... I need to tell you something Britt" she said Brittany's hands stilled and she came around to face Santana, cocking her head slightly to the side as she prepared to listen.

"I kinda quit the record company after I got my Grammy." She said as she looked at Brittany. Brittany didn't react except for a slight tightening around her eyes as she nodded for Santana to continue, knowing that the brunette had more to tell her.

"I don't know whether you even watched it but I basically outed myself in my acceptance speech, and after that Jesse and I.. we kinda had a bit of a yelling match and I told the douchebag that I quit. I'd had had enough of them trying to control me. Anyway I had a meeting with the owner of the label today, Mr Motta, and he gave me another chance to work with them provided I get my shit together. He told me not many people who fuck up like I did get a second chance at working with a major label like his and I should consider it." she said in one big breath.

Brittany paused studying her, "But...?" she prompted gently

"But I don't want to work for them. I don't want to work under that ignoramus douche Jesse who will never know talent even if it kicked him in his non existent nuts. I am really grateful for what they did in launching my career but I want to work with someone who promotes my music and not my looks. Don't get me wrong I know this bod is smoking and helps, but I aint gonna parade myself around on a stage like a fucking stripper. I want... no I need to be taken seriously." She said earnestly.

"Well what do you think your options are?" Brittany asked gently as she moved back behind Santana and picked up from where she left off, massaging her neck.

Santana sighed and her shoulders slumped in defeat as she whispered, "I don't have any other options. Even Will thinks it's a good idea. He says now that the lesbian thing is out of the way I don't have to worry anymore"

Brittany faced Santana and pulled her up off the chair and dragged her to the bathroom. "Where are we going?" Santana asked in confusion wondering why they were going to the bathroom. Brittany let go of her hand and started drawing a bath, adding a few bath salts and bubble bath, she then lit some sort of scented candle and turned to Santana. "This is what you're gonna do. You're gonna soak in a relaxing bath while I make us some dinner, then you're going to get into bed and sleep. You don't need to make this decision tonight. Just for tonight, forget this exists, just relax and tomorrow when you're feeling better you'll go into that meeting and figure things out," Brittany said gently as she pulled Santana in for a long lingering hug. "It's gonna be ok honey"

Ten minutes later Santana sat in the bath with a goofy smile on her face. Brittany had hugged her and called her honey. She'd walked in two minutes ago to check on her and gave her a small kiss on her forehead. Santana was filled with warmth and contentment as she imagined how living with Brittany would be. She saw a tiny yellow rubber duck and entertained herself by dunking it under the water and calling it Commander Quack. She had just finished making absurd quacking noises when she noticed Brittany standing by the door, her expression unreadable. Santana immediately blushed, hoping the blonde hadn't seen or heard anything.

"I got you some sweats that you could change into. Dinner's gonna be ready soon so we can eat or you can soak for a little longer if you like" she said warmly as she perched on the edge of the tub. Santana drew her legs up to her chest and leaned back as she looked at the blonde, "Thank you Brittany, for everything. I really appreciate it." The blonde smiled shyly back at her before getting up and reaching for a towel which she tossed at Santana's face. She giggled at the latina's shriek before yelling "Get yo ass up" over her shoulder as she walked out.

* * *

When Santana walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, she found Brittany setting the small breakfast table. She helped her and poured the wine she'd set out before pulling out the dancer's chair for her. "Why thank you ma'am." She drawled as Santana giggled. Brittany had made spaghetti which was one of Santana's favourites. They shared some wine and laughed at random things that had happened during Brittany's day. Santana felt better than she had all day, being with Brittany just eased all her worries. After her second glass of wine, Santana felt her eyes growing heavy. The stress of the day, the massage, the bath had all made her really sleepy and she could barely keep her eyes open. She felt strong arms on either side of her as Brittany helped her up and walked her to her bedroom. "I...sleep.. on couch if you want" she mumbled but Brittany made soft hushing sounds and tucked her into bed. Santana was so groggy that she fell asleep instantly.

She was woken up a little while later by the blonde sliding into bed with her. Santana was surprised, expecting her to sleep in the guest bedroom or on the couch. She sighed absolutely content when she felt Brittany's long arms wrap around her, cuddling her from behind. She snuggled further into her, as the blonde adjusted herself to fit the smaller girl perfectly. Santana was so damn elated that she could have danced if she wasn't so tired. Just before she fell asleep she heard the blonde whisper, "I believe in you Santana. Things are gonna be ok I promise. Goodnight Commander Quack."

* * *

The early morning light filtered into the room over the two sleeping figures. Somewhere in the room a soft buzzing started up then stopped, and shortly started up again. Brittany stirred and reached for the phone by her bed, squinting as she tried to read who the caller was. She sighed and whispered while slipping out of bed into the bathroom so she wouldn't disturb Santana. Santana however immediately missed the blonde's warmth and her hand crept on the bed searching for her. She woke with a frown on her face just as Brittany stepped out of the bathroom. She smiled at the sleepy brunette, "Hey San, I just got a call from the studio. I need to go fill in for Joe. I'm sorry, you can sleep in if you want" she said as she started to pull out some clothes from her closet. Santana sighed, disappointed that they were being interrupted by the real world. She pulled herself out of bed as Brittany ran into the shower. She put on the coffee maker, smiling to herself as she thought of how the blonde took care of her the previous evening. She quickly set out some juice and cereal for Brittany just as she came into the kitchen.

"Thanks San" she said bashfully as she picked a piece of fruit from the cereal and popped it into her mouth. Santana smiled, happy she could repay Brittany in some way for the previous evening. She wanted to talk about them cuddling or say something. She so desperately just wanted to reach over the table and link their fingers together, kiss her good morning, but she'd promised that she'd be whatever Brittany wanted her to be and she was trying as hard as she could. Brittany's phone buzzing broke her from her reverie. Brittany answered the phone and picked up her empty bowl, depositing it in the sink. She turned and Santana could see that she didn't want to leave either, her eyes looked almost regretful. Santana smiled as she stood up, "Well.. uhh.. I guess I better go" she said softly as she picked up her mug and walked to the kitchen. Brittany stopped her by the door, "If you're free tonight...we could hang out again?" she asked a little tentatively. Santana smiled in relief, just a moment ago she was wondering when she'd see Brittany again. "Sure Britt, I...uh... I could get dinner if you like?" she asked quietly. Brittany grinned happily, "Chinese?" she asked eagerly then danced a little as Santana nodded her head with a smile. Her eyes clouded over, "I should go now or I'll be late" she said, her tone regretful as Santana moved to let her out the door. "I'll see you later?" she asked hopefully and Santana hated the little waver of doubt that her voice held. She reached forward and squeezed Brittany's shoulder, "I'll be there" she said confidently.

* * *

She bounced up the steps to the house smiling broadly when the blonde answered the door and literally dragged her in. They giggled at each other as Brittany held on to her stomach comically, "I'm staaaaaaarving San. What took you so long?" she asked. Santana laughed and apologized, "Sorry Britt. My meeting ran late. Will wanted to talk strategy. Anyway I got you a surprise," she said and pulled out their dinner along with a tub of Brittany's favourite ice cream from her bag. She giggled again as Brittany snatched the tub and held it out doing a happy dance. "You're the best! Yay!" she squealed throwing her arms around Santana's neck. Santana stiffened slightly, their lips really close together. She forced her eyes to look upwards into Brittany's blue eyes instead. The dancer looked conflicted for a minute before moving away, her ears turning red. "Umm... I'm gonna get some plates. Why don't you pick a movie or something?" she said as she disappeared into the kitchen, leaving a very disappointed Santana standing behind.

Brittany stood with her hands resting on her kitchen counter, staring out the small window above the sink. It was so easy to get caught up with Santana, so easy to just forget that she'd basically ripped out her heart. She still loved her so much but she was so damn scared and being friends would help her adjust to this new dynamic they had. But she had almost kissed Santana just now, and the brunette had desperately wanted it. Brittany wasn't stupid, she could see it in her eyes, how she relished each cuddle, each touch and Brittany wanted to give it to her but she was just so wary of having her heart break again. She'd completely derailed after Santana broke up with her the first time. Mike and Kurt had come to visit her and literally pulled her out of her funk. She'd still break down when she'd watch Santana on tv or read about her in the papers. Her heart broke all over again when she saw her dating that disgusting football player David Karoffsky. She was just healing when Santana had shown up on her doorstep. She couldn't say no to her, so she agreed to be friends.

Tan arms circled her waist and a raspy voice whispered in her ear, "Talk to me Britt. What's wrong?" Brittany closed her eyes, loving the feel of the singer hugging her, making her feel better already. "Nothing" she mumbled as she remained still, hoping that the brunette would continue holding her. Santana dropped her hands and gently turned the dancer around till she was facing her, "Hey? Look at me?" she said softly. Brittany looked up and Santana saw the uncertainty swirl in her eyes. She knew what was going on, knew that her being around was difficult for the blonde, all the feelings they always had were still there. They were probably stronger. "Do you want me to go?" she asked hesitantly. Brittany's eyes widened in alarm as she shook her head furiously, prompting a self satisfied smirk from Santana. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the Latina's neck smiling at the soft sigh that both of them released at the contact. They stood like that till Brittany felt her melancholy disappear, she smiled and gently moved away, smiling at Santana's pout. "Let's eat" she said softly, not wanting to break the spell they were under.

They sat on the couch, eating from cartons of Chinese food, both dipping their chopsticks into the other's meal to pull out a piece of shrimp or pork. The tv was turned on to some reality show that none of them were really watching. They stretched back on the sofa when they were done eating and propped their feet up on the coffee table that also held empty beer bottles and cartons. An advertisement for the Warbler's new album played on the screen and Santana became quiet. Brittany knew she was thinking about Kurt, but was too proud to ask her. "Kurt's been doing good. He's started working at Vogue and is thinking of launching his own fashion label soon. He and Blaine are still together. They're cute." She said simply as she watched Santana for a reaction. The Latina just nodded, although her eyes told a different story. They flashed with pain and then pride before settling back to normal as Santana tried to mask her emotions. Brittany smiled fondly, she always loved the singers eyes. When Santana would sing, whether on stage or sometimes just to her, the emotion and depth in them always sent shivers down her spine. _Her eyes are her best feature, well her eyes and her ass, ok her boobs as well and her tongue, oh and her voice and maybe her legs. Wait did she just say something. Shit!_ Santana was looking at her in concern, "Is everything ok? You look a little flushed" she said raising an arm to Brittany's forehead to check her temperature. Brittany gently grabbed her hand and held it, entwining their fingers while Santana's look of confusion turned into one of uncertainty. Her eyes searched Brittany's for reasons to what she was doing. Brittany just held her hand and moved closer till she was sitting alongside Santana and then she gently snuggled into her side and wrapped her arms loosely around Santana's waist. Santana felt giddy with joy. "I missed this. I like cuddling with you" she murmured into her side. Santana got comfortable and draped her arm around Brittany's back, holding the blonde closer as they turned their attention back to the tv. She really wanted to kiss her, really wanted to do so much more, but right now she would take what she got.

* * *

**So this was a filler chapter of sorts, just to give you'll a break from the drama and some Brittana interaction. **

**They both want it, how do you think they should get together? :P **

**Next chapter- More Brittana and Jesse's back! **

**Till next time :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Surprise! Just because! ;) **

**This chapter is dedicated to StephaniieC. I dunno if this was what you were hoping for but I'm dedicating it to you anyway, just cos you always review and that's awesome! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee**

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Images flickered on the muted tv screen as Santana rubbed her weary eyes and looked down at the peacefully sleeping blonde snuggled into her. She smiles as she brushes hair out of Brittany's face and sighs at how perfect this feels. Brittany was beginning to let her guard down around, her eyes sparkling with warmth and not clouded with grief and doubt as they were sometimes wont to do. She still feels terrible for all the pain and hurt she's caused her. Sometimes she wonders if she even deserves her, deserves her forgiveness, deserves her love. She shifts slightly, causing the blonde to mumble and open one eye. "Hey...It's late Britt, I should go" she whispered, trying to extract herself from the blonde's embrace. Brittany apparently had other plans and just held on tighter, "Don't leave...stay...please" she slurred, her voice heavy with sleep. Santana's heart soared, and she nodded turning off the tv and trying to get Brittany to her bed. When they reached her bedroom, Brittany fell on to the bed and then reached for Santana, cuddling into her and promptly falling asleep.

Brittany woke the next morning to an empty bed. She pouted wondering if Santana left, but smiled instantly as she heard her humming in the kitchen. She buried her face in her pillow, giddiness overtaking her as she could breathe in traces of Santana. It was a heavenly scent, one that both unsettled her and calmed at the same time. She got out of bed and walked to the kitchen to see the brunette fixing them breakfast and her heart swelled at the sight. Santana had really being trying so hard to win back her approval and she wanted so badly to just give in to her. She suddenly felt brown eyes on her and looked up to see Santana watching her warily, wondering if making breakfast was ok. She smiled a sunny smile at her and proceeded to walk over to where she was standing and enveloped her in a tight hug. "Good morning" she whispered into raven hair. They just held each other until Santana shifted, cursing as she smelled the bacon burning. Brittany giggled in delight, loving how they could still so easily get wrapped up in each other. Santana smiled bashfully and then nudged Brittany towards the tiny breakfast table, joining her shortly with breakfast for the two of them.

After breakfast Santana sighed and looked at the clock, "Britt, I need to go to my apartment. I.. uh.. I need a change of clothes and really need a shower" she said with a small frown. Brittany knew her well enough to know that she didn't want to leave her, or this little bubble they'd created. "How about I come with you?" she asked hesitantly. Santana perked up, a grin on her face. "Sure" she said as she got up, "I'd like that". They did the dishes and then Santana got on the phone mumbling something as they made their way to her apartment. Her doorman was waiting at the curb along with a bunch of paparazzi that pounced as soon as her car pulled to a stop. Brittany suddenly realized why Santana insisted she wear a baseball hat and sunglasses. She smiled at the doorman who quickly tried to create a path through the throng. The paparazzi mobbed her asking if she was Santana's girlfriend and trying to get a picture of her face. She felt a strong protective arm around her, guiding her inside the building until they were inside. Brittany breathed a sigh of relief as the doors closed, "Wow! That was...just...wow" she said as she looked down to see Santana retract her arm and move away. Santana looked over at her, "It's been this way ever since the Grammy's. They pester everyone who comes to the building. They totally mobbed Quinn asking if she was my secret girlfriend. It's pretty intense" she said as they walked into the apartment. "Umm.. make yourself comfortable. I'm gonna take a quick shower and then we can hang out or something" she said as she walked away.

Brittany flicked through at the channels on tv but there was nothing on that interested her. She got up and walked to a showcase that held Santana's Grammy award. She touched it lightly as she flashed back to that night. She was sitting on the couch following every damn word and when Santana's name was announced as the winner she almost burst with pride. The Latina looked so beautiful as she gracefully accepted the award and stepped to the microphone. Brittany was pretty sure she'd had a mild heart attack when Santana announced she was a lesbian. She'd stared at the tv, her mind racing, trying to understand what Santana was doing, and why she had chosen THAT particular time to say it. Her cheeks were wet with tears, and she raised a hand to them in surprise, not knowing whether they were tears of sadness or relief. Her thoughts were broken by Santana's voice behind her.

Brittany turned suddenly and saw the singer looking at her apprehensively, her hair wet from the shower, twisting her fingers in the hem of her shirt. "I never congratulated you" she heard herself say, her voice sounding distant. Santana looked even more freaked and she just nodded, "Thanks" she said quietly. Brittany turned back and then sat on the couch. Santana followed suit, and then looked apprehensively at her again. "What made you suddenly make that speech at the Grammy's?" Brittany asked. Santana looked into blue eyes, "It was time Britt Britt. I was done with everyone telling me how to live and how to behave. I just wanted to be me, you know. I guess this was kinda the first step to accepting who I was, saying that out loud." She said. Brittany nodded as she seemed to process this information. "Do you regret it?" she asked. Santana paused and looked deep into Brittany's eyes trying to understand why she would ask her this. "No Britt. I don't. I mean I wish I had thought it over and told people who were important to me like my family and ...friends first, but no I don't regret it one bit" she affirmed, hoping Brittany wouldn't read too much into the pause before she said friends. Brittany didn't but sat up until she was face to face with Santana and asked softly, "How did your family take it? Were they ok? Are you ok?" Santana smiled, this is why she loved this girl. She just knew her, without trying, she just knew her. "My parents were ok with it, my grandmother was a different story. She kinda disowned me" she said shrugging it off. Brittany's eyes softened, and she reached forward to pull the Latina into a hug. "That was brave, what you did" she said as she pulled back and looked into Santana's eyes.

They sat in silence, not really sure what to say. Brittany could see Santana wanting to tell her something, "Did you...did you hear the song?" she asked softly, trying to act nonchalant. "I did" Brittany answered. "Oh..ok" Santana said as she nodded to herself. Brittany watched the Latina struggle with herself, like she wanted to tell her something but she wasn't sure whether she should. "I liked the live version better though" Brittany said, and Santana looked at her in confusion. "I've never performed this song live. I... always refused" she said. Brittany shifted slightly closer. "I meant the version you performed at the bar with just a piano, when you sang it for the first time, I liked that version best" she whispered.

Santana's eyes shot to Brittany's tear filled ones and Brittany saw a surge of hope flare in them. She smiled and wiped the tears away as Santana leaned forward, "You heard it?" she asked eagerly. Brittany nodded, "I..I went out with Kurt that night. I was...upset and he suggested we go to this quaint little bar. He knows the owner so we got a pretty secluded booth in the back and were drinking. Kurt needed to make a phone call and he stepped outside. I heard the owner introduce you and I got up to walk away when you started to sing. It just...I didn't want to hear you Santana, I would turn off the radio whenever any of your songs came on and would not even look at the papers especially when you were dating that bully Karoffsky, but something about your voice made me listen. I heard you sing the entire song" she said, tears leaking from her eyes and running down her face. Santana looked stunned, and her hand hesitantly cupped Brittany's face brushing away some of the tears, "Britt, I didn't know. I never saw you, if I did...I..." she said trailing off looking frustrated with herself.

Brittany leaned her face into Santana's hand, a soft sigh escaping her. "You'd what Santana? What would you have done?" she said, her voice choked. Santana looked torn, "I dunno" she admitted, "But I'd have given anything to see you that night" she said earnestly. Brittany looked away and took a deep breath. She was still hurt and hearing Santana say these things just made it worse. She looked up as Santana began to speak, her eyes firmly focussed on the floor, "I..uh... I wrote this song for you. I wrote how miserable I was without you and how I wanted you back in my life but I was so scared. I hadn't figured out the answers Britt, but I knew I wanted you around. I never performed it anywhere else because it felt wrong. The version they used on the tv show was a recorded one, I refused to record again. Jesse.. he didn't think it had merit but I needed you to know.. I hadn't forgotten you. I still... I still loved you" she whispered, her eyes fearful.

Brittany felt a weight lift off her heart. She remembered those dark days without Santana, when she had discovered that she too was hopelessly in love with the fiery Latina, but she kept pushing her away. Kurt was very sweet and helped her through most of it. She was only just starting to heal when Santana's song hit the radio and was played everywhere. She couldn't bear listening to it because she couldn't bear the thought that Santana was singing like this about someone else, it would drive her crazy and she would turn off the radio and stop going to restaurants and coffee shops that would play this. She almost quit the dance group when someone suggested they do a contemporary dance to it. All this while she figured that the singer was just singing a song that had been written for her, or was singing about someone else, and now that she confessed that the song was for Brittany, she had no idea how to react.

She bowed her head into her hands and let the tears flow, she felt herself being gathered into Santana's arms, as the singer comforted her, pressing kisses to the top of her head and holding her, not saying a word. When she could speak, she looked at her, "It was always for me?" she asked in wonder. Santana smiled, "Was always for you Britt-Britt"

* * *

When Santana suggested they go for a drive, Brittany readily agreed, their previous conversation leaving the air heavier somehow. Santana was even more wary around her and she didn't want her to be. They snuck Santana's car out of the garage and headed towards the coast. It was getting dark and they stopped at a small grocery store to pick up sandwiches, juice and some chips. They reached a deserted stretch of beach and settled on the hood of Santana's car as they ate. Brittany smiled as she lay back against the hood. This felt like the scene from a movie, where she would tell Santana those three words that were struggling to make their way out of her ever since the singer had shown up at her doorstep begging for forgiveness. She couldn't though, not yet. She trusted Santana, she did but they both needed to work towards this new relationship. Santana looked at her and then reached out and slowly entwined their fingers. Brittany turned to her with a smile, and Santana's trepidation vanished, "Is this ok?" she asked bashfully and Brittany nodded falling even more in love with the Latina. "I just.. I don't want to push you" she said as she shifted a little closer, smiling when Brittany laid her head on her shoulder as they both looked up at the starry sky.

"You're thinking too much again" Brittany mumbled as she felt the tension in the rigid way the singer sat. Santana looked at her confused. "You're thinking too much, like when your head is going to explode 'cos of the thoughts" Brittany explained as she shifted away so she could look into Santana's eyes. Worried brown eyes looked back at her, and Brittany reached out her hand and cupped her cheek, "What's wrong San?" she asked softly. Santana swallowed heavily, then said, "Are we ok, Brittany?" she asked. Brittany detached herself from the brunette and just looked at her. Santana swallowed before she spoke, "It's just, you haven't said much Britt and I dunno.. I feel like I should apologize or...do something. I just don't know what" she said in frustration.

Brittany saw the vulnerability in Santana's face, saw the fear in the rigid tone of her arm and jaw, she reached out her hand and ran it down Santana's face, smiling as the singer closed her eyes and sighed, relaxing instantly. "We're ok" she whispered. Santana's eyes popped open immediately, "Then why does it feel like we're not?" she said.

Brittany sighed and stroked her cheek. She was silent for a minute, as if she wasn't sure she should talk but she took a breath and began, "Santana, I'm so scared that you're gonna get spooked and run off, but I can see you're trying, I want to believe you're trying, for you and for us. I tried to stay away from you, I tried but I can't. It's like there's something that's pulling me to you and I just can't fight it. I know we said we'll take things slow, and we did. These last few weeks have been incredible, I just... I want more now. I want more with you." Brittany said candidly, looking deep into brown eyes. Santana smiled, her eyes sad, "Britt, I'm so sorry I hurt you, I regret it so much and I will try to spend every day making it up to you. Just know that I'm not going anywhere now, I was scared, actually I'm still scared, but if I got you, well... that's all that really matters to me. I can't not have you in my life. That feeling you just spoke about? Like there's a magnet pulling me to you, or like we're tethered by invisible ropes, I feel it too. I meant what I said about not pushing you. I'm happy with whatever you decide, I just want you and if I gotta settle for just a little part, well I'll settle for that" she said earnestly, her eyes sincere hoping the blonde would read just how much she felt for her.

Brittany smiled and cupped the back of the Latina's neck pulling her closer and their lips met in a sweet kiss. Santana responded enthusiastically, kissing the blonde back just as sweetly and sincerely, both of them just content with the other's lips on their own. When they broke apart, Brittany's head rested against Santana's. They could both hear the unspoken question in the air- _what are we?! _"Well... we could be friends that hung out" Brittany said mischievously, then placed a peck on Santana's cheek, "And friends that kiss" she continued as she littered kisses over Santana's jaw smiling at the Latina's soft moans. "And maybe friends that date" she completed as she pulled Santana in for another kiss. Santana's eyes widened in surprise at what the blonde said before she broke away. "You'll date me? I mean we can date?" she asked excitedly. Brittany nodded and laughed when Santana pounced on her and kissed her all over her face.

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**And just cos I was in a good mood.. no Jesse this chapter. But he's gonna be back soon. **

**To the Guest/s who-**

**-Liked the skipping chunks of time format- Thanks so much, I was a little uncertain about that but glad it's not affecting the story. **

**-Wanted to punch Jesse/ hate Jesse/ think he's scum- I think Jesse is such a perfect villain. He's so damn narcissistic and self involved, if you're angry at him, he's doing good as the villain of the story ;)**

**- Loving the awkward friend interaction they have- I sincerely think Brittana will never be "just friends" no matter what! So they HAD to get together soon )**

**-Want them together already- Here you go. :D**

**Thank you guys for your reviews. I love hearing from you'll. See you soon :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Loved the response to the last chapter. Thank you for all your kind comments. I dedicate this chapter to the guest that said this was their favourite WIP. You totally made my day! **

**On a different note, I just finished The Knife Thrower's Daughter and I have to say, I am almost ashamed to write after that. It's just...magic! Read it if you can. **

**SO without further ado...here you go. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee**

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Santana sang in the shower, a smile on her face and hope in her heart. Last night had been amazing, Brittany was amazing. She could not wait to start planning out her date, it had to be special, it had to be magical, nothing else would do. The only dark cloud on her otherwise sunny horizon was the meeting with Jesse St. James and Mr Motta later today. Will had been his optimistic self, sure that things would work out, but Santana wasn't sure. She normally treated people with disdain and kept them at a distance but she'd never really hated anyone until she encountered Jesse. She stepped out of her shower and sees a text from Brittany on her phone, wishing her luck and asking her to call later. Santana smiles, her uneasiness instantly replaced with the good mood she was in earlier. _Everything is going to be ok!_ She thought.

She still sported agoofy smile on her face when Jesse walked into the boardroom, the sneer on his face directed at her. He shook Will's hand and then proceeded to talk on his phone, avoiding all conversation with them. He quickly hung up when Mr Motta walked in and settled himself at the table next to him. He looked at him in adoration while Mr Motta started to speak. "Miss Lopez, Mr Saint-James and I have been going over the album sales of your first album. Unfortunately it did not quite create the impact that we were hoping for, your tour was marginally successful but we were wondering if the response for a solo tour would be the same. We've discussed it at length, and have a proposition for you. My daughter wants very badly to be part of a singing group, I have instructed Mr Saint James to create such a group for her. I believe as lead singer of that group you will do extremely well. Lead vocals are yours, and the rest will sing backup and dance, we've isolated a few dancers who can also sing. I am of the opinion that this kind of group will do extremely well with a young audience, that responds positively to a heavily pop influenced sound."

Santana couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. Not only were they making her part of some stupid girl group but it involved singing along with Mr Motta's very tone deaf, spoiled daughter. Santana remembered her from parties following her around, telling her that they should sing together because she sounded exactly like Adele (a fact Santana highly doubted). She glanced at Will who was looking as shocked as her, before he composed himself and began to speak, "Mr Motta, maybe Santana's first record didn't do all that well but Jesse and I had spoken about changing the musical style a little. It's not every artist that gets her lucky break with their first album, and Santana's tour went off great. She has a good fan base and her new single won her a Grammy. Putting her in a girl group right now will not really help her career." He said earnestly, looking at Jesse hoping he would back him up.

Jesse merely sneered, "That Grammy was pure luck. The New Comer category was weak this year which is why you won. Besides winning a Grammy is nothing. She'll be a one hit wonder after which she'll spend the rest of her life singing at bar mitzvahs and weddings of the rich and famous. Let's be honest here, she screwed up big, and we're offering her an out."

Santana grew angry, "Listen to me Douchebag. We all know you're threatened by my talent because you're a washed up wannabe waste of flesh. My new single was amazing and the only reason you have a problem with it is because you had absolutely nothing to do with it. You wouldn't know talent even if you did ever manage to get your head outta your own ass and open your eyes and ears, but I didn't expect much from you to begin with so I'm not gonna waste my precious breath on you, but Mr Motta, I can't be in a girl group. Shit! I can't even get along with most girls without them hating me. I can do better if you only gave me a chance" she said as she turned from Jesse to Mr Motta

"I am giving you a chance Miss Lopez. This is your chance. Let's give this a try, build up a fan base and then we can talk about a solo career" he said as he leaned back in his chair. Jesse who was looking incensed smirked as he too mimicked Mr Motta and leaned back.

Will looked haggard, as he rubbed his hands over his face, "Can we take some time to think about this?" he asked.

Mr Motta nodded and stood up, "Of course. Just get back to us soon, the offer doesn't stand forever. Mr Saint James will assist you with whatever you need. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to" he said as he stood up and after nodding at them walked out.

Will stood up too and said, "Gimme a minute Santana," and followed Mr Motta out the door leaving a fuming Santana and a smirking Jesse behind.

"You fucking did this" she hissed, her voice low, menacing.

Jesse laughed, "I told you not to mess with me Santana. See, the thing is I am ruthless and I won't let anything get in my way to getting to the top. I hope to run this place someday." He said looking around him with a smile.

"You're making me sing in a fucking girl group you idiot. What makes you think that's gonna do any good? You're precious ratings will drop even more" she said angrily

He laughed, "Oh no Santana, the girl group is just to humiliate you, like you humiliated me. It was surprisingly easy to convince Mr Motta to go along with my idea. His daughter has always hung around me, asking me if she can audition, making my life miserable as she sends me millions of demos of her worthless crap, and Mr Motta refuses to see that that girl hasn't an ounce of talent in her. This way I get two birds with one stone" he smirked again.

Santana was livid. "What makes you think that I will even agree to it, you fucking sonofabitch?" she asked viciously

"Because Santana" Jesse began in a soft menacing voice as he leaned forward, "Because I have the pull to make you or break you in this town, because I know people who know people who will ensure that you don't work again, because nasty little rumours spread like wildfire and because I will make it my personal mission to destroy you and your little dancer girlfriend and make sure neither of you can get a job even flipping burgers" he said

Santana paused for a minute before she lunged. Jesse just about had the time to scramble back before Santana was swinging at his face, yelling insults in Spanish. Will who had walked in just before she jumped, had grabbed her around the waist and pulled her off. Jesse fixed his hair and replaced the look of alarm on his face with one of distaste. "I trust you'll have a talk with your client and make sure she's a little more manageable" he said in passing to Will as he walked out.

* * *

"What the fuck are we supposed to do?" Santana yelled at Will as soon as they reached her apartment. "Not only do I have to be in a fucking girl group but he wants me to sign a two year contract. I have to sing ONLY the songs picked for me and have to give an interview about why I am a lesbian? Seriously?! I am NOT bringing Brittany into this shit. She's been through enough. Besides why does it matter when and why I decided to come out. It's none of their fucking business...No me gusta ..." she raved trailing into Spanish and waving her hands in the air. If it weren't so serious it would have actually been funny. Her phone ringing stopped her and she answered it, only because it was Brittany. She muttered tersely into it and hung up, moving to open the door. Brittany walked in soon after and immediately enveloped her in a hug. Will smiled as he saw Santana's shoulders relax at the blonde's touch. "Hey, it's gonna be ok San" she whispered as she held her tight. Santana suddenly seemed to remember where they were and broke apart from her but linked their pinkies as she pulled Brittany towards Will. Brittany looked down at their linked fingers with a smile and then nodded to Will. He took Santana's shoulders gently and said, "Listen we have some time. I'm going to make it count. Let me try and talk to a couple of other labels and put the word out that you're looking. Maybe you can sign with someone else. We're gonna figure this out alright?" he said earnestly looking into the singer's eyes willing her to believe him. Santana nodded slowly, her hand sliding into Brittany's for comfort. Will's eyes once again flickered down but he didn't say a word, "I'm gonna go make some calls. I'll let you know if I hear anything" he said as he headed out to the door. "Look after her" he said in an undertone as he passed Brittany and Santana felt a thrill of pleasure go down to her toes. Even though they weren't official yet, Will was accepting of Brittany's place in Santana's life and by Brittany's sudden smile, she could feel it too. He left closing the door quietly behind him.

By the time Santana had finished telling Brittany everything they were on her couch, Santana's legs cradled in Brittany's lap as she stroked them soothingly. She pulled Santana closer till she fit into her side and then cuddled into her. "I'm sorry I'm dumping on you Britt" she sighed as she snuggled closer to the blonde. "Thank you for coming to check on me. I'm glad you did" she admitted quietly. Brittany chuckled and pressed a kiss into her hair. "How about we change the subject?" she said brightly. "Will's gonna make some calls and call you back so instead of freaking yourself out, how about we decide when you can take me on your super date?" she asked teasingly. Santana smiled at her and said, "Well does tomorrow sound good?" she asked hopefully and Brittany pretended to think, her eyes sparkling in mischief until Santana playfully hit her arm. "Hey!" she protested and then giggled pulling Santana's face to hers and gently kissing her. "Tomorrow will be awesome" she whispered and kissed her again.

* * *

It was easier to focus on her date with Brittany, on planning out what she wanted to do rather than mope by her silent phone. Will had told her it would take a few days at the least and not to worry but it was pretty impossible not to. She had decided to pick Brittany up from her dance studio after her last class and take her to a classy restaurant that afforded privacy to its patrons. Actually if she really really thought about it, not thinking about Jesse and just focussing on Brittany proved to be not as difficult as she envisioned. She hummed as she imagined how Brittany would light up, and maybe she'd ask her to dance and they'd hold each other under the starlight as soft music played. Santana sighed dreamily and a small part of her wondered what Quinn would think of this new sappy side of hers. Brittany definitely brought out the best in her. _God! She's just so damn perfect!_ She thought as she continued smiling dreamily to herself. Her obnoxious ringtone broke into her perfect moment and she frowned in annoyance until she saw who the caller was. With the goofiest smile ever possible on her face she answered, "Hey BrittBritt...I was just thinking about you" She was not quite prepared to hear Brittany's reply, "San I'm at the hospital"

"It's just a sprain Santana!" said Brittany for what seemed like the thousandth time as Santana fussed over her, rearranging her pillows and making her comfortable. Santana ignored her and went to refill her glass of water which she placed back on her bedside. Brittany smiled at the flustered Latina. "Santanaaaa" she said warmly, drawing out the last syllable. "Come sit with me" she said as she patted the side of the bed next to her. Santana obliged, albeit gingerly making Brittany giggle. "You're not gonna break me San. I just sprained my ankle. It'll be fine in no time" she reassured her as she linked their pinkies together. Santana swallowed and nodded tersely. Brittany reached over and placed a finger under Santana's chin gently drawing her head up so she could look into deep mocha eyes that she loved. "I'm sorry about ruining our date Santana. I know you had it all planned out. I guess... I was a little excited and didn't focus as well today which is why I fell" she mumbled, her ears turning pink. Santana smiled and leaned forward pressing her lips to her forehead, "Don't you worry about that. You just get well and then we can have an even better date than what I had planned" she whispers. They lay silent for a bit, their pinkies linked and breathing even as comfortable silence settles over them. After getting her back from the hospital Santana's done nothing but fuss about Brittany, doing everything she can to make her feel better. Brittany turns her head to Santana, her blue eyes sincere "Thank you for taking care of me San. I know you're busy and have a lot on your mind so if you need to go I understand" she said softly, rubbing her thumb soothingly against Santana's cheek. Santana's eyes flashed in surprise before softening, "Britt" she breathes out, a tinge of amazement in her voice, "I'd rather be here than anywhere else"

Brittany wakes up to an empty room. She looks around her at the dark room speckled with shadows and surmises that it must be late. She briefly wonders where Santana is and sits up, trying to listen out for her. She hears shuffling in the other room and extremely faint humming and a smile quirks at her face. Santana is happy and that makes her happy too. She reaches for the crutches that the doctor lent to her and manages to hobble to the bathroom before making her way to the living room. As soon as she walks out, she gasps. The lighting has been muted with a few scarves thrown over the lamps, and her breakfast table has been pulled to the centre of the room. It's set for two and decorated with candles. She looks around for Santana and sees her standing by the kitchen counter, a nervous look on her face and Brittany all but melts. "Santana...oh my god! This is beautiful!" she exclaims as she takes a few steps further. Santana quickly moves to help her into her seat at the table as she hovers nervously around. Brittany's eyes take in the scene, candlelight, wine and soft music. She looks up to see Santana smile uncertainly and in that moment falls even more in love with her. "I can't believe you did this" she whispers in awe and pulls at Santana's hand making the singer crouch down so they are at the same level. Santana smiles bashfully and says, "I know this isn't what you expected for our first date Britt but I promise to make it up to you when you get better" she said earnestly. Brittany's face remained blank, "You're right, this isn't what I expected" she said causing Santana's face to fall slightly. "It's so much better"

They laughed as they enjoyed takeout dinner that Santana insisted on putting in what she called the fancy dinnerware (which were basically mismatched plates) and sipped wine (soda in Brittany's case) out of tumblers. After dinner Santana helped Brittany over to the couch and asked her to choose the movie (ladies choice! And as she argued, dinner and a movie made for an acceptable first date) Brittany ended up choosing Mama Mia, resulting in them singing along to every single song at the top of their lungs. Brittany made Santana promise to do this every week and Santana who was already giddy with happiness readily agreed. They shared a slice of cheesecake for desert that was sprinkled with dots that Santana secretly found disgusting, but tonight was about Brittany and she had long ago discovered that she would do pretty much anything to make her happy. At the end of the night they both wore the hugest smiles and Santana thought the fluttering, flying feeling in her chest was the best thing ever. She helped Brittany to her bedroom and into bed, the dancer nodding off because of the medication. Santana cleared up the living room as much as she could and then made her way back inside. She was uncertain as to whether Brittany would be alright with them sharing her bed again and was just about to make up the couch when the blonde stirred. "San?" she mumbled groggily and Santana had to hold back a chuckle at how adorable the blonde looked. She moved closer so Brittany could see her. "Come to bed" Brittany commanded in a sleepy voice, patting the pillow next to hers. Santana smiled broadly and slid under the covers quickly, turning off the light. She was just about to press a goodnight kiss to the blonde's head when she felt herself being pulled forward and Brittany's lips meeting hers in a long deep kiss. She gasped at the contact before responding and felt Brittany smile into the kiss at her enthusiastic reaction. "Thank you Santana, for the best first date ever" Brittany whispered into the darkness between them before settling back with a content sigh. Santana couldn't help the giddy smile that covered her face, and when Brittany reached out and linked their pinkies before she fell asleep, Santana knew that there was nowhere else that she'd rather be.

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**Review please? :) **


	17. Chapter 17

**Love the reviews and the love. I also love the Jesse bashing ;) **

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own glee**

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A week later and things hadn't gotten any better. Will's phone had been stuck to his ear, so much so that Santana was wondering if it would need to be surgically removed. Will had even tried talking to Mr Motta alone but he would just quote focus group results and statistics that would support the formation of a girl group. They had made call after call and tried with all of the big labels but nothing. The producers were wary not wanting to work with her, and she was beginning to despair because maybe Jesse was right. She walked into the room and heard Will yell, "But she just won a Grammy for God's sake. What further proof do you want?" He clamped his jaw shut and listened to whatever was being said before saying a tired "I understand. Thank you" and hanging up. His shoulders were slumped and dejected and Santana was suddenly angry with Jesse. This wasn't just about her, it was about Will and Brittany and all the other people who were counting on her. God! Even Marley had soon disappeared after their little stunt. _Enough is enough! I'm done with messing everything up. _She walked over to Will and threw an arm around his shoulder. "Hey why don't you take a breath? I was thinking of calling a few people over tonight, you know just to hang out and get our mind off this. Come along around 8 and bring your fiancé along. We all deserve a break." She said. Will looked at her, surprised at her sudden niceness but nodded. "Thanks Santana, I'm gonna keep trying though. I'll see you later at 8?" he asked.

A few hours later, Santana poured wine for Kurt as Will and Blaine chatted. Brittany was putting some music on and Will's fiancé was in the bathroom probably washing her hands again. When everyone had sat down to dinner at the dining table she stood up, "I...uh... I don't do speeches very well, Britt here was always better at that kind of thing" she said smiling down at the blonde who smiled warmly back and reached out to hold her hand, Santana continued, "The thing is, as most of you know Motta Records has offered me a job, a job that I don't really want but it's happened because I've been selfish and scared and somewhat of an idiot. I don't think it's fair that you guys suffered because of me, especially you Will. I appreciate all your help so far, even though I have a horrible way of showing it, so I've decided. Tomorrow I'm gonna take Jesse up on his offer. It's time I start dealing with what I've done" she said sitting down to shocked faces before everyone started talking at once. "Look guys, please don't try and change my mind. This is the only option I've got and who knows? I may actually make that shit cool again. Just please let it go" she said turning to Will.

The rest of the dinner proceeded without any further disturbance although there was an undercurrent of tension, Santana knew Kurt didn't approve, could almost feel his worry everytime he looked at her, or Will who kept texting and getting up to take calls, or the fact that Brittany had not let go of her hand since she'd made that announcement. It felt good to have people around her who cared about her so much. It made her feel strong enough to take on the huge challenge she was about to face.

When Kurt said his goodbye, he hugged her tight and then proceeded to kiss her cheek. She smirked and said, "Well well Porcelain, I knew you couldn't resist this" while gesturing down her body making Kurt roll his eyes and link his arm securely through Blaine's. Emma thanked her for dinner and complimented her on the cleanliness of her spirit and character. Santana worked hard to bite back a retort to that and just nodded mutely, her eyes shining with amusement. Will pulled her into a corner, "Santana are you sure about this?" he asked urgently. Santana looked up at him, "Honestly no I'm not but I have to do SOMETHING Will. I have to think about other stuff too, it's not just me anymore" she said as her gaze settled on Brittany who was talking to Emma about how best to give Lord Tubbington a bath. Will followed Santana's soft gaze and then smiled to himself, before something clicked. "Did he threaten you or her, Santana?" he asked urgently. Santana looked up at him, she wanted to tell him exactly what a scumbag Jesse was but it would serve no purpose. "Look Will, I wish things were different, really I do but the reality is that they aren't. We haven't heard back from anyone, I can't take a chance and wait. Jesse gave us a week to decide which ends tomorrow, unless there's something that pops up tonight, this is it" she said. Will shook his head stubbornly. "Will, I've made my peace with it. Maybe you should too. We tried, it just didn't work out" she said shrugging. Will squeezed her shoulder, his face still troubled and then left, leaving Brittany and her alone in the apartment.

Santana closed the front door and felt pale arms wrap around her and a soft kiss being pressed to her neck. She relaxed instantly into the blonde's touch with a sigh. Brittany turned her around and wrapped her arms loosely around her waist, and looked at her intently. Santana felt herself blush under the blonde's scrutiny. "What?" she asked, "Why are you looking at me like that?" ducking her head. Brittany put one finger under her chin and raised it so Santana could meet her eyes, "I wanted to ask you something, but I'm trying to figure out how" she said. Santana's eyes immediately turned fearful, "Britt, I'm sorry I haven't been able to take you on a proper date yet. This thing has taken away so much of my time. I promise it'll get better. I'll get better." She said in a rush, her thoughts full of fear that the blonde was going to leave her. Brittany silenced her rambling with a soft kiss, "I'm not going anywhere San" she said softly, knowing as usual what was going on in the singer's mind. "I was actually waiting to ask because we said we'd take things slow, but I don't want you to think that what you do affects the way I feel about you. I don't want you to think that it's because you have a certain job, or live a certain way or earn a certain amount. It's the real you that I want, the you that's hidden away, that plays with rubber ducks, and wears glasses and sweats, the you that sings along lazily and burrows her feet in the blanket when it's cold, the you that not many people get to see because you're scared. The loyal, vulnerable, kind and caring you. The most beautiful you. That's all I want. That's who I love. So what I wanted to ask is, will you be my girlfriend?"

Santana's heart was a big pile of mush when Brittany was saying her sweet words. The blonde definitely knew her better than anyone ever had, better than Quinn or her parents. When she said she loved her and asked her to be her girlfriend, her heart almost stopped beating. It was like she had forgotten to speak. Her chest felt full, as if it was about to burst with something it could not contain. She looked into Brittany's blue eyes, that now held a hint of worry because she hadn't answered. _Answer her you fucking idiot!Don't just stand there gaping like a fucking goldfish._ She took a deep breath and whispered out a shaky "Yes". Brittany squealed in excitement and lifted Santana up twirling her around, causing her to giggle hysterically and shriek at Brittany to put her down, when the blonde did, it was to capture her lips in a sweet kiss. "Britt... are you sure about this?" she asked, when they broke apart. Brittany's answer was to grab hold of her face and plant kisses all over it, punctuating every one of them with a resounding "Yes"

They giggled as they kissed dragging each other to the bedroom. They hadn't slept together since Santana had shown up at Brittany's door begging for forgiveness. Santana pulled at Brittany's top, pulling it off and throwing it across the room followed closely by her bra. She quickly divested herself of her own top and bra and then fell on to the bed holding Brittany to her. She loved the way her skin felt pressed up against hers. Brittany who had earlier been furiously kissing her, quickly understood the change of pace and littered little mouse kisses all over Santana's face and neck as the Latina just lay with her arms wrapped around the blonde's, their hearts beating together. It was her favourite sound in the world, _well that and Brittany's laugh, or the way she sings, or the way she whimpers when I kiss her armpit, or the way she moans when I go down on her...or when she's screaming my name. _Santana gulped as arousal flooded her, her hips canting upwards as her thoughts ran away from her. Brittany slipped a thigh in between her legs and pressed down on Santana making her moan aloud, as her leg brushed her intimately. She quickly got on top of Brittany and stilled her leg, placing soft sweet kisses all over her face. Brittany giggled and then sighed softly as Santana kissed down her neck, angling her head so the singer had better access."I love you Britt" she whispered, and smiled in delight when Brittany looked deep into her eyes and replied "I love you too San". Santana kissed her slowly, trying to put meaning into every kiss, worshiping her body with her lips and her tongue. Her heart was pounding and her whole body resonated with want and love. It struck her that she was making love to her girlfriend for the very first time. Her fingers gently mapped out Brittany's body, each touch a caress, filled with love. They traded sweet kisses, Santana's tongue gently entering the blonde's mouth and sliding against hers. She smiled when she heard Brittany groan, her nails scratching down Santana's back. She moved down gently, kissing her neck and shoulders, until she took a hardened nipple in her mouth. Brittany gasped and arched upwards, wrapping her legs around Santana as she rolled her tongue gently over the bud, while her other hand tenderly pinched the other. Brittany was writhing by now, so Santana went lower kissing her stomach and running her tongue into her bellybutton. She pulled off Brittany's jeans and panties, swallowing with desire as she smelled her arousal. She continued kissing her leg, her knee, her ankle and back the other leg till she ran her tongue lightly over her inner thigh. Brittany's moans were interrupted by a mumble. "What is it Britt?" she asked softly puling herself up to eye level. Arousal flooded her again as she took in the blonde dishevelled hair and the blue eyes darkened with want. "Together, I want us to come together" the blonde said clearly. Santana nodded understanding exactly what she wanted and quickly got rid of the rest of her clothes. She manoeuvred herself between the blonde's legs, gently lifting one of Brittany's bringing their centers together, both girls gasping at the contact. Brittany's hand trailed down to Santana's and she interlaced their fingers as they both moved together bringing them closer to the edge. Brittany who was already worked up was the first to go over, her writhing and shrieks making Santana follow shortly after. This time though, they looked into each other's eyes, both of them expressing all the emotion they could as their bodies jerked and they fell off the edge.

Brittany panted as she came down from an unbelievable orgasm. Santana was everywhere filling her senses and the blonde felt like she had taken drugs. Nobody made her feel this way except Santana. She cradled the brunette closer to her as she kissed her cheek softly and cuddled into her side. "That was amazing baby" she said, and was surprised when Santana kissed her passionately. "Yes it was...baby" she replied cheekily, the smile stretching wide, causing her dimples to stand out. This was Brittany's absolute favourite smile. She laughed and kissed the dimples, as Santana snuggled into her embrace. "I like when you call me that" she said blushing as Santana smiled even wider and then turned her face as Santana kiss hers. Babe*kiss*Sweetheart*kiss* Honey*kiss* Cupcake* kiss* Pookie*kiss* and then proceeded to start with Spanish terms of endearment only riling Brittany up again and leading to another two rounds of passionate lovemaking.

Santana lay spent as the blonde lay slumbering besides her. She'd managed to forget about tomorrow's meeting thanks to Brittany's effective means of distraction. She couldn't quite believe that she'd asked her to be her girlfriend. Santana had wanted it for so long, wanted to be able to take her out, be seen with her, go to a restaurant or a movie or a club and not have to worry about what people said because she would have Brittany on her arm, and now it had finally happened. She was so happy and her face broke into a smile as she leaned over and kissed the sleeping girl's naked shoulder. She could get used to this, waking up together, and falling asleep together every day. She'd gladly do whatever it took to make sure they remained this happy.

The next morning they woke up tangled together as usual but instead of awkward laughs and separating themselves, they kissed passionately, running their hands over each other's bodies and ending up getting in a quickie. "Go San" Brittany laughed as she pushed her girlfriend into the shower, "You're gonna be late, and if I get in you'll never show up to that meeting" she said as she giggled at Santana's pout. _She seriously is the most adorable thing ever!_ "Go baby, I promise I'll make it up to you tonight" she whispered seductively enjoying the effect she had on her girlfriend. Santana's eyes darkened and she pulled in a shaky breath. Brittany giggled again and walked out, giggling harder when she heard Santana yell out "Tease" behind her.

Santana sat in the boardroom and checked her phone again. _Where the hell was Will?_ He was already 10 minutes late. Jesse was chatting on his phone and ignoring Santana's death glares. He hung up and made a big show out of looking at his watch. "Is your guy still not here?" he asked distastefully, running his hand through his hair. Santana looked at him in disgust, "Do you see him here idiot? Or is your swollen head affecting your vision?" she said sarcastically. Jesse smirked, "Do you think we should wait for him?" he asked seriously. Santana rolled her eyes, "Yes we should, 'cos I sure as hell 'aint signing anything without him checking it out. You'd probably sell me out to private performances for your daddy's circle of perverts down at the cigar club." She said as she crossed her arms and tried to hide her worry. Will was never late, and he always answered his phone, irrespective what time she called, but he'd been out of touch all morning and it was unnerving her more than it should have.

Jesse leaned back in his chair, and his smirk widened, "I asked because it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't show up at all" he said. Santana crossed her arms tighter, "And why would that happen?" she asked. Jesse grinned, "Oh I don't know, washed up lesbian singer, manager with just enough sense to recognise talent but have none of his own and the fact that his client is pretty much signing her own death warrant career wise, I won't blame him for running. He has to think about himself, and his future. I hear he has a fiancée, how is he gonna provide for her? You aren't his sole priority you know. Plus, my sources tell me there are a couple of singers interested in working with him. It won't be a big surprise if he decides to bail on you" he said settling comfortably into his chair. Santana's brow furrowed, Jesse's words hitting closer to home than she dared to admit. She tried not to show it though and just glared at him and averted her gaze.

Jesse stood up and walked to the window and looked out. Santana checked her phone again, and tried to get through to Will but she couldn't. She almost threw her phone on the table in frustration. She was pissed, pissed at Will for not being there, pissed at Jesse for being and asshole and more importantly pissed at herself for stooping down to this level, for selling out. Jesse was answering a call and looking over at her. "It'll be done sir" he said and signed off. "That was Mr Motta, he doesn't want this delayed any longer. I need you to sign this now" he said as he slid across a bunch of papers. Santana gulped and once again her eyes danced between her phone and the door. "And if I don't?" she asked defiantly trying to buy time. Jesse sighed, "Then I'm afraid we withdraw the offer. Look everything has been looked over by your lawyers and our lawyers, it's all legit, all we need is your fucking signature, so sign it already" he said in an annoyed tone. Santana looked down at the document, the lines all blurring into each other, her head was spinning, and a voice kept warning her not to do it. She rummaged around in her bag for a pen, ignoring the one Jesse held out, more to spite him than anything else. She finally pulled it out, and turned to the last page that required her signature. She looked at Jesse who wore a triumphant expression and then once more looked to the door, she sighed and had just touched pen to paper when the door burst open and a dishevelled Will fell in, "Don't sign the papers Santana"

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